Fakey Smile Better Than no Smile ...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter
This is the first brace put on my leg at the hospital on October 3rd. I had to be in a wheelchair ... this is at the Emergency Room.
I got to feel what I know some people must feel when they have been injured ... and need to still get around the best way they can.
I slipped, fell on October 3, 2015. Since ... I have been wearing a brace, been on crutches ... and when at a store ... ride in the electric shopping cart.
The pain, suffering has been great. Getting in, out of our vehicle has been very hard. No one hears, sees me cry from the pain when I try to lift my leg up to get all of me in the vehicle. I would smile if I saw someone ... I wouldn't let them see the pain I was feeling.
Every night is full of pain ... when in bed. Trying to turn over ... having to sit up first ... then, maneuver into place. Walking anywhere in the house is a struggle.
Having to keep an awkward, sometimes ... painful brace on isn't fun. Having the brace to slip down, and the plastic buckle digging into the top of one's foot is awful, when out somewhere trying to get around. It isn't easy to readjust the fittings when out ... it isn't that easy at home.
Losing the freedom to get about is ... just ... I am going to speak the truth for-real ... losing the freedom to get about is pure ... Hell. On top of other health conditions ... it's been truly awful.
Now ... having said all of this ... mind you, I'm not complaining at all. I am stating only a little of ... how it feels.
I had looked forward to my favorite time of the whole year ... Fall-time. I had looked forward to wearing my boots with jeans, sweaters. I looked forward to going to several Fall Festivals, to the State Fair. If I do go ... it won't be easy.
I'm sad because now, I can't walk far ... I have to walk very easy, slowly. I am beginning to move without the crutches some. I still get off-balance. I have to move slowly ... I have to go down our steps ... backwards.
In this experience so far ... one thing stands out to me that bothers me. I saw a woman I always thought the world of ... she always seemed to think a lot of me ( these are those 'friends' I spoke of ) ... at Walmart when I had to go pick up medicine.
Skip wasn't here to be with me. I had to ride in the electric shopping cart to move about in the store. I saw the woman ... I saw her see me ... avert her eyes, not look at me. I thought it strange ... usually when someone likes you ... they will run up, ask what happened. She ignored me. Friend? I've known her since being a child.
Later, when I went outside walking on my crutches ... I saw her again. She was near by ... she just looked at me ... kept walking. She looked at me that time. No smile like I was accustomed to seeing from her. A fakey smile would have been better than ... no smile.
Note by this Author:
Photos, true story owned/written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Gloria Bates.
I know I won't speak to that woman again unless she ever comes up to me. Then, I will smile a ... fakey smile while pretending I still like her. Before ... my smiles were genuine. Now ... not.
I never forget ... I forgive ... I just never forget.
The good thing is that this too ... will pass. I look forward to looking ... back on this.
Colors As I Go
grief (32) only child (4) Scary (2) Boiled eggs (1) Distrust (1) Don't call me Faye (1) Dying (1) I hate to be called Faye (1) I'm afraid of the dark (1) Middle age woman (1) Pain that reaches the soul.. can't be seen (1) Running (1) Where did my youth go? (1) dying in a beautiful way (1) life is fragile (1) light on my path (1) my son (1)