That Big, Dark Cloud Of Impending Doom...

That Big, Dark Cloud Of Impending Doom...

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

I have to tell you all something.  I know you've noticed that recently I've spoken alot about ... death, dying.

I've told you about going through this thing about what I was feeling inside.... being afraid to die.  Everything has been 'death'.  I told you about the big, dark cloud that seemed to be over me.

What I did... and didn't tell you was... I've been so afraid for Skip.  It seems that I 'did have everything to worry about'.

Skip saw a cardiologist yesterday... thank God.  He found out that he's been taking medicine that's not right for him... this medicine was given thirty years ago to 'end renal failure' patients...................

That's not all.... (inside I am crying for how Skip has suffered... I feel shaky thinking how close he came to........ )..... that's not all... the same doctor gave him a fluid pill to take daily.....................................

The cardiologist went through Skip's medicines.... Skip took them so, they 'all could be seen' by the doctor.  If you could have watched the cardiologist's face like I did........... you'd seen him begin shaking his head saying "this is the worst medicine, you don't need to be taking this!"

The fluid pill was depleting Skip of his potassium, electrolytes.... Skip has been suffering for many months, in this hot weather... I 'knew' something was wrong.  But... I'm not the doctor.  I 'can advise'.... but, I am not a doctor.  You know how we all get these feelings... but, we might be listened to... BUT... we are not doctors.

It seems that the medicine he took previously wasn't a good medicine for him either... it shouldn't have been given to him because he was over fifty years old.  It 'seems alot of things'.......

This has been more than upsetting to me... I've been watching Skip suffer, go through each day with his pulse too low, dizzy, and not feeling well.  He forced himself to stay strong.... how did he do it.  Just like he did years ago... when he was losing so much blood... when I was deathly sick.

He put me first... how he didn't die then... amazed his doctors.  (How he didn't die now, because of the doctor who gave him these medicines................................................... is amazing.  His pulse came down to 29!  It was staying around 37...........................  )

That was when he was diagnosed with colon cancer... I was too sick to be aware of what was happening to Skip.  He worked at a company where he was their transportation fleet manager... once in a while when a driver would be out... he'd drive their truck out of state to deliver for them.  He was in Maryland the day, night before his surgery......

They had to give him so much blood.... the surgeon couldn't believe he'd functioned like he had for so long .... losing most all his blood.  He couldn't believe Skip hadn't had a heart attack while driving.

Skip's oncologist was so shocked when she was told of what Skip had endured before his surgery.

I had been diagnosed, was being treated for non-Hodgkins lymphoma... cancer, to save my life.  Skip meant for me to live.... he worked hard, he was with me at every chemotherapy treatment I ever had.... I went through this twice in two years... I didn't stay in remission long.

Skip was so sick... dying at the same time I was so sick... dying.  He worked every day... he'd drive to get me, go to all the many tests, treatments I was scheduled for.  No one was there for us.... no one.

I had made Skip promise not to tell Tommy.... he was in Germany.  Just before I couldn't talk anymore, I remember whispering to him 'Skip, promise me you won't tell Tommy, promise me!'

I was so afraid if Tommy found out his mama was sick.... nothing would hold him back getting across that ocean to me... I was afraid something bad would happen to him.

Tommy loved his mama.  Tommy's mama loved him.  They 'would have walked through hell for the other'.... they would have crawled if it took that to get to the other.

'Now'... to the present.  I know 'why' it has happened, and I know that alot of people are being prescribed medicines that aren't good for them.

Guess what?  I was a victim, too.... just before Tommy died.  I went to a doctor in a local town close by.  I was having allergies... coughing, sneezing, my eyes watering, red.

This doctor did the allergy tests on me... I do have alot of allergies to various things.  Not only that..........

The doctor sat there looking me straight in my eyes and said, "you have asthma"...............................  I looked back at him, repeated his words.  He said, "oh yes, you have asthma".  Strange enough, I didn't believe him.... but, I went against my feeling ... took the medicine thinking it would really help me breathe better..........

He gave me samples of medicine to inhale... and gave me prescriptions.  I took it over a period of weeks ... I was becoming progressively more short of breath, and panicking because I couldn't breathe well.

Skip took me to the hospital emergency room where we told them about the medicine I was taking.  Skip told the ER physician that I was diagnosed with asthma, showed him the medicine.  In the meantime.... the ER physician called my cardiologist... as I didn't have a primary doctor.

My cardiologist came to the hospital wanting to know what was going on.  He couldn't believe I'd been diagnosed with asthma, taking that medicine.  He admitted me.... I couldn't breathe well, I was panicking, really... in bad shape.

Once admitted, I was tested with this huge machine that was very sophisticated... it took quite some time to do all I was told to do.  I didn't have any evidence of .......... asthma.

It took a week before I began to be myself again... I had gotten in bad shape....

It seems there are doctors who want, need more patients sometimes.... need I go on?  No matter what profession people are in... it's like a basket of beautiful, red apples..... there are going to be some 'bad' apples.

I could go on, and on here about some doctors I've known, but... I won't.    I will say this much.... always question... research on the computer about medicines... if something doesn't feel right... or you feel ill effects from medicines... get a second opinion.

Just because a person 'fixes cars for a living... doesn't mean he is a good mechanic' every time.  Sometimes, we have to take a car to another mechanic to get it fixed...... right.  It's the same way in everything in life.

Skip... I have been so worried about him.  'Now'... I know all my feelings were right.  'Now'.... I know I had a right to be scared that something was going to happen to him.

Now.. I know that big, dark cloud of impending doom ... was real, was looming close by.  I know more than I've written here.

I also, know like us.... millions of people don't have insurance... sometimes, that made a difference in the care we get/got.  The truth is the truth.....

It seems this morning that big, old dark cloud of impending doom.... is moving away from here!  :)))