Reflections of a Woman Who is Growing Older ...

I have been helping Skip with his shower, dressing.  I am always close by ... I don't want him to fall.  Skip's balance was affected by the recent stroke.  His handwriting was also, affected.  

I am Skip's living guardian angel ... I watch over him when he's awake or when he is asleep.  He and Camie are my own little world, I have to do everything with keeping them safe, taken care of. Skip has always taken good care of me, our Pups, kept us safe. It's my turn now. 

Sometimes Skip becomes down ... because of his limitations.  He gets very sad he can't go back to driving a truck, make big money once again.  He tells me he is sorry our life has gone down since he began having strokes, heart problems. He always says he is going to get better and get back to work so, he can take good care of Camie (our Pup), and me.

I tell him I know he'll go back to work one day.  For now, he can focus on being as strong as he possibly can.  I tell him we might not have everything we were used to having ... that's okay because we have each other.  That's most important.  It could have ... not been like that at all as many medical things have happened to him ... me. I tell him to never apologize.

I don't focus on what I don't have ... I focus on each day, how I can make it better for Skip, Camie, and me. If I don't have what I need at any given moment I begin thinking about how I can improvise. If I can't improvise I let it go.  I tell myself I will just do the best I can.

I have been through too much to let everything bother me.  I can remember a time when I would be very upset because I didn't have what I used to easily go out, buy.  Now ... I just wait until I know I'll be able to get what I need.  Simple as that and ... so much less worrying.  I feel much better.

When we are younger it seems we all play the game of 'keeping up with the Jones'.  Oh my, the time we waste as young adults ... trying to be something we aren't. When I say that I can look back into my past and see how I lived in a dream world I thought was real living.  No ... I 'real-live' now, and all doesn't glitter, sparkle. I wouldn't trade my life now for it.  

We all have to come back down to earth one day ... the time I wasted doing it.  That's okay, I make up for it now. I have learned people and animals, love, forgiving, caring, giving is what Life is all about. I wish I could have slowed down as a younger woman to know what I do now.

I do a lot of reflecting now. I do a lot of wishing now.  This is what happens as one begins to grow older. All I can do now is ... to take one day at a time, make it as good as I can make it.

Written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates ... July 22, 2021.  Reflections of a woman who is growing older ... and trying to do it as gracefully as I possibly can. Photo is owned by me.