Tuesday, December 31, 2013

It Goes To Show... There's Always Someone... Who Wants What You Want

It Goes To Show... There's Always Someone ... Who Wants What You Want
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee ...2013

I heard a struggle going on behind the door.  I felt a sick sensation spread like a dark, inky pool in my stomach.  I bent over from the power of it.  I slowly straightened back up.  I knew what was going on... there was nothing I could do to stop it.

I put my fingers in my ears... I didn't want to hear.  Didn't want to hear the thuds going on behind that door.  A gasp, a moan... I knew it would be over soon.

Soon... we'd have fresh meat.  I was starving for fresh meat.  It had been so long.  The water was boiling in the big pot on the stove.  In a few minutes, chunks of fresh meat would dropped... chunk by chunk.  My mouth salivated... I licked my tongue on my lips.  It's not everyday I got meat like this.

I heard the door opened... I felt excitement when I saw him stand there in the doorway.  Blood was dripping red onto the floor at his feet.  He was grinning as he held his hands out.  Big chunks of red, bloody meat sat in a pile on both palms of his hands.

He walked into the kitchen, to the sink.  "Don't wash the blood off", I cried.  I wanted to taste the pure red of the blood, feel the kill... as the last breath left the body of our prey.

I loved blood... it was the giver of life to me.  I thrived on blood... wasted away when I couldn't have it.  My mouth watered, I wanted to savor the red... the red.  Oh my God, I wanted the pure red... from the blood.

In fact, some of the meat wouldn't be making its way into the pot of boiling water.  I grabbed a chunk of meat from the sink where he had laid it.  Like a greedy baby for a cookie, I crammed it in my mouth.  I began sucking the blood... holding it inside my mouth.  I savored it like there was no tomorrow.

My eyes were closed, my mouth perched tightly around the flavor of pure red... it was pure heaven as I sucked the blood slowly from my teeth, let it go down my throat slowly.  I wanted to taste it forever.

I tasted it forever, until I opened my eyes just in time to see... the bloody ax come down on my head.  I became the prey... the pure red blood someone else wanted to savor.

It's a dog eat dog world.  There's someone always bigger, better than the next.  No one is invincible...  it goes to show, there's always someone ... who wants what you want.

Note by Author:

When writing... when letting the words flow where they will... one never knows what will happen.  I let the words flow... and they even scared myself... until at the end when the twist came... I laughed.  I never know what I'm going to write ... it is what it is.
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I Am Amazed... My 2013 Wordpress Blog Review

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee ... 2013


Crunchy numbers
A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 7,100 times in 2013. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 6 trips to carry that many people.
In 2013, there were 280 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 842 posts.
The busiest day of the year was March 25th with 61 views. The most popular post that day was What Are You Afraid Of?.

Attractions in 2013
These are the posts that got the most views in 2013. You can see all of the year’s most-viewed posts in your Site Stats.
1 I'm Old Enough... 11 comments April 2013
2 A Straw Bale Garden Was Born Today... 15 comments April 2013
3 You Aren't Alone... If You've Ever Had A Bad Hair Experience 18 comments March 2013
4 What Are You Afraid Of? 21 comments March 2013
5 Damnation... Hellfire (I'm Not Apologizing... I'm Not) 25 comments April 2013

How did they find you?
The top referring sites in 2013 were:
Some visitors came searching, mostly for angolan witch spider, straw bale gardening, and gloria faye brown bates.

Where did they come from?
−That's 72 countries in all!
Most visitors came from The United States. The United Kingdom & Australia were not far behind.

Who were they?
Your most commented on post in 2013 was Damnation... Hellfire (I'm Not Apologizing... I'm Not)
These were your 5 most active commenters:
1  prenin 355 comments
2  CJ 106 comments
3  jmgoyder 89 comments
4  lenwilliamscarver 80 comments
5  Chatter Master 78 comments


Thank-you, Prenin.  You are my very biggest, loyal follower, blog friend on Wordpress.com.  It means the world to me.  Love, Gloria

CJ... Colleen and Morguie ...thank-you for coming along in my blog life to make me smile, laugh even if tears were in my eyes.  I am honored to call you friend, also.  Love, Gloria

J M Goyder... Julie, you've been there always... also.  Thank-you for always speaking to me in your quiet, soft voice on my blog.  It has meant a lot.  Love, Gloria

Len Williams Carver... Len, thank-you for being there all this time.  You have suffered your own grief like mine, in a different way.  Yet... you always cared about my grief.  Thank-you for caring.  Love, Gloria

Chatter Master...  Colleen, you have always been there, also.  Just because your name is the last one on this list... it doesn't mean I thank-you any less.  Your words have meant so much to me.  Thank-you.  Also... thank-you for my much loved 'nickname' given by you to me.  I love being called... 'G/GG.  :)))  Love, Gloria

Note ...  From Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

I want to let everyone know how much they mean to me... your comments might not have been the very most... I want you to know they meant just as much to me... I read such caring, love in them.  They meant the world to me.

All of you who cared enough to follow me... mean the world to me.  I thank all of you for being here, 'there'... at the most weakest point in my life.

All of you have helped to keep me lifted up from the clutches of the Sea of Grief, from being trapped in the Dark World of Grief.

I have sat, thought about how one person...  'me' ... is so fortunate to have all of you follow me.  I'm only one person in 'millions' who blog everyday.

Somehow... you all found 'me'.... I'm so amazed.  Somehow... you all let me know you cared... not only that, you all... followed 'me'.  Now... that amazes me to no end.

I can't believe how 'you all'... chose 'me'... to follow, too.  How special is that?  That's something no one can take for granted... I promise you I never take anything for granted.

I say in the quietest, most softest way... I'm so, so honored.  This means the world to me.  Thank-you for following 'me'... someone who isn't anyone special... no one famous... certainly someone not perfect at all.  Thank-you. Love, Gloria/aka Granny Gee  :)))

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Monday, December 30, 2013

The Happy Smile She Would Wear ... When Needed

The Happy Smile She Would Wear ... When Needed
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Tommy and Taban ... my only son, my only grandson...

She took the mask off her sad face
Alone in her home, sitting in front of the mirror
Now, the smile lay on her dressing table ... instead of her face

She took the gold hoops out of her ears... six, in all
Unclasped the golden chain that held a special nugget
A big, gold nugget her son wore until the moment ... he died

She wore the gold nugget as a young girl in high school
Melted it down as a young woman to wear around her neck
Gave it to her only child when he was a young man

He wore it proudly, knowing it was his mother's class ring
Melted down by the jeweler to be worn on a gold chain
It was taken from his neck shortly after he went to Heaven

His mother treasures her gold nugget as she never did before
She touches it time to time... trying to feel her son
Trying to somehow, feel his last moments

Try as did... she never could... she couldn't feel anything
She would catch herself patting it gently... as if to comfort

To comfort herself... somehow, comfort her son when he died
Isn't it strange how we do things when we lose the ones we love?

One day this mother's gold nugget will be given to her grandson
When she's gone, for him to remember his father; father's mother

Maybe one day when he is a young man just like his father was
His Granny Gee will put the gold chain with the nugget on his neck

On his neck to wear with pride, to wear with such love
To know that his Granny Gee, his father wore it through time

His Granny Gee got it in 1968, gave it to his father in the late 80's
He wore it until the evening of May 29, 2010 when he went away

Went away forever... on that evening by the sea
On the warm sand, where his body was lowered by the angels

Lowered gently by their hands, their wings beating softly
All the while the sea gulls sung, 'Come home, Tommy, come home'

Tommy traveled that day to Myrtle Beach to play with his little son
By the ocean ... he barely made it in time... soon, he left once again

On an unexpected journey no one knew about, not even him
He didn't have time to say goodbye... he looked out to the sea

Heard the waves washing ashore, the sea gulls sing
The rustle of the angels' wings... felt the breeze on his face

He must have heard his little son say 'come play with me, daddy'
Maybe tears filled his eyes, he couldn't say anything

He may have stayed just long enough for the group of people
The people who came to his side, who protected his little son

Protected him, until his mama came... they must have been angels
They were the only ones there at that time, that place

One picked up the cellphone Tommy dropped, rang the last number
The last number dialed... to a home two hundred miles away

Hello!  They heard a happy voice say, when she answered the phone
'Ma'am, I have a man collapsed on the sand, he's not breathing'...

They never knew at that moment... she died, too
For this was how she learned of the death of her only child, her son

She sat at her dressing table, her lips in a sad smile
Her eyes looked in the mirror at her reflection

Tears filled her eyes, she wanted to cry
No matter how happy she was .... she was sad

No matter how sad she was ... it didn't change anything
To this day... she still couldn't believe that her son is really ... gone

She closed her eyes as she sat there ... traveled to the ocean in her mind
Her head rested on the back of the chair as she fell asleep, listening to the song of the seagulls as they ... sang

She awoke to a soft whiteness around her... where was she?
Someone came toward her... his smile like the sunshine

His hair shone like gold... his eyes were blue as the sky
Tommy!  Tommy!  She cried

As he hugged her, told her he loved her... she felt a bump
On her knee ... she opened her eyes to see three Pups

One standing by her knee, one laying on her foot
The other had just jumped up to kiss her on her face

She smiled her sad smile as she looked at the happy smile
Laying on her dressing table... the one she would wear when needed

The happy smile, the happy smile
She would wear... the one she would wear when needed

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Throw That Dead Plant Out The Door...

Throw That Dead Plant Out The Door...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates

Potted plant with Christmas Spiders I made...

On my table sits a potted plant, all brown... withered
I hold onto it just in case... just in case it shows life

I watch, listen... look all through it with hope in my heart
Why?  Because the plant meant something to me, I want it to live

Should I throw that dead potted plant away?
I mean, it might revive itself from my love... begin growing again

Am I fooling myself, wishing for the impossible
Can one make a dead person come back alive ... with love?

Can I make this dead potted plant come back alive
Will my love, caring make it grow... it's dead, dead, dead

Letting go, throwing that dead potted plant out the door
Doesn't mean I hate it, never loved it... it's dead, it can't return my love

The plant isn't aware how much it means to me... it won't even show green for me
Brown, withered... nothing I can do will bring it alive

At first... I would see a sign of green to let me know it wanted to grow
Life came along ... affected me, plant and all

Until that potted plant just died sitting there on that table
Today... after trying to keep it all these years ... I throw it away

It doesn't mean I love it any less... I will love it always because of what it meant to me
Now... there's no place for it in my life... I'll do us both a favor

Throw it right out that door, never look back... because no matter how my heart hurts
That plant's not coming back alive... it has no heart... no roots; they died long ago

I won't keep beating a dead horse to make it come alive
I'll leave it in peace now... no more, no more ... this is it

Everyone can think what they will ... they will anyway
Think I never loved, or cared... it's what they don't know

Never will... what's been in my heart all these years
Never know the pain I've lived with... now, I'm old enough to know to... let go

Let go of what has been in my side all these years
I should have done it long ago... less heartache, less grief, pain

I didn't want to, I didn't want to let go
Throw that dead potted plant ... out the door
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Saturday, December 28, 2013

Time To Let Go Of You ... And You ... And ... You

Time To Let Go Of You ... And You ... And ... You
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

There comes a time in a person's life when it's time to cleanse
Get the clutter out of their life, be able to see... think clearly
Clutter being material things... clutter being negative people

Time to let go of things unneeded, things that take up space
People who are negative... people who deceive us as friends
People who are unhealthy for us .... who use us when needed

Time to let go of people who pretend they are family, care
People who latch onto us, if they think we are somebody
Unlatch from us... if we are not

What better time to cleanse our life from all the riff-raff
Let go of all the things that take up space, cause us grief
What better time than... now... to let go?

Clutter, negative people are like bricks in a foundation
Bricks that are broken, no good for building
A house that sits on them... will fall down, never be secure

Let go, let go ... get the clutter out of your life
Be it material... be it living
Get it out ... get it out before it smothers, weighs you down

Get the negative people out who lie to your face, laugh behind your back
You know who they are... they know you know, yet they keep right on
It's time to get their ass out of your life, throw them out like trash

How about the one who promised to tell you how your brother is
'Forgets' to tell you anything... yet, sees the family often
How about being told not to say anything... you smile, you lie

Thinking no one knows what you've done... has waited on you
For months to see... if you were a real friend... family
Disappointed... because you were no more than anyone else

It's time for you, and others to part ways, go your way forever
Time for me to go mine forever... never crossing paths again
Because... who needs enemies when they have ... family?

Family of black widow spiders who constantly strike, bite
Bite the other in the back, lying... deceiving the whole time
It's the end of the year now... it's time to let go of all who cause grief

Begin life anew... more space in your life, your mind,  your heart
To fill with good things, thoughts... happiness
Where before... was filled with unhappiness from too much clutter

It's time to let go... let go ... I'm going to ... let go soon
I've been doing a lot of cleaning, in my home and in my mind
Time for these negative people... to go... time to let go, clean my life


Author's Note:

I've been doing a lot of cleansing in my life... material things that have cluttered my life.  Now... in the next week or so... I hope the negative people will go on in their life... because I will be letting go of them ... one by one.

This will be my only goodbye to them... I send you best wishes to take with you ... when I let go of you on my Facebook... my life.

You are the 'broken bricks' in my foundation... I have to remove you in order... to make my foundation stronger.

We all should do this from time to time... but, many won't.  They are afraid of being alone... afraid of having no one.  I am not.  I don't miss what I never had... before.  I do this in a kind way, and wish all back to the ones I let go... that they gave, touched my life with.  They are ... very deserving.

No one should have enemies when... they have ... family.  Life is what it is... I hold no hard feelings... if you have to, so... be it.
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Friday, December 27, 2013

Making The Dark Go Away...

Making The Dark Go Away...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee... 2013

A sad, unhappy woman made her way down the aisle
Of the store she was in... she stopped to look
At socks of many colors, stripes and polka dots

She thought how beautiful the colors were
Grabbed up packs of them, put them in her cart
She needed color in her life to drive away the dark

The dark that threatened to take over her world
Fill it with depression, unhappiness... grief
No!  No, I can not let it happen again, she thought

Colors!  I need colors... throw the dark ones away
She walked down another aisle in the store
Began filling her cart with many things, many ... colors!

Soon, she was in line to pay for her purchases
Out the door, into her car driving down the road
Once at home, she took her many colors inside her house

Laid them all out until... all she could see was happiness
Happiness all around her... no darkness lingered
She had colored her world with many colors, making the dark go away
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Thursday, December 26, 2013

Light In Her Diamonds... Gold

Light In Her Diamonds... Gold
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Hot tears flowed softly along her cheeks
Like a second skin... a thin coating
At first warming, then... cooling until cold

Teardrops reflecting like little diamonds
To match the rings she wore on her fingers
Catching the light... colored sparks reflecting from them

She found comfort touching her gold, diamond rings
They represented ... light ... no matter how dark
If a glint of light was close by... her rings would capture it

Capture it, holding light to comfort her
The light reflected off the shiny gold, so bright
To be there for her... until it captured more ... light

She wished for light to permanently stay in her diamonds, gold
So, she'd never be in the dark again
Wear her light always to comfort her... keep her in the light

She'd have to be careful then... because she'd have something unique
To make someone want to rob, steal ... take her light away
She'd only wear her rings for herself... when she felt down, sad

Only at nights when she went to bed, would she wear her rings
Rings of gold, diamonds... she would lay in the dark
Watching the light in her diamonds... gold rings... until she fell asleep
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Wednesday, December 18, 2013

I Am So Sorry... 'Why'... I Haven't Been Online

I Am So Sorry...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

I am sitting here at the public library once again... to write to you.  I thought my internet problems would have been over by now... not so.

I am in the process of waiting for a new mobile hotspot device to replace the defective one I have.  Sprint should have it here by Monday.

Now... since Saturday night, December 14th....  I've been on the phone with Sprint off and on.  We have our home internet service with them... plus, our cellphone service.  I've been told by each person that the Sprint tower located 3 miles from us was operating 'less than'... until it 'was down' completely... and I wouldn't have internet until approximately Tuesday (yesterday), at 2:00 pm.

Well, that didn't happen ... I called once again, and talked to someone very knowledgeable.  He made me an appointment at the Sprint store in Wake Forest... I took my mobile hotspot device (that provides me internet service) there... to find out that .... yes, indeed ... it had been my mobile hotspot device the 'whole time'!  It's defective, no good anymore.

Now... I'm in the waiting process to receive a new device on Monday.  I have very upset waiting so long to find out it was my device that was the problem the whole time.  I have went through countless 'tests', doing what every person at Sprint (when I called) told me to do.  If anyone needs 'an expert now'... call me.  I am joking.... :))) I don't know it all.  I am being facetious...

This is 'why' I haven't been writing  (I have been writing... I just couldn't go online to publish it).  I have tried to avoid going to our local library .... the keyboards, monitors aren't 'clean'... and I have to be careful... I don't want to get sick. When I do... it's possible to end up in the hospital.  I try to stay out of closed-in places, and crowds.

I may wait until Monday to get my device before getting back online... please understand why.  I'll know more each day what I will do.

Thank-you for understanding.  I have missed writing, being here every day so much.  I am so sorry...
(Needless to say... I will be checking, researching other ways to have internet... this has happened several times too many)....

Tuesday, December 10, 2013


By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Gloria Faye Brown Bates ... 6 years old

Lights flashing... red, blue... amber, green, yellow
Figures move in the shadows, doing what I don't know
They bend down, stand up... move all around

What's happened... what's happened
I know now, there's something I don't want to know
I move a little closer, my nose to the windowpane

I don't understand what I'm seeing
I turn to look at my mother who is asleep
I feel the bus come almost to a stop

I look down, see a man lying on the ground
I'm afraid when I see all the blood spread around
Spread around him, like a puddle of red paint

Oh, Mama, I'm afraid ... please wake up
I turn around to see if she woke
She never woke up to see what her little girl saw

When riding on that big Grayhound Bus
Back in the day... back in the day when it was exciting
In the day... when it was fun to ride one

I was but, a little girl ... yet, I heard a sound I loved
Big motor running, the smell of diesel fuel
It meant excitement, it meant going places new

This is when I found out I was like my Mama
Everyone always said she had to go, had to travel
This is when I found out that I had ... wanderlust

Monday, December 9, 2013

You Can't See Him ... I Can

You Can't See Him ... I Can
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

NOTE:  (This is just wishful thinking ... I wish to see my Son... I'm
remembering .... Tommy)...

... TOMMY ...

I can't see you ... for looking at him
You can't see him ... for looking at me
He stands between us ... all you see is air
When tears fill my eyes, and I smile... it's not for you

They are for him ... as I look up to his face
My tall, gentle-giant ... my son
You hear me speak to him... not to you
Hello, my precious Son... how I've missed you

You stand there ... wondering why I call you ... Son
Thinking, oh... what's wrong with you
Have you lost your mind .. I'm not your Son
Nobody's ... there

I don't hear you ... if I do, I may lose the vision
In front of me ... I've waited so long for him to appear
That I don't care if you think I've lost my mind
I focus on savoring the moment ... of seeing my Son

I reach up to touch his cheek ... I see his sunshine smile
You move back ... you aren't sure of what is happening to me
Especially ... when you see me smile the most beautiful smile
At someone ... you know is not ... you

You know it's real ... by my eyes, my actions
You can't pretend ... like that
You try so hard to see ... what I see
No matter what ... you can't ... but, you know something's there

You stand there in amazement as you watch, feel
Your heart is touched ... it's like a hand squeezes it
Gently in your chest ... your eyes fill with tears
Could it be ... could it really be Tommy?

I'm not aware of you as I speak to my Son
I smile, gesture ... laugh ... I cry
I touch his shoulder as I speak, I touch his cheek
I hug his neck ... when the time comes to say ... goodbye

I stand... sob ... you can't see why
You can't see my son as he walks away from me
Only to disappear again from my life ... I can't go after him
I cry my heart out ... I don't know you are there

My Son... Tommy ... you've left on another journey
On a journey I can't go on ... it's not time for mine
I stand there watching through shimmering, diamond teardrops
As you walk away ... until you are ... there, no more

Goodbye Tommy ... please come back
Please come to me again ... I don't care where I'm at
Just give me a moment to see you again
My eyes, my ears ... will only see, hear you

I stood, watched the tall, gentle-giant walk away from me
He always had the best posture for a man
My tears made him turn into a shimmering, wavy figure
That disappeared ... in front of my eyes
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Sunday, December 8, 2013

Anyone Watching...

Anyone Watching...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Gloria Faye Brown Bates and her Son, Tommy...
(I'm fortunate to have this photo... it survived a housefire)

I become aware of myself from time to time
As I go about doing my daily things
The other times, I'm in a trance
I don't think about things at all

When I become aware of my thoughts
I catch myself standing... my eyes half-closed
My head tilted to the side, my ears
Trying to hear sounds from the past

Anyone watching would see a woman
In deep, deep thought
What she's seeing, no one else can see
She's in her own mind... she's in the past

A little smile plays on her full lips
Her eyes soften... diamond teardrops fill them
In her mind, she sees a tall, gentle giant
Who is smiling back at her

He walks toward her, holds out his arms
I love you, Mama... I miss you, too
She closes her eyes as the ghost of her son
Hugs her tightly, she hugs the... air back

Anyone watching would see a woman
With arms reaching out as if to hold someone
Tears streaming down her cheeks
She seemed to be hugging someone, but... it was... herself

Anyone watching would see her lips move
Hear her say... I love you, too... Son
I miss you with my very Heart
Please don't go, stay here for a while

I have so much to tell you, I have a lot to say
You have to go... you can't stay but, a moment?
Please come back as soon as you can
I'll always watch out for you, I love you, Son!

Anyone watching would see a woman standing
Standing, watching something they can't see
Hear her speak, listen to someone they can't hear
See a woman crying her Heart out, sobbing... please don't go!

I go about my daily things, my eyes burn
I think about my precious Son...
I'm ... inside myself ... looking inward
I'm trying to enter the past

Try as hard as I can... I can't find the way
I mentally feel with my hands, trying to part the way
I look past things that try to attract my attention
I don't want to think about this... that... I want to enter the past

I want to go see my Son... back when he walked, talked
I want to hear the sound of his voice, his laughter
Hear some of his funny jokes
Reach out to hug him tightly... kiss him on the cheek

Anyone watching would see a woman standing there
Many expressions pass on her face
While she stood there, unaware
Of herself.... as she came back ... to herself

I felt a bittersweet smile on my lips
My cheeks felt wet as I reached up to touch them
I became aware that I was crying silently
Anyone watching would hear me say... I miss you, Son

Anyone watching would see a sad woman's face
Quickly turn into a bright smile when she saw them
Anyone watching would hear her say... I was sad for a moment
But now... everything's going to be alright

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It's A Miracle!

It Was A Miracle!
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee... 2013

Skip and I went grocery shopping. We walked around picking up the things we needed. I was suffering with allergies. I was sneezing, I felt like I had a cold. My eyes were red, watery... and truthfully... I felt like falling down.

I have allergies to perfumes, outside things... to the smell of tires (yes, that rubber smell)... to cleaning chemicals. I have had severe reactions in the past... where I became very sick... if someone were to see me... they would guess I'd been sick with a cold for some time.

Skip used to be amazed watching me... I would be very ill, almost having to lay down.... then, in thirty minutes or more... it was a miracle! I'd be well! I would be like I'd never gotten sick. I went from one extreme to the other.

This particular day... I was suffering. I didn't know what triggered the allergy attack... but, I was suffering. I couldn't see well for the tears in my eyes. I felt like all my energy drained... I wanted to just go out to the car to sit down. Allergies can affect a person in 'bad' ways...

We finished shopping, went to pay for our groceries. As the cashier began ringing up each item... two young boys began bagging them. They kept looking at me, they had those 'sh__-eating grins on their face... it dawned on me... those young boys think I'm 'messed-up'! Those boys thought I was 'f____ up'! In the past, when that happened to me... I would see people's expression. I was quick to say I was having an allergy attack! This time......

This time.... Skip was watching those two boys snickering, each taking his shoulder to bump the other... all the while looking at me. Now... I just wasn't feeling well at all; I felt as it I was going to do like the wicked witch of the west.... just melt down to the floor. I really was .... 'sick'. I was getting ready to tell them that I was having a bad allergy attack, when ...

Skip eased over to the young boys with a little grin on his face... He said, "Don't pay any attention to her... she just smoked a big doobie"! Oh my, those boys really began grinning at me.... Skip went on to tell them that I liked to smoke those big doobies every once in a while. The young boys ate it up... they began laughing, joking with Skip about it. Each time I went to tell them that it was just an allergy... Skip would say something about not letting me fool them... that I was messed up!

I knew I didn't have a chance of making those young boys believe me.... they 'just looked like the kind of boys who 'did' smoke doobies, themselves! All they wanted to do was snicker, bump each other... grin at me. I couldn't wait to walk out of there!

It didn't do any good to fuss at Skip... he was having such fun! He loves to 'get me in public'... to get fun reactions! I was so thankful to get to the car... on the way home... I began to 'get well', and before we drove up in our driveway.... 'I was well'! I wasn't sick anymore... it was a miracle!
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Saturday, December 7, 2013

House-Cleaning Not Only In The Physical World... Also... In My Mind

House-Cleaning Not Only In The Physical World... Also, In My Mind
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee



 For quite some time, I've felt closed-in. I've wanted lots of space around me. I've been doing a lot of thinking...

We've held onto pieces of furniture all through the years that we wanted to keep. Three years ago, we down-sized, moved into a very nice ... smaller ... house. We've been used to living in a bigger house.

We have tried to keep everything we had... in a bigger home. We didn't want to get rid of anything... I mean, each thing we had was ... because we wanted it.

No more... for some time I've felt 'closed-in'. We talked about the pieces of furniture we'd 'let go' of... so, we could enjoy living in the smaller home we live in. I'm telling you... you don't want to live with each room having 'too much' stuff in it. It becomes very depressing over time....

After taking the china hutch out of the dining room... the big, wooden desk out of the living room... one dresser out of the bedroom... and rearranging the house... it has made all the difference. I feel like I can 'breathe' again. Not only that... when we walk through... it makes me smile hearing us say, 'doesn't it look good that way'?

Now... after down-sizing a bit... I've decided to take the huge, antique coffee table out of the house. It's sitting in my art-room taking up space. It feels good to 'let go'....

I learned something about me, as we moved these things out of the house. We have become a little older ... it isn't easy at all to do these things. I'm so glad we did, though. It has made it easier for me to breathe, when I look around. Yes, I realized ... and faced up to... my body is a little older now. It isn't easy at all to do such things as it once was... :)))

I've been doing a lot of thinking as this has been going on in our life. 'Letting go'... of furniture so, we could have peace of mind, enjoy the space we live in... means a lot. I can look around now, smile. It looks nice... before, it looked nice... but, it was too easy to get cluttered. Now... it won't be.

My thoughts as I let go of pieces of furniture I loved... is that it's time to also, let go of things in my mind. I am feeling excitement about writing, drawing, painting now. The more we take out of the house, make the space 'bigger around us'... the happier I feel. It's all about letting go.... I can take deep breaths... I'm not so closed-in, now.

There are things that have worried me, kept me from feeling peace inside. It's time to 'let go', now. I was thinking 'why would I want to keep myself in turmoil' the rest of my life over things I have no control of?

Moving furniture out of the house, I can feel space around me... freedom to breathe, I can take deep breaths of air. I can look around me... feel happy not to 'see the same old things that pull me down'. I have come to a realization.....

I have realized that not only in my physical world have things changed... they have been changing in my mental world, the way I think. I have been 'letting go' inside my mind of things I can't change. Things that have worried me... that I have no control over.

Not only have I been 'house-cleaning in my physical world'... I've been house-cleaning .... in my mind.