By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
Photo of artwork by me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee ... Tommy died at the ocean ... Myrtle Beach, South Carolina ... to the sounds of a little child's laughter, sea gulls singing ... ocean waves making music.
A feeling of great sadness came over me
As I sat, waiting for the love of my life
My eyes followed the path of sea gulls
Flying not so high up in the sky
I tilted my head to one side, studying them
Why ... do they ... fly that way?
They flew in one area over the building
My loved one was in ... they flew in a circle
Then ... they flew as if they were following someone
As they walked beneath ... to the other side of the building
I felt unease ... sea gulls; sea gulls were singing when my son died
Sadness ... more than sadness fell over me like a soft, gray, fluffy blanket
Blanket of velvety gray ... the color I am afraid of if I see it on someone
Death ... I'm afraid of death ... afraid of losing my whole world
My whole world is very small, compared to others, and their world
Mine consists of one person, two Pups ... myself
I'm at an age, now ... where many have walked before me
Worried ... just like me; afraid ... just like me; they are gone, now
I don't want to go ... I want to hold on to my precious world
With all my might ... I won't let go
I would fight tooth and nail to live ... to make my loved ones, live
Like a mother lioness saving her babies from a certain death
Only ... I think about it now ... I never had a chance to fight for my own baby
My son ... he was gone in the blink of an eye, before I knew it
Who am I ... who do I think I am? No one, just someone
Who loves with their very one Heart, loves the world they have
A person is fragile by themselves ... a strength to be reckoned with
When in numbers ... my battles are done alone, so far ... I've won
One day, I may not be strong enough to win ... will I give up without a fight?
I don't think so ... if I lose, I will do it with dignity ... hopefully, with a smile
The sea gulls stayed in my mind ... worrying me
I thought about them through the night ... they flew this way, that way
Were they trying to call someone to come home, tell them
It's time to come home? While I was there, no one went ... home
Tommy's last sounds were the music of the sea gulls, ocean waves
His last sights were of his little three year old son ... the waves washing ashore
I pray that his last feeling wasn't of pain, nor fear
As the angels helped him fall to the soft, damp sand
I hope his spirit had begun to soar to the sky, fly with the sea gulls
Why ... why does my mind always come back to ... this point
I write what I feel ... it's always at this point, I stop ... begin thinking
The last moments ... my mind worries about Tommy's last moments
What he felt, heard ... saw; my mind begins to fill in the blanks
He heard the laughter of a precious little boy, ocean, and sea gulls
He felt the slightly damp spray of the waves as they washed in
Felt happiness watching his son ... he had wanted to come, do this
Love ... he felt love, pride ... thankful to have a little son
He thought of his mother, two hundred miles away as he sent her photos, video of her grandson playing
Tommy's fingers slipped off the button, the video stopped
Just as his life ... stopped ... life went on in his little son
This grieving mother promised to write, let you know about grief
How it felt to lose a child ... the thoughts through time ... let you know how it always feels
This is one of those times ... it began yesterday with those sea gulls
Flying, here ... there, as if following someone ... I pray they weren't calling them ... home
The sea gulls ... it's the sea gulls that worried me, making me afraid
They are two hundred miles from the ocean ... yet, they've always been here ... strange they ... were there
I sit here, writing out my fears ... grief, pain ... a part of my being human ... a grieving mother
I share it with you, because I promised you ... when otherwise, no one would have ever known
Sea gulls ... I've always loved to draw sea gulls ... watch sea gulls
Yesterday, as I watched them ... I felt afraid ... of the sea gulls; it's those sea gulls that are ... worrying me
This is the last photo taken of Tommy just a short time before he died that fateful evening. He collapsed with 3 blockages to his heart ... no one ever knew. He was only 40 years old. This mother will grieve to her dying day ... though, along the way ... I am finding happiness along the way. I help myself ... if a grieving person doesn't ... it will be almost impossible to 'come back' ... I know this to be true. Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
Photos/poem are both owned by me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ #aka Granny Gee.
#grieving mother #Gloria Faye Brown Bates #loss of a child
We will NEVER forget Tommy!! He was like you are-------a very special person. He loved his mother with his very heart and his children too. He kept his promise to his little son and took him to the beach. Not everyone can always keep that kind of promise but he did. We will never forget Tommy! Love, Ms. Nancy
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