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grief (32) only child (4) Scary (2) Boiled eggs (1) Distrust (1) Don't call me Faye (1) Dying (1) I hate to be called Faye (1) I'm afraid of the dark (1) Middle age woman (1) Pain that reaches the soul.. can't be seen (1) Running (1) Where did my youth go? (1) dying in a beautiful way (1) life is fragile (1) light on my path (1) my son (1)
Saturday, December 1, 2012
I Fell Hard, Very Hard...
I Fell Hard, Very Hard...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
Today we went to Walmart, I got more than I bargained for... 'before' going in. I didn't like what happened... what happened was totally unexpected... and it hurt like... everything. I cried, even.
Skip and I were walking along in the parking lot when I stepped on something uneven. It sent me sprawling out onto the pavement. I fell hard, very hard. So hard, that the ladies coming toward us were frightened, concerned. They came running to us.
By this time, I'm trying to keep my tears inside, not show them to the whole world. I'm really mad, because it hurt like _____, I mean it hurt like _____. Pain makes me feel anger, especially when it's more pain I don't need in my body. Gracious.
Embarassment... made me work fast at getting up. Skip helped me... I would cry later. You know how it is... the first thing you do when you fall.. you look around to see who is looking.
The reason I fell is because of my 'girly' shoes. They were wedge heels... and one needs only a smooth floor to walk on. I saw what made my shoe turn to make me fall. There was a tube of some kind of ointment lying on the pavement.. the little lid was broken... probably from my foot.
I'm glad I was in public... so, I wouldn't use up any of the special words I save up for times like this. I told you that I'm not perfect... I can say a dirty word for times such as this.
Pain makes me feel angry... and it's the kind of anger that is worthy of a few ugly words. I tolerate the pain I have to live with every moment of my life... when any is added... it does something to me. It becomes almost unbearable.
Girly shoes... I love pretty shoes. Sometimes, I get tired of wearing only sneakers. Today when I wore these pretty shoes, Skip was telling me that I might fall... I told him that I wouldn't. I also, told him that I like to wear my pretty shoes, too... I don't like to wear only ... sneakers.
Well... Skip was right, I took a fall. I'm still going to wear my pretty shoes.......... now. I'm sitting here at this moment feeling all the pain... extra pain in my body. Wearing them today wasn't worth all the pain I'm experiencing tonight......
My left shoulder, where I've had surgery for a torn rotator cuff, has been affected by today's fall. My left arm, hand hurt. Also, my left knee is sore, scraped raw from the pavement. I've been experiencing a lot of pain in it, in the past. :))) I'm not complaining, I'm just telling you about it, ha!
Oh, let me not forget to add that my left side hurts, too! Ha! I may as well go on and tell it all... while I'm at it. That was a bad fall, no doubt.
When I move tonight, I groan... I get tears in my eyes. I am hoping very much that it won't hurt so much in the morning... if it does, I may use several of my 'saved up' words. I don't want anyone to be around when, or if, I do.
At this moment I am finding it hard to lift my left arm. Oh well, we all can't walk on smooth floors our whole life. This is what happens when one doesn't. :))) Everything will be all right, I've been through worse... and I did the main thing... I got back up. :)))
'I'm not comfortable with your stability, it's dangerous when an old person falls'..... I'm laughing. That Skip was saying that to me to get a rise out of me!
We just heard a lot of sirens, and lots of traffic on the road near us... I could see red lights. I had stepped outside to the cold ground, almost fell, ha! I stepped on little pebbles with bare feet!
Now, I say a little prayer that whoever is where those lights are ... is going to be all right. I'm going to go warm my bare feet now.
What a day!