Colors As I Go
grief
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only child
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Scary
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Boiled eggs
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Distrust
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Don't call me Faye
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Dying
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I hate to be called Faye
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I'm afraid of the dark
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Middle age woman
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Pain that reaches the soul.. can't be seen
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Running
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Where did my youth go?
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dying in a beautiful way
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life is fragile
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light on my path
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my son
(1)
Friday, November 18, 2011
Little Golden Blonde Haired Boys with Blue Eyes....... I went to run errands this morning and stopped at Walmart. I noticed as I walked around shopping ... little blonde-haired boys with blue eyes sitting in different shopping carts...with their mothers pushing them. It just took me back in time when Tommy was a little blonde-haired boy with his beautiful blue eyes. It seemed today I kept seeing little boys that looked just like him at that age. Sometimes I see big guys that look just like Tommy and I just look so hard trying to see Tommy as he was ... just for a few seconds. He was a big, blonde-haired guy with blue-green eyes and he was so handsome. I was so proud of my son. On Sunday, November 20th.... is Tommy's birthday... he would have been 42 years old. I love you, Son. When I left Walmart I began crying because I miss my son... I realize that I can't bring him back and I've accepted he is gone and all that good stuff one's supposed to do. I do know that even with doing all that..... a mother's love can't just stop and her mind can't just forget her child... because he is gone. I was thinking about Tommy drinking drinks without ice and how his teeth had become sensitive to the cold and I was thinking about a little place that I worried about on his face from working out in the sun years ago... it's strange, I know.......
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