Another One of My Ways of Thinking

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Note: I am sharing here what I wrote on my Facebook Page today.  Another Gloria's Opinon.

I can see ... now ... (when I used to wonder 'how in the world'... ) how in the world was there a civil war where families/friends were divided and pitted against each other.

Friends and family couldn't be like that ... 'hell' yes, they can, they are ... and they pure hate each other ... I think I'm kin to all the haters ... that's what I grew up with. Not only that ... I should be 'at home' with all the Hell-raisers, haters, people who are trying to sabotage their 'friends', family.

I never could be at home with people who hate, divide ... I was always the different one making me the ... outsider ... of my family.

Do you know what's sad? Being an outsider not by choice but, because I didn't want to do bad things to others to be vengeful, 'pay someone's ass back', 'fix their ass', destroy someone and their family ... I didn't want to do drugs, alcohol, engage in sexual adventures with everyone ... the list goes on and on. That automatically made an invisible wall between me and my family my whole life.

There were times in my young life I did try a little to 'be like the ones I loved' ... only to make me more of an outsider ... do you know why? Because ... BECAUSE they ... expected BETTER OF ... ME. I was proud of that when told that. They didn't like me ... liked me less when I tried to 'be like them. Is that crazy or what?

Do you know what? It didn't keep me from loving them with my very, very Heart. I didn't care what they did ... I just loved them so much never judging them ... I even forgave when they stabbed me in the back. I just loved them ... so much. I treated them with such respect, love, caring ... why? Because I didn't think to judge them ... I just loved them ... so 'damn' much.

I don't want to give the impression that because I loved so much, don't care what others do ... that I just went on to forget. I NEVER forget when something ... hurts, affects me in a negative way ... just as in a positive, kind way.

I really am ... a 'bird of a different feather' ... I choose my friends like that ... I have wonderful, unusual friends. Some have been bad, some have been very, very bad ... some are so damn pure ... good, it's pathetic because they give the impression but, they really aren't. Some are so ugly, mean, rude, obnoxious ... dress awful, dress in the very best ... look like hell, look like heaven ... so on, and on, and on. My friends are many colors like me, not only in appearance but, in character.

My friends are colorful characters ... I love colors ... my friends are like the many, wonderful, exotic spices in this whole world ... flavorful, popping with personality ... some hide their personality but, I 'see' it. I look for things in others no one else sees.

Myself ... depending on who I am around ... do I let my personality show. I am different ways with different people ... I am what each makes me feel ... yet, I am the same person. I'm not one way or the other all the time yet ... I am.

I'm always the good, caring, honest person no matter what. I am trustworthy always. So ... when I am with you, around you ... you see what ... you ... pull out of me. You've heard how people say so and so 'brings out the worse ... the best in so and so'.

I dislike being around people I truly don't like ... I smile, am respectful, quiet around them ... but, I notice (I study myself too!) ... I begin to answer, speak in a negative way ... I feel anger, hate. I try not to ... but, for the moment I am not the person I like to be and am. As soon as I'm away from them ... I am alright. 'They bring out the worse in me'.

I grew up thinking all of our country was solid ... all believing in good things. How sadly wrong I was ... and how just 'damn' naive I was. I think I'm related to the 'whole damn world' ... they hate, Hell-raise ... cause strife, division ... they keep all in chaos all the time. They aren't ever what you think they are ... smiling, pretending to get what they want. They get what they want then ... to hell with you.

I was very naive ... I look back at how abused I was, at how I learned how people were at their worse while smiling, pretending to be good people while their hands were sneaking around molesting little children, boys and girls. Then when the adults were off somewhere ... not only their hands were abusing a child.

Why didn't grown-up expose their children to all the wonders of the world ... at how they could be anything they wanted to be ... to just let children know that such things even existed? I never knew ... as a young person ... that I ... could be anything I wanted to be. I was always 'sheltered' ... held back from the things that pulled at me, attracted me ... made to feel ... I wasn't good enough for them ... that only others were. Can you imagine such a feeling? Walking around 'knowing I wasn't good enough' ... looking at the kids 'who were good enough' to do the very things I would have been wonderful at.

I couldn't have a Barbie doll, I couldn't go to the wonderful, special movies to see Cinderella, Seven Dwarfs and such wonderful things ... because I 'wasn't one of those kids who were worthy, good enough'.

I grew up automatically knowing 'who I was' ... and good at recognizing 'who was more worthy than I was' ... until I began maturing. I've never had that feeling again ... and my eyes opened to how people hurt children never knowing they were crushing their spirits.

That's 'why' today ... I am amazed at how smart, wonderful children are now ... so knowledgeable, and well-spoken ... so grown up! I love it! I love listening to children talk. That's the way children should be ... the parents today ... let their children learn everything in the world ... let them know there are wonderful goals to obtain ... the children are growing up with their eyes wide open ... I grew up ... blind. I had to learn the hard way wasting years, valuable time when I could have been doing so many wonderful things.

Getting back ... I can 'see' in TODAY'S TIME ... there are so many FIRST TIMES in how people do (how about these public officials who won't leave their jobs when they are fired? See?)

People are very rude ... they step in line in front of others ... they yell over others when they are speaking ... I won't even begin on our politicians ... these people reflect the state our country is in. Don't even try it with me ... those who want to argue politics, religion ... I don't play that game with anyone ... no one comes out the winner. No one knows better than the other who is right. All I will do is block, delete, and report if necessary. I respect you, you respect me.

How about our weather? Wow ... have you ever seen so many hurricanes that reach here through our time? How about all the awful, awful flooding everywhere? Our weather has gone crazy in areas never known by people today ... scary.

How about how easily policemen are ambushed, killed deliberately? How about the 7 officers shot, one died just lately in South Carolina? For the past year at least ... officers are killed everywhere.

How about the innocent people officers are killing? And ... some because of their color? Oh my. How about invading innocent people's homes only to find out it's the wrong house ... leaving someone is beaten, shot dead, tazed until they have a heart attack ... their dog dead? How do they feel when they realize they ... had the wrong house? Are they like the criminals? Do the officers not care ... go on never thinking what they, the good guys ... have just done?

How about all the school shootings? People gathered at a concert? Churches? How about that! Little children, people that are strangers ... innocent.

How easily people kill now never caring they give up their freedom? How no one expresses remorse anymore when killing all their family, friends, strangers?

I could keep on ..... Look at the faces on the news as they are sitting in a courtroom ... sneers, smiles, contempt ... they just KILLED someone. How about the people who raid the refrigerator just after committing a heinous crime full of blood, gore ... they go eat their victims' food. Probably pouring catsup over everything, never thinking of all the blood they just spilled.

I can 'see' ... everyone has gone beyond the common things we used to know we had to be no matter what. We used to have rules we had better abide by. Now, it's okay to melt down at anything that displeases us in public whether in a cab, airplane, office, supermarket ...

We used to have to be courteous to others ... be polite in public ... open doors (people open doors for me and I do them) ... take moments out of your life to walk over and help someone who needs help ... go out of your way to be kind. Through time I've watched people let go of the door knowing someone was on their heels ... and seeing someone walk into the door. That hurts my Heart.

Remember how your parents 'tore your ass up ' ... if you dared to be ugly out in public?

Parents not punishing children to do right (I don't mean to beat them at all) ... videoes full of such violence played hours on end ... our 'role' models ... rules are broken constantly by people who are rich and expects the world to cater to only them.

There's nothing wrong with breaking a rule when it's deemed okay ... it doesn't hurt a thing ... there are good reasons to do so at times. Remember what I said about you being the only person left ... driving to a stop light ... sitting forever because the light is stuck on red?

I don't know about you ... I'm going to break a rule sometimes in Life ... sometimes there are situations that call for common sense. Do I encourage YOU to break rules? No. You use your mind to decide your own actions. I speak for me. I'm not perfect ... I don't do everything perfectly though I do try to do my best at everything. I try to be the best person all the time ... but Life has a way of twisting at times to bring the worse out of anyone. I'm no exception.

I will say this ... I don't want to kill family, friends ... even enemies in a civil war because they don't believe all I believe in ... like everyone in politics I like, dislike.

I don't want to kill anyone because they aren't the 'right' color ... what color is better than another color? In my artwork ... all my colors are wonderful and only compliment, help all the other colors pop, look beautiful.

My friends are all wonderful colors, flavors ... that's the spice of Life. I was thinking ... none of us had any choice of the color we would be born no more than the choice of being able to walk, or not walk one day. I don't remember any checkboxes before I came into being ... I would have checked the 'Rich' box if there had been any :) Oh! and the 'Perfect' box!

These things are on my mind this morning ... and these are my Gloria Opinions only about them. You form your own. I shape, form my own opinions on all that affects my life ... no matter right or wrong. I do change my mind ... when I learn better. I'm not close-minded ... I keep my eyes, ears open. I study all around me.

I am not an expert on anything ... I write only what I think, feel ... sometimes, I change my mind and think another way. I respect your opinions, you respect mine.

My words, photo owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Photo of me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates, today. 10-05-2018...