Just Rambling On ... Just To Be Writing ... Photos I Found On My Computer

 Note: I just previewed this ... I spaced between paragraphs, yet, there aren't spaces between them on the preview. You might not see paragraphs, either, when I publish this. Just know I'm aware of it!

It has to do with being on the desktop. It will take time, I'll get it right ... so just know. I've forgotten so much all these years, but, it's all coming back fast. There definitely is a difference between using a tablet and a desktop.

I'm so glad to have been there, done that ... so, I'm aware of what to look for, to fix the things I need to.

I am setting up my computer, I came across these photos. It's strange how being back on a desktop is so different from a tablet.

I'm glad I know how to use both. I can sit in front of the window now, type ... look out the window at the weather this fall, winter. I can throw a cozy blanket across my lap when the weather is cold.

I feel excitement ... it has been so long since I've felt real excitement. I had forgotten how much my desktop computer meant to ME.

I remember how I loved to disappear in my own little world of writing ... it was like going into a soundproof room ... not hearing, seeing anything ... my focus solely on writing my thoughts.

I have been remembering lately just how much that meant to ME. I want to write again. Thinking about it ... feels cozy like bundling up in a warm blanket. Sound strange? I describe it just like I feel it

I thought I would have to buy a new desk chair ... a stool for my feet to rest comfortably. Do you know what? It's strange, I already had those things and just didn't ever think about it. I had a very nice, new ... desk chair in my art room that is also,a pantry, too.

I had forgotten it all these years ... things have been folded neatly, placed on the seat ... hiding it. I was thinking the desk chair I have in the living room is very pretty, a color of green I love ...but ... it didn't raise up as high as I would like it to.

The chair in the art room is higher, can be raised to bar stool height. Perfect for standing, doing artwork. I have a table for that if, when I need it. It's been a long time ... I miss everything I somehow, forgot ... stopped doing. Life ...

Oh, there was also, a white stool sitting in there, too! Matches my white desk, computer!

Some time ago, I began getting rid of pieces of dark, old furniture ... I opted for white things, instead. I don't like the darkness, nor dark colors, so ... over time ... I did something about it.

This will be the first winter we can enjoy all being not so dark anymore because of dark pieces of furniture. That's one of the best things I ever did ... mood-wise, it has made such a difference.

Like now ... it's raining, cool. Looking around, it's cheerful inside ... I have the good feeling inside that even if the sunshine isn't out ... looking around helps so much.

I worked hard to make all cheerful, colorful ... I mean it was neat, all that good stuff but ... in my mind it wasn't what I wanted anymore. I think for years since Tommy died ... I closed my eyes to so much.

You do get in another world, grief does affect one, it truly never goes away.

Unless you have someone very close to you, die ... such as your immediate family ... no matter what I say ... you won't ever understand until ... you walk in those shoes, experience it.

I pray you never have to see what it feels like. Let Me tell you through my writing about grief ... I don't want you to experience it. I can give you insight to understand, feel for those you are close to that's on the Grieving Road I travel.

You can come here, read ME ... you can reach out to ME anytime ... but, I'll never bother you. My words can be read, not read ... they'll be in the universe for someone to hopefully gather hope from them, know somehow ... it will be alright.

No, it won't be the same but ... the day does come one can function once again ... live Life again.

The day comes the tears don't flow to the outside as often ... they flow back inside to your very soul. You learn to channel grief differently ... gradually reaching the point you accept what you can't change.

It becomes easy to fool people if you are around them ... all you have to do is smile brightly, make like all is just fine. People need to believe that ... they don't want to see the grieving side of anyone.

As a grieving mother, I know that ... thankfully, I'm not the type of person who cries, grieves in front of people. I don't visit so, that's another plus.

My grief never bothers another person ... if you feel my pain when you read what I write ... just know ... everything is alright. When one writes from their very Heart ... someone can't help but, to feel their words.

I think I'll reposition my desk tomorrow ... this bright idea just came to my mind ... it just might work! I am excited ... I will be able to enjoy looking outside, talk, while looking at Skip, see tv. I want my cake and ... eat it, too!

I hope this gloomy day really wasn't a gloomy day for you. I have a mood therapy lamp I need to set up. Sometimes, it takes time for ME to decide to do things I wonder if it's ME being lazy, I hope not.

I have never been lazy, never. Moods affect all I do ... so, does the weather, gloomy weather isn't the best for ME. I make it alright, though!

For now, I am just writing to be writing. I am seeing what I still need to remember ... learn about my old blog ... desktop. You could say I am just .... rambling on

Happy colors, good things in the upcoming weekend to you!