We All Need New Places To Begin All ... Over Again

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2019!!!

BEFORE PHOTO ...  Gloria Faye Brown Bates ... the years after my son died I didn't recognize this face in the mirror ... I didn't know this woman who had such deep pain in her eyes.  This woman just existed ... she was a mess ... and I know she didn't realize it at the time.  Grief is an awful, awful thing to go through ... it's been 8 years now and I am alright now.

AFTER PHOTO:  Gloria Faye Brown Bates ... December 2018

AFTER PHOTO:  Gloria Faye Brown Bates ... December 2018

AFTER PHOTO:  Gloria Faye Brown Bates ... November 2018

AFTER PHOTO:  Gloria Faye Brown Bates ... September 2018

We All Need New Places To Begin All ... Over Again


January 01, 2019 ... Tuesday
Story/Photos written, owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates


I don't know if you are like me ... I am glad to see the year 2018 end.  Today begins a whole, fresh new year ... we don't look back at what we left behind.

I say that like magically the new year 2019 truly begins life all ... over again.  In our minds, it does.  We all need new places to begin all over again ... something we can measure with. 

I don't even want to look back at the past year.  I don't look at several people the same anymore ... that's really, really sad.  I began to see, hear true colors, lies from all of them.  I knew it was there but, when you are supposed to be very good friends there shouldn't be deceit, dishonesty, lies.  The truth is the truth.

I have entered 2019 so far without revealing to one that I know how deceitful, dishonest they are.  I'll save that until the right time when I can say it kindly, gently.  The last time I spoke frankly ... I was told I was rude, harsh.  When someone accuses me of something I instantly take a close look at myself.  Do you know what?  That person was right.

I was rude, harsh and should have been gentler in choice of words (no ugly words were used ... I spoke straight to the point). There are ways to say what hurts one without being so blunt.  I was too blunt.  I should have rephrased all in softer words to the person I said them to.  It's true, I should have.  I apologized for the way I spoke my words.  I am truly, sincerely sorry ... I spoke so bluntly. 

I have to say this in all honesty ... to this day there hasn't been an apology back for what was done to Skip and I.  No mention of 'what' that caused such deep pain.  My words ... my pain reflected, influenced my blunt words.  Their actions hurt not just me.  We never asked for any of it.  None of it matters now ... it's all left in 2018.

I closed the door on that permanently ... because when others don't own what they did ... speak up, apologize as I did ... I don't want them in my life.  I won't have them in my life.  Lies to me ... turn me completely against someone instantly ... there's no ifs, ands.  I don't play games with people's emotions and I sure don't let anyone get by ... playing on mine ... especially when trying to deceive me.

This is something the last chapter has been written for ... the end of that story.  The End.  That's left in the year ... 2018.  No more.

There are a few more chapters that will be the last chapters written in my life ... and I look forward to writing The End on them.

What better than beginning all over again ... a new year.  Now, I can look back to where I began easily ... measure throughout the year how far I've come.  You can too.  We have to, need to make progress in our lives and not live in the past.  That's the worse place to live.  Look back if you must ... but, keep those feet moving forward.

This is my way of thinking.  I don't know about you ... but I think you will agree with some of what I've written.  If not ... that's good, also.  We all don't think alike.

I hope to write each day of the new year.  I haven't written a lot in the past two years.  My, my ... so much has happened in our lives and we were so busy living real life ... real life that I write about.

I can say I entered the New Year 2019 having lost most all the weight I gained since losing my son in 2010.  I don't look the same anymore ... I look like I did years ago before.  Of course, I'm a little older ... that's Life.

I can smile at myself looking in the mirror now because ... 'there's ME' reflecting back out at me.  I'm so thankful, glad I recognize myself again.  No one would believe the gratitude I have in my Heart to have lost all that weight.  It's humbling.  It could as well ... not happened.  Anyone can tell you that losing weight is one of the hardest things to accomplish.

I sincerely wish all my Readers and Followers, Social Media Friends the most wonderful Year 2019.  We made it ... we made it into the New Year!


Author's Note:

I'm so thankful to enter the year 2019 with most all the weight gone I needed to lose.  I can focus on other important things without that keeping me in mental turmoil. 

Weight gain in my Life is one of the most awful things I dealt with when my son died. When I looked in the mirror at myself ... that wasn't me.  I couldn't draw any comfort from the woman who stared back at me.

I will write later about experiences I've had since losing weight.  Anyone who has done the same will identify with me ... because I know they've experienced such.

Some people don't acknowledge me now ... they liked a heavy-set Gloria I had become ... before that they acted the same way when I was small ... as they do now.  I'm sure not anyone for another female to be jealous of at all.  I'm just grateful to see, recognize Me again.  Hello Me, welcome back!!! I know you! :) <3