No Matter The Pain In Your Heart... Everything's Going To Be Alright

No Matter The Pain In Your Heart... Everything's Going To Be Alright

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee 



Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee..........   2013



Tears unshed... pain unseen

A smile covers it all

Covers it all... like sunshine glowing



Look into her eyes, she won't let you see

What's really in her heart

She knows how to hide it all



Many years have taught her how

To say all the right things

Not show her pain, weakness



No one wants to know... anyway

They carry pain, heartache of their own

We each live in a different world... side by side



Only inches from each other... our worlds aren't the same

Her world is hell... his world is heaven

No one knows what the other goes through



Unless... someone tells; we don't because no one wants to know

Who wants to hear someone complain, cry

The ones who are quiet are the ones who are noticed



When things are real... people are quiet

People who protest too much... are the loudest

Usually... aren't the ones who really suffer



The quiet ones don't have to say anything

They know it doesn't change a thing

What made them sad... has to be accepted



You know the old sayings about if you can't change something

Learn acceptance... go forward, while letting go

You just as well laugh... as to cry



Smile the brightest... show no pain

Let the world see your sunshine smile

Let them see... somehow... everything really can be alright



Be a beacon, a lighthouse... near the ocean

Guiding ships to safety from the rocky shore

Comforting... everything's going to be alright



Sail your ship forward into the setting sun

With a smile on your face

No matter the pain in your heart... everything's going to be alright
　

　

I've Never Been Afraid... Since

Submitted by grannygee on January 29th, 2014
Category: Personal

 

 

I've Never Been Afraid ... Since
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee


I went missing as a girl of fifteen
No one knew where I went
I was the only one who knew where I was

I ran away to escape
Ran away hoping to find happiness
I found pain, grief... instead

Years went by... I found I couldn't go back
I had become older...
I was no longer a child

I had to fend for myself
I couldn't be a little girl again
I would have went back to the hell I come from

At least... I knew what to expect
The world became a bigger place
I soon grew strong enough to explore

I soon, became a woman
Met the love of my life
I've never been afraid... since

One Never Knows... It Could Be The Road To... Hell

One Never Knows... It Could Be The Road To... Hell
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee... 2013

Can you imagine... someone cutting a heart out of a body?  Cutting a leg off, sewing it into the place of an arm... onto a person's body? An arm sewed into the place of a leg?

No one knows if this is happening ... somewhere in the world.  Have you ever thought about all the little lanes, roads you pass on your way home, on the way to town... wondered... 'what's down them?'

Maybe you drive by them, never noticing them... wondering what's at the end?  Could it be an old, abandoned house ... where someone is doing... 'God knows what'....

Think about it... have you ever wondered if roads, lanes lead to ... missing people?  I have... I just don't have the nerve to go down a road, path... not knowing what I will find.  Do you?

I remember years ago, going down a path while living in Florida... I was fascinated by the orange trees... wanted to drive among them.

It's a wonder I got to come back out of that path... I knew something was wrong when I got to the end.... sinister-looking Cuban men were standing there watching me as I drove up.  I could hear chickens making noises... I didn't know anything about cock-fighting, then.....

I felt fear... I had nowhere to go but, drive up to them... so, I could turn around.  I put on my brightest smile as I stopped... I began telling them I was trying to find someone's address... and was lost.  I had no choice but, to follow the road once I got on it.

I saw the men change expressions... their eyes hard... dangerous.  I still smiled at them... thankfully, they told me I could turn around... which way they thought I should go.  As I turned around, drove past them... I was so thankful to be going out of that road.  When I reached the highway... I breathed a sigh of relief.

I vowed 'never to go down an unknown road again'.  This is how people... go missing.  Later in time, as I grew older... understood more... I realized how fortunate I was... I knew I had stumbled into a world I didn't want to know... a scary world.

Strange how the 'big picture' unfolds later into life.  Strange... how the dots... connect.  It made me notice all the ...unknown roads, lanes I go by every day.  I wonder what's down them... could it be where some serial murderer has his hiding place... to cut someone's heart out... beat, rape someone... cut their legs, arms off?

I bet you'll pay attention to all the unknown roads, paths you pass by every day... 'now'.  One never knows... it could be the road to ... Hell.

Navy Beans... Cornbread and Sweet Tea

Navy Beans... Cornbread and Sweet Tea
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

My beautiful mother, Earlene... and my special Grandma Alma

 

 

My beautiful mother, Earlene... I always wanted to be as beautiful as her.

 

　


My beautiful mother, and her sister came to 'rescue' me from my stepmother, and father's house. Rescue me, they did. They would have fought her, if necessary.

They did fight... with words. While they did, I went inside to get my things. My stepmother, father had done the ultimate to me... she had caused him to hit me in the face for the first... last time he ever struck me.

All because of lies... one of my sisters used my father's razor, put it back uncleaned... they all pointed fingers at me... knowing I'd take the blame, they would stay out of trouble. I did things like that to be a 'big sister'... to be loved by them.

My stepmother loved it... she had real ammunition to make me look bad once again. Didn't my sisters say that I had used my father's razor... it had to be so. Truthfully, I never went into my stepmother and father's bedroom, nor their bathroom... I don't know what his razor looked like... even today. I didn't do it.

Like water flowing under the bridge ... life went on. I was fifteen, and I was very glad to see my mother. I was so proud she was my mom... she was beautiful. She looked like Elizabeth Taylor. Men loved her... she was the prettiest woman around... everyone always said so. People who knew her... say it now.

My mother really tried to be a good mother... there were times she couldn't be. That's another story... this one is about a favorite lunch she would make for me.

Life settled down into a routine. I began school; I walked to school. We lived in town. I began walking home at lunch time to eat. My mother would have the best lunches... sometimes, there would be goulash. I wish I knew that recipe now... something that was made with Campbell's soup, mustard, hamburger. Oh my, it was wonderful.

She'd make me sandwiches, sometimes... banana sandwiches. Her sandwiches always tasted best... even to this day. Mamas have a special way of preparing food... no one else can do it like they can.

My favorite lunch coming home at noon... was navy beans, and the little cakes of cornbread she'd fried, and sweet tea. I loved the taste of the navy beans, and in that period of time... that's the only time I ever ate cornbread. We would cut the little cakes in half, put a pat of butter in it. It was the best cornbread... I've ever eaten... in my life.

The navy beans were out of this world. Rarely, have I eaten them throughout the years... I don't cook them. The ones I've ordered with a meal never tasted like my mother's. The ones I did try to cook... in no way was like my mother's.

I was sitting here thinking about my beautiful mother... and the good foods she cooked. One favorite being navy beans, fried cornbread and... sweet tea.

Unnoticed... By Anyone

Artwork by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee...


Unnoticed... By Anyone
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee



On a hilltop a little flower grew
Unnoticed by anyone... no one ever came there
It weathered every storm that came a long


The little flower never knew its beauty
Nor ever knew its strength... it just was
A little flower growing there, on the hilltop


Sometimes, it was beaten down by hail, wind, rain
It would bounce back up... unnoticed by anyone
The little flower never knew how special it was...


A lot of flowers would have given up
Laid down, died on the ground it grew upon
Unnoticed... by anyone


This little flower was a determined little flower
It knew enough to want to survive every storm
Live, it was going to... no matter what


It lived to soak up the warm sunshine, rain
It blossomed into pure beauty
As it grew there on the hilltop... unnoticed by anyone

That Piece Of Cardboard Is Getting In The Way...

That Piece Of Cardboard Is Getting In The Way...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

My precious son, Tommy... I miss you with my Heart.. I miss my precious grandson, Taban...  It seems I can't ever become ... used to you being gone; used to the pain, grief.  It never goes away.  Grief for the loss of your child... isn't like anything you've ever experienced.  I cry for Tommy....



This morning... someone wanted to be friends with me on Facebook. Someone from the past... the past when Tommy was younger, and engaged to her. They broke up...

Of course, I accepted her... she's a link to my son from a long time ago. She loved him at one time. She was a real part of my son's life... I have no one else who was.

The strange thing was... I sat here at my computer, and I began to cry silently. I haven't done that for a while. I was wondering 'why'...

I felt such grief in my heart for my son. I remembered the break-up; something I haven't thought about in years. I remember he was devastated... for a time, I was afraid for him. He was young, and he really loved this girl. Eventually... all became okay.

I think 'why' I cried is because 'something linked to Tommy' meant the world to me. I think I was glad she reached out... no one else linked to Tommy reaches out like that. That made her special... she didn't have to.

It's strange... how grief instantly came over me as memories began to resurface. I don't think I'll ever quit crying over the loss of my son. When I say cry... I don't mean crying out loud, sobbing wildly. When I cry... it's deep, silent. No one would notice if they didn't see my eyes.

I find myself trying to 'block' each time I try to think back... see my son in my mind. It's like a reporter with a camera trying to video something... and someone puts a piece of cardboard in front of his camera to 'block' his vision.

Blocking is protection .... to prevent more grief, more pain. It's always there... it has to be. I would go to pieces if my mind didn't 'block' it all. I would upset Skip with my grief... he can't bear to see me cry, hurt... I don't like to hurt him.

Only The Pups... see my grief now. Each one will take turns coming to me, to love me. Their eyes look sad for me... making me pet them for caring so much... reassuring them that I'm okay.

I notice that I am being 'careful' tonight while writing... that piece of cardboard is getting in the way.

Post-Thoracotomy Syndrome... 'Forever Pain'

Post Thoracotomy Syndrome...  'Forever Pain'
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee



Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee... 2013



　
Do you know someone who has had a thoracotomy surgery?  How about 2 thoracotomy surgeries in one year?  If you aren't familiar with thoracotomy surgery... Google it.  Normally... if someone has this surgery, it's one surgery... not two.


I had two... one on July 12, 1998... the second one on July 16, 1999.  I was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma.  A big mass was discovered on my right lung, resting against my heart.  This was the first thoracotomy... a rib was removed... the first surgery began the pain I suffer with today.


The second thoracotomy was done when it was discovered I had non-Hodgkins lymphoma in my left lung.  A small portion of my lung was removed... this intensified the pain I suffer with still today.


Nerves are severed... the sad thing is... they can't ever be 'put back together again'.  Pain becomes what I call 'forever pain'...  I remember losing hope when I asked a long time ago... if 'it could be fixed'.  The doctor told me... 'unfortunately, no'.


So you will know... I'm thankful to have this terrible pain.  Did I sound crazy saying this?  If I didn't suffer with this pain... it means I wouldn't be living.  It's my trade-off to live...  I want to live... I love life... no matter how painful it is.  :)))  Not only is the pain my 'trade-off' to live... my heart was damaged from a chemotherapy drug called 'adriamycin'.  It's okay... I was near death... all helped me to survive.  Skip helped me to live...


Through the years, I've had more surgeries... all added to the pain I suffer with.  Old injuries now, haunt me with... pain.  Not only physical pain, I have suffered a lot of pain... mentally.  So many 'bad' things have happened in my life... so much more than for the average person.  Life is like that sometimes... I am stronger for it.  The good thing is... I've never become bitter.  I've tried to learn all I can from all that's happened in my life.


If you, or anyone have caused me extra pain, grief through time... I've forgiven you for it.  It's not my nature to hold grudges... though, in all honesty... I do feel lots of anger.  That's my nature... to be angry.  I think I was born angry.  I've known it all my life... I've battled it all my life for as long as I can remember.


But... I'm not a 'bad' angry.  Does that make sense?  I don't feel the need to strike out, hurt others.  I'm just 'mad'.... until I finally cope with it... put it away.  I want to forgive... and go on; not look back... let it go.


Pain is my closest companion... I know it well.  Sometimes, when it's bad... I am very angry.  I don't realize it until... I become aware of myself.  I'm not proud of it... sometimes, I'm sharp with others when I am in great pain.  If I become aware of it in time... I stop myself, apologize.  I can say 'I'm so sorry'.


Only someone who lives in such pain can understand what I'm speaking of.  If you have been so fortunate to never suffer... you won't know what I'm talking about.  That's good... that means you haven't had to suffer.  I'm so, so glad for you.


This month, after 16 years of coping with the pain on my own... suffering, not wanting to take medicines other than what I have to have.... I have finally asked for relief.  I can't believe 16 years have passed... I can't believe 3 years have passed since Tommy died....


I've never wanted to take pain medicines... I have suffered more than I could ever tell you in my words.  I don't complain, I don't talk about it very often... it's a part of me, just as the air I breathe.  It'll be there until the day I die...


The good thing is... I have medicine that I can take when I choose to.  I have a second medicine I will take in low dosage for this type of pain.  I feel hope for the first time since the thoracotomy surgeries.  I've actually felt 'happy, excited'... to know how it'll feel to go through a day without pain.  I haven't experienced it, yet.  I hope to, soon.  I can't imagine... I just can't imagine.  :)))


Why have I chosen to punish myself all these years?  I don't think I realized it possible to get medicines to help me... unless they were narcotics.  I don't want to take them...
I have grown up with the grief, physical and mental pain inflicted upon me from 'family' on drugs, alcohol... It affected me in such a way, that I've suffered greatly all these years.  It's a wonder I'm not .... 'crazy as hell'.  :)))  I'm not... but, I'm very strong.


Not only that, many 'family' members are gone now... people I loved with my very heart.  They all had 'problems'... I can't tell you the grief in my heart ... these were the very closest family members I loved dearly from a child up...


I will say when my son died from blockages in his heart... it was the worse pain I've ever known... nothing I've ever experienced compared to when he died.  I'm so glad I got to see him the evening before... I still see his smile in my mind.  The pain... oh my, just the pain alone from his death.....


I don't think a lot of people are familiar with 'post thoracotomy syndrome'.  I hope this will bring awareness of such... hopefully, if someone you know is suffering from it... know it really is... horrible.  I haven't went into 'how horrible'... one can Google for more information.


I think I wrote this because for the first time... I am smiling, my heart is full of hope, excitement ... I might get to feel 'pain-free' days in the near future.  I really can't imagine such... but, I'm looking forward.  I smile most of the time... can you imagine my smile being like the sunshine?  Why, I'll shine so much... I might glow at night.  A soft, happy, golden glow... so, if you see such at night... it could be... me.  :))))


Oh!  I told you... I wasn't perfect.
　
　
　

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny ... 2013

This Granny Gee Is An Old... Baby Girl, Too

Submitted by grannygee on January 23rd, 2014....

This Granny Gee Is An Old... Baby Girl, Too By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Yes... I know. I just wrote a short story about... Baby Girl. It was my way to write about something special... the people are real, and it's true... there's another 'Baby Girl' in town. The story was fiction. The 'people' are Skip and I....


I'm an old Baby Girl... I've been Baby Girl for 31 years. Skip has called me that for many years. It's a special name.... he also, calls me 'Monst... Monster'. :))) I'm not a ...monster, though ...I could be.


One of our most favorite shows on television is... Criminal Minds. We 'pure love' that show... love every character on it. It's amazing what the writer of that show comes up with... brilliant!


I missed my calling many years ago. I never wrote such things I've thought up for stories... because it would horrify my readers... they might think I am crazy... or wouldn't believe such... would come from 'me'. Guess what? 'Such things'.... might come from me ... yet.


When I mention to Skip about writing 'my scariest story' ever... he always says, "what will your readers think of 'Granny Gee'... writing stories like that"? He doesn't want anyone to 'think less of me'....


I tell him that 'Granny Gee' is a for-real good person... my readers know that. They also, know I'm 'not perfect'... just because I go by 'Granny Gee'... doesn't mean I am some little 'perfect granny' who'd never do this, or do that... because it's not proper. You know... like slurp coffee from a saucer! Ha! I don't slurp... but, that's an example (oh, I don't drink it out of a saucer either... and I don't knock it... if you do! :)))


A lot of you know that I am 'Granny Gee' ... in name only. I never see my grandchildren... it's wrong I know... but... I have 'let go' for my own sanity. One mother has to keep covering up what she's done... when you tell one lie... many more follow through time to hide a bad decision/decisions. That's how the 'other mother' doesn't find out what she really did.


Enough of that... I've come to find out that she used me to tell her lies... so, the other mother wouldn't know what happened to a lot of money my son's other grandchild should get. I'm afraid that grandchild will never see that money.


You all know... it's the 'same old story'... when a person gets a lot of money when they've never had such in their life... they 'go crazy'. So many people have done it through history. It's sad, but... true.


The saddest is in this particular situation... is that I've been told by someone close to one of the mothers... that she has used my name in it... to make it appear I have the other grandchild's money.


The good thing is that there are records of 'where the money went'... not only that... 'who' all that money went to. I don't worry about it... my grandchildren will be smart enough to 'follow a paper trail'... they are 'like their father, grandmother'... they'll recognize the truth... when they actually are old enough to see it... to hear it... to read it.


The saddest is that she 'forever broke a grandmother's bond with not one grandchild, but... two grandchildren'. My son, Tommy, was the only child I ever had... I have no more close family. This mother took that away from me.


All the years I prayed for grandchildren, never thinking I would really have them... (I always wondered 'could something so special happen to 'me'? Could I get to be a grandmother... a real grandmother?) ...she took it all away from me to hide the 'bad' things she did.


Who would have ever known? Who would have ever known my son would die? Who would have ever known it would leave such money to someone to have fun on, buy friends with... men who didn't treat a child right... my son's child?


Who would have ever known such greed, lies that had to be covered up... would forever sever the bonds between a grandmother, grandchildren? Who would have known .... during the precious childhood years... a grandmother would never know how it felt to be a ... real grandmother? Something that meant the very world to her... more-so, after her own child died... they were the only link to her own child... a part of herself. It's unforgiveable....


Sex, money, drugs... good times. I wonder if it was 'worth' what was done? Some people, I guess it would be... they/she had some good times, and bought some good friends for a while.
Now... I should hate her guts, right? No, I don't hate her at all. That's not to say that when I became aware of what she did... I didn't hate her for a time... until I came to terms with it. The unforgiveable... became forgivable.


Truthfully... no matter what she did... she's a for-real good person... for some time... she wasn't the person anyone knew. Money changes people... makes them do bad things. If people love you 'afterwards'... those are the people who loved you... for-real, 'before'. I still... love her.


I was in grief for the loss of my child... so, it took quite some time to find out all she did... said. There are several people whom both are unaware of... who know both mothers... who let me know 'things'.


I just wrote this... no one needs to comment on it. In fact, I won't answer any comments on this ever again. I'm documenting so, when I'm gone... my grandchildren will find my words. So... when you comment... it will need to be on something else. :)))
This is one of the reasons I write... to document 'me'... Granny Gee. My son's not here to let my grandchildren know about me... they will read one day to know their Granny Gee.


When I write about this... it's for my grandchildren to read when they are older. I have no one else to tell them that their Granny Gee loved them all through time... wanted to know them... wanted with her very heart to be 'Granny Gee' to them. Not only that... their Granny Gee never did anything to hurt them... never.


My son named me 'Granny Gee'... that's 'why' I go by Granny Gee. I am still myself... a good person... but, I can be a 'mean girl', too. I am high-tempered; I always work to have patience, to control my temper... my tongue. It's mighty hard work... especially when I came from Hell as a little girl... it's in me. I do pretty good, though. :)))


Oh... it's a wonder I don't spit fire, brimstone. Hell rages inside me all the time... just like a furnace that burns hot, fierce. Anger fuels that Hell... anger at the 'bad' things in the world... the unfair things in the world. The dishonesty, deceit, the harm people do to others and to animals.


I'm full of... Hell. If I was more than human... I would 'straighten the world out'. As a young person, I thought I could 'save the world'.... it can't be done. Sad, but... true. One thing, though... one can make a little difference in their immediate life around them during their life... while they live.


So, don't think because I'm Granny Gee... that I'm not a real person. I am as real as they come. Like me... or not. Hell, and... all.


I will hold my ground in a minute... I don't take a lot of mess. I'll ... smile quietly... as long as I can...


I am the nicest person in the world. I am the best friend because I'm very private... I don't go around betraying my 'very few' friends... I am loyal. I'm dependable... I'm fair. I'm bad when I ... have to be. I try to be only 'bad enough'... according to a situation.


It's taken many hard lessons, terrible paths ... experiences in my life to be a really good person. I could have been just as bad... as I am ...good. I'm happy because I love 'good' in life. I believe in good things... no matter how bad life has been.


If you like me... you like me. If you don't... you don't. Life goes on... you can go on. I don't waste my time trying to buy you, or beg you... to be my friend. I'm 'upfront'... you know where I stand. I'm probably the most honest person you'll ever meet. If I can't be... I'll leave quietly.... if you aren't... then, you... go along your way... I don't want to waste my time with you. You'll never be my friend...


People don't like me because I 'see the real them'. Most of the time, I smile sweetly... and yes, I pretend... I pretend that I 'don't see them'. That's when people don't like me anymore... rather, when ... dishonest people who 'have something up their sleeve'... don't like me anymore. I dislike when people deceive others to get something from them... I dislike unfairness... I dislike when people pretend to be something they never was.


I give if I don't have. If I have a lot... I give a lot. I give when something good happens to me... I 'pass on good things', and tell someone to do the same when something good... happens to them. I 'pure love' to give. I 'pure love'... to make others happy, to make a dream come true.


I even give when I don't have something to give. I give when no asks me... and I 'see' it's needed. I don't give when someone ... tries to take advantage of me.


I would dearly love to be a millionaire in secret... because I'm the kind of person who listens, sees what others dont' see, hear. I see what goes on in the background, where it wouldn't interest others. I would make good things happen...


I'm my own most ... best friend. I like me... even when I have to 'fuss myself out'... I am always trying to understand 'why' if I do something I'm not happy with.


When I die... I will go quietly out of the world... as quietly as I've lived... and as private. I don't want anyone to come to see me in death... you don't come to watch me sleep... death is more... private. I'm most... private. Don't come to look at me in death... Skip knows my wishes... no viewing.


I have always had an overactive imagination.... and from the time I was a little girl... I have dreamed many things. I wish I had known to write as a child. Where I come from... no one taught a child... anything. What I learned as a little girl... was something that would follow me my entire life... pain, grief... loss of.


It's 'damn' sad... when children are so bright, so intelligent..... and no one sees it, if they did... they didn't care. They wanted to have fun.... if you are a young mother, father reading this... begin asking yourself this... am I 'putting fun in front of my precious child'?


You see... the fun will be gone quickly... your child will miss out on so much you could have taught it... during that time.


Yeah, yeah... I know. We are all young at one time... we all do our thing to 'find ourselves'. We do it all at the expense of little, innocent children. They suffer while we are 'seeking'.... I'm no exception. We know so much when we are young... only to grow older learning... 'we didn't know a damn thing'.


That causes a child to miss out on learning about the wonderful things in life at an early age. Today, many children get every opportunity in the world to learn... I'm sometimes... envious. Today... young children are appreciated... and I love listening to a small child. They are so smart... and as an adult, I want to listen.


I'm fascinated, amazed at the knowledge at such an early age. I remember 'knowing so much' at an early age... but, was told, 'children are meant to be seen... not heard'.


I grieve over all I could have learned at an early age... if only exposed to it. I call it 'wasting valuable time'... when parents aren't taught anything... they have nothing to pass on to their children.


I'm glad I finished school, went to community college (when I wished to go to a ... big college). I have had many experiences in life that anyone who knows me... doesn't know. 'Why' would I tell them? Because... I never share with anyone a lot of things in my life... many things will 'go to my grave' with me.


It's ...my way. I'm very private. I don't even feel the need to 'brag' about the 'great' things in my life... I'm so used to keeping things to myself. Remember how you always 'brag' about this or that happening? I forget ... and when someone reminds me... I smile, say 'oh, yes'!


When I'm sick... I 'forget' how sick I am... I 'forget' I have this wrong, that wrong with me. I don't dwell on things long... too many things to think about. Maybe that's 'why'... I'm still here. I can't say that about when my son died... I was in a darkness I couldn't escape. I only saw, felt... death.


Colors make me happy. Good things happening to people, animals make me very, very happy... touch my heart. I love to watch 'people walk into the sunset happily ever after'. I love 'fairy tale' endings... 'they lived happily ever after'. I love happy things... exciting, fun things. I love to smile... I smile when I cry. I smile when I'm dying on the inside... I wonder 'why'? I smile even when I'm angry...


What you've just read is about this Granny Gee... who is a real ... old Baby Girl, too. :))) Just saying.................

Baby Girl...

Baby Girl...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee



Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee ...2013


The elderly woman sat in a soft, upholstered chair, rocking gently... back, forward... back, forward.


The nurse noticed the expression on the woman's face. She wondered why the woman had such a sweet smile on her face... her eyes had the softest, loving expression in them. She's thinking about someone special, the nurse thought...


On the television, the show Criminal Minds, was on. Morgan had just called the blonde-headed woman 'Baby Girl'. He was always calling her that name. Each time he said Baby Girl... the elderly woman had a reaction to it...


She would smile so sweetly, her eyes would glow with such love. It touched the nurse's heart to watch her. I wonder why she smiles like that... why she has a reaction when Morgan called his friend... Baby Girl?


The nurse decided to stay unnoticed for a few minutes... watch the woman to hopefully see some clue to 'why?'.... the woman's reaction when the name Baby Girl was said.


She heard the name again on the television... saw the woman's lips smile sweetly once again. The smile reached her eyes... letting the nurse see that once this woman was beautiful... now, she was a faded rose.. porcelain pink complexion, leaf-green colored eyes. She had aged well, considering all her body, mind had suffered through the years.


Very few lines were on her face... her hair was still soft, curly, long. The elderly woman loved her hair... she fluffed it constantly with her small hands.


She began rock... her eyes closed. The nurse watched as a teardrop began to roll down her cheek. She heard the woman begin to cry ... her shoulders began to shake.


The nurse walked over to the elderly woman, placed her hand on the woman's shoulder. "I'm here, if you need me"... she told the woman.


The woman opened her eyes, looked up at the nurse, smiled at her. "Thank-you... I'm so happy today... I have missed my husband... he calls me Baby Girl".


The nurse asked her if her husband was deceased... the elderly woman told her, "No, he'll soon be here... I'll be so happy to see him... I go home today".


The nurse knew it was time for the woman to go home. She'd made good progress in getting back on her feet after a serious fall. She heard a sound behind her... she turned to see a tall, elderly man standing in the doorway.


She saw the sweetest smile on his face, his eyes full of love. She heard him say, "Are you ready to go home... Baby Girl"?

It Hurts So Bad... But, It's A 'Good' Thing, Too

It Hurts So Bad... But, It's A 'Good' Thing, Too
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee... 2013

　


I have been at the doctor's office for half of today... and waited in the pharmacy for a good while... to get medicine. Now, why am I telling you about this?

Well, I have been thinking about something. I'm betting that there are many people who read my stories, who can identify with me when it comes to ... having to live with pain ... for the rest of your lives.

Ever since being a little girl from the age of nine, I have lived with some form of pain, be it physical... mental... and after many surgeries... chronic pain.

Before I go any further... let me tell you this 'just so you will know'... you won't ever hear me complain because of the pain in my body. You may see tears in my eyes, see the strain in my face... I won't let you hear me cry. It's rare... I show my weaknesses to anyone.

Why won't I complain about pain? Because... truthfully, I'm so fortunate that I can feel it. I remind myself of this often... I'm lucky I can feel pain. I'm thankful when it isn't so bad that I can't hardly bear it... lately, it's been more than I can bear... because of the 'extra' pain in my body. Sometimes... that happens.

Feeling pain reminds me that I'm so lucky to be alive. The surgeries saved my very life... I was almost gone when the first one was performed on me.

I have 'forever' pain from two thoracotomy surgeries... normally, if a person has one of them... they only go through one. I went through two... thoracotomy surgeries... in one year. Oh my... you can't imagine the pain from them... it's been twelve years now. Nerves are severed... there's no 'fixing them not to hurt'... one has to resign themselves to the pain.

Not only that... a rib was removed during that surgery. That is awful pain, afterwards... That happened to me... and in one of the surgeries, a portion of lung was removed. The first surgery, a large mass was removed from the other lung... it was resting on my heart.

Cancer... Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. I was diagnosed with it in 1998... my life, my body changed. Guess what? This is something I never forget... I'm so happy to be here... I love life. Pain or not... limitations in what I can do... it's okay. I'm here. :))) I will cope with it... cry or not. You won't know I cry... unless you see my eyes.

I don't complain... in fact, all these years I've never asked for medicines to help me with the pain. I am proud of that in a way... but, I've dearly paid for it... I have suffered like no one would believe. Doctors, nurses ... understand why... I told them. It's hard for me to ask for... or take medicines for ... pain.

It stems from childhood when I would stand in my Grandma Alma's bedroom... she had a little table beside her bed in front of the window. I can still see it in my mind... feel the fear I felt when I would stand there as a little girl... looking at ... all those bottles. All those bottles... why, she would ... die ... if she didn't have all that medicine. My Grandma Alma was very sick...

I remember as I stood there, looking at all those little brown bottles, some blue... each with their white caps... I promised myself 'when I grew up, I was not going to take a lot of medicines like that'. So, far... I've succeeded in keeping the promise of that little girl I was at one time. I would cease taking a medicine as soon as I knew I didn't need it anymore.

I would tell myself that if I depended on so many medicines... and 'something happened'... and I couldn't get them, I would die. I would feel fear that my whole life would depend on all those little bottles to survive. Now... when disasters 'really happen'... I worry for the thousands of people who 'for-real' have to worry about their medicines... because 'something bad really happens now'.... floods, terrible storms, hurricanes, earthquakes, tsunamis....

　

If I didn't feel a medicine was 'good for me'... I would give it one week... never take it again... if 'it didn't feel right'. My 'Gloria Opinion' is for 'me, only'... if I don't use judgement to help take care of myself, too... then, something bad will happen. Doctors are wonderful, save lives... but, there are some who are not up to par as they should be. You be your own judge of what you do... I don't suggest you doing what I do... I am writing about myself.

For example, about 5 years ago... my allergies were giving me a fit. I decided to go to a doctor I'd never been to. I was tested for allergies, already knowing what I was allergic to... I was hoping to get medicine to help me not to suffer so. It was not to be...

That doctor looked me straight in the eyes, told me something shocking... he said I had asthma. I looked back at him, asked him was he sure... he said 'yes'. He put me on an inhaler... sure enough, I became 'sicker', felt like I had asthma. I began over the next week or so, to have panic attacks. I couldn't breathe...

Thankfully, Skip took me to 'our' hospital in Raleigh... and my cardiologist was close by... he came by the ER, and asked me, 'what in the hell are you doing in here'? Just several weeks prior, I had been to him... and I was on 'even keel'...

Skip told him about the doctor I'd gone to... I was admitted to the hospital that night. The next day, I was tested thoroughly to find out... that doctor misdiagnosed me! I did... not have asthma. I 'knew' I didn't ... I had been in and out of the hospital, going through so many tests... someone would have found it ...if I had it.

When I got out of the hospital, I was okay. The medicine was thrown away... I never went back to that doctor. I never got medicine to help my allergies.

I was told that 'unfortunately... there are 'bad' doctors, too... who will do what that particular doctor did... to gain patients. I knew that, too... but, I still got caught up in it. I worked in a hospital... and saw, heard many things... I should have known better.

Oh... 'I've never had 'asthma' ... since. I do suffer from allergies... still. That's okay... at least, I'm not taking unnecessary medicine that would eventually harm me. One has to pay attention to their own medical conditions.... read, read, read... ask questions.

Learn what to ask... know the names, how to spell every medicine you take. Know what your medicines are for... pay attention to how they make you feel... if it doesn't feel 'right'... talk to your doctor. Sometimes, one has to go... to another doctor.

Truthfully, I know... I bet you know people who have taken a 'shoebox of medicines' for years.

Even when they didn't have the medical condition anymore... they still took the medicine originally given for it... just kept adding bottle after bottle of different medicines through the years to their 'shoebox'... until there were many bottles.

You hear people, just as I do, say... "I take 15 different medicines... I take 18 medicines in a day"....

I'm not a doctor, so... you can only read my story... maybe it'll help you to 'arm yourself with knowledge'... begin to ask questions... maybe ... change doctors until you find one you are comfortable with.

You see on the news about 'bad' cops, lawyers, judges, nurses, doctors..... just because someone is labeled 'cop, lawyer, judge, nurse'... so on.... doesn't mean they are perfect. When we were little... we were brought up to almost believe they are 'Gods'...

We all know 'good' people who 'really are bad'.... just as we know people who are really good. One has to pay attention when it... touches your life, your loved ones' lives. Just because 'someone is something'... doesn't mean ... 'they are a good something'....

The doctor asked me this morning 'why did I let myself wait so long to come when I could come ...get relief from the pain'? I looked at him and told him, it's a 'childhood thing'... also, that really I just didn't know 'why?'

I've been fussed at by doctors/nurses... through time for being like this... no matter, I never changed. I still didn't ask for medicine to ease my pain.

This year has been by far... the worse year for pain in my body. The past 3 years have been by far... the worse for mental pain... losing my only child. This year has been the worse year for the chronic pain in my whole body... from every surgery, every scar on my body.

Pain is just as much a part of my life as breathing the air I breathe... it's 'why' I live.

I'm used to living with pain... I never get used to it. It hurts so bad... but, it's a 'good' thing, too. :)))


　

"Hello! How Are You-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu"?

"Hello! How Are You-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu"?
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee... 2013

I was walking in Walmart the other day... my eyes were searching the shelves for Dawn dish detergent. I looked up, saw a woman enter the aisle I was on.

I saw her, I knew her... but, because I saw her then, didn't mean I 'really' saw her. I began searching the shelves in earnest for what I was looking for. There wasn't anyone in that aisle that I knew. I 'didn't want to know someone I knew was around'.... Doesn't that sound awful?

Well... you know how it is... because you are human like me. I know you have done the same thing at one time... or the other.

Why do we do things like that? I know ...why?... I did at that particular time. I didn't feel good, I sure didn't feel like seeing, talking to anyone. Besides... not long ago... that very same woman 'did that to me'.

I just pretended not to see her... I 'knew' she had her reason for being that way. I respected it... played the game, went on my way. I was thankful... she played the game... went her way, too.

Sometimes, when we leave the house... we want to go on our ways without being disturbed. You know how it is... sometimes, we just don't feel like talking, or pretending to be so happy to see someone... when we aren't. It's not that we hate someone, dislike them. It's just that 'it isn't the right time'...

I always recognize when someone else is like that... thankfully, they recognize when I'm like that. I go my way when I 'know' they want to go their way without being disturbed.

Sometimes, we just don't like to have to play games, pretend how happy we are to see someone ... when we aren't. When I feel good... I can do it. When I feel bad, or in a lot of pain... I'm not good at all ... pretending. I don't want to risk 'pulling down' someone else's mood.

Oh, I hate it when someone says in a loud, overly-sweet voice, "Hello! How are you-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu?" I don't answer, sometimes. It's fakey... but, nevertheless... it's one of the games we as 'people' have to play.

Sometimes, 'there are people'... we really don't like, much less have to adknowledge...... you know it's true.....

Oh well... just because I'm Granny Gee... doesn't mean I'm perfect. I try to be the best I can be... sometimes, I fail miserably. :)))

"Hello! How are you-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu? :)))))))))

　

I Had Become A Force To Be Reckoned With... My Mean Streak Came Out

I Had Become A Force To Be Reckoned With... My Mean Streak Came Out...

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

My son, Tommy... and myself... Gloria Faye Brown Bates

(Note:  The quality of many of my 'older' photos aren't the best ... they survived a housefire that claimed all our belongings.  Thankfully, I had an old suitcase full of photos ... so many were wet from the firemen's hoses... but, a lot survived after working with them.  In this photo, Tommy was about 5-6 years older than when the incident happened that I write about below.....

 

　

This morning as I was showering, the thought came to me... everyone of us, no matter how good we try to be... have a mean streak in us. Don't believe me? I think by the time you read this... you'll say, 'hey, that's right... I do have a mean streak in me'!

I promise you that I truly try to be the best person I can be. I'm fair, honest, caring... I have such a big heart. No matter... let the situation be right... I'm a mean old girl. I would fight 'tooth and nail', fall out in the dust and stir it up... if had to be. I would 'do what I had to do' in certain situations. I think you will agree with me, say you would do the same thing. There's a line 'somewhere' that each of us will 'draw in the sand'.... and say... 'no'!

Now... this is just my way of thinking... my 'Gloria Opinion'... so, whatever you do, don't do... know that you make your own decisions for yourself... I make mine... for myself. :))) We are all responsible adults... right? :)))

Let's say for instance... you have a small, precious child. You are sitting back talking to someone while you watch them play in the park. You are relaxed, and the person you are laughing, talking to... thinks you are the nicest person ever. All of a sudden... you begin to tense up... you sit up straight... a terrible expression appears in your eyes. What you see... you don't like. Your lips tighten up as you watch... you don't even know you have stood up... and have begun to walk, then... run. Your hands are clenched as if... as if...

When it's all over with... your memory of what happened is just a blur. Recognize any of what I'm saying? While you were sitting there... watching your precious child, you were all kicked back, relaxed. You were talking about this, talking about that.... smiling, happy... at peace with the world.

All of a sudden, your whole body language changed... you became a 'force to be reckoned with'..... you didn't know you were... the person you were talking to didn't know what was happening... they just witnessed you 'becoming something'... you became something fierce, something no one could stop! Like all of a sudden a tornado appeared... and it was going to 'blow hell wide open'!

Why? Because you saw an older child run over to your child, slap him/her to the ground. Your eyes didn't believe what you just saw... and by the time your little child got up... that big child knocked him/her back to the ground. You became the wind, you moved like the wind... and Lord help what was in your path. You were going to protect your little child... somebody's ass was 'going to get it... come hell or high water'.....

You reach the big child as he hit your child in the nose, making blood spurt everywhere.... by the time you 'became aware of your surroundings'... 'all hell had done broke loose'... and that big bully child was standing there looking at you in horror. You had jerked him away from your child, your voice had 'become a monster voice... daring him to touch your child again'! You became ... a force to be reckoned with... just enough to take care of the situation.

I remember a time when my son was small... we were visiting my mother... we were sitting at the dining table looking through the glass doors as my son ran to play basketball with my older brother, and his older friend. I watched as the older friend grabbed a stick, ran and hit my son. That was all I remembered... until I heard my mother's voice telling me to stop.

My child was being hurt.... the big guy didn't want my little son to get in their way. He began switching him... that was all it took for the protective instinct in me as a mother... to come out. Come out, it did!

That's how fast a storm can come up... the sky can be all fluffy, white clouds... the sunshine golden, warm... all of a sudden... all turns black, the rain pours down, the wind blows hard. A storm can go away... just as fast...

I didn't remember running out the sliding doors to get to my son, to protect him... when I became aware of myself... I had both hands on the big guy's shoulders... trying to push him into the ground. I had become a 'monster'.... I had become ... the storm that came up out of the blue... I had become a force to be reckoned with.  A very mean streak inside me... showed up.

　

　

　

　

　

　 

1-13-2014 Update... At The Library

Hello everyone,

I am at the library this morning to let everyone know that 'supposedly' my internet... will be back on this evening.  I'm not the only one being affected by all this... This will be 3rd time (I'm sure)... at 3:00 pm this evening... the internet won't come on as promised.  Sprint tells me that each time one ticket is closed out, another work ticket opens... the tower is still down.

Even if I do have internet.... it will be intermittent (I'll settle for that at this time! :))) for the next four months.  I won't mind as long as I have some... internet.  I came to the library armed with alcohol, paper towels, and hand antiseptic, and gloves.  I have to try to be careful as possible so, that I don't get sick... I don't want to go into the hospital.

I am going to 'go with the flow', take one day at a time.  As soon as my internet is up again at home... I am going to take necessary steps to get 'Camie's Angel' published, and do the other things I have set as goals in my life.  This internet problem has delayed all I was excited to be doing.  That's alright... I will accomplish what I set out to do.

I wanted to let everyone know what is happening at this date.  I will write when I can on my tablet... it's affected just as our cellphones, and computer are at home in our area.  I will probably come to library off and on, also.

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee   (I have missed so much my writing, communication with everyone...)

l Will Be Learning To Post Stories On My Tablet...

I wanted to let everyone know that for a time, I will be learning to post my posts/stories on my tablet.  I have experienced internet problems for the 4th week in a row.  

For 4 more months while Sprint updates (Sprint Vision)... I will have intermitent internet...sometimes, no internet.  So,, it'll be interesting to see how I manage my blogs.  Don't give up on me... I will be here.  :)))

I wanted everyone to know about this before I begin getting down to business writing.  Always know you can come to my Facebook to find me at  Facebook.com/grannygee.

Not only that, those off you who don't have my email address... this is it:  gloriapaintsat@yahoo.com

Gloria:)))

Saying Goodbye To The Past... Including People

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee... Summer of 2013



Saying Goodbye To The Past... Including People
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee


The year 2013 has brought closure to many things
Things held onto from the past... things hard to let go of

Time comes one day to let go... of things, people
It's not that you hate anything... you untie the invisible cord

Invisible cord from something inside you wanting to hold on
The more you hold onto things, people

The more cluttered your life... mind becomes
Until you sit, hold your head... needing space in place of clutter

Clutter being feelings that belong in the past
It isn't easy to sever the cord... let it all float away

Let things float away to new owners... another man's trash
Is another man's ... treasure

Let people float away to live their life without you
Without them... being connected when it's not good to be

No hate, hard feelings... let go, let go
The relief inside will be like no relief you've ever known

Take a deep breath, feel it relaxing your whole body
Now... you can look around, see

See all around you... no clutter, no pain
From things, people you've held onto from the past

Held onto... wishing, hoping in vain
Never in this world can they be a real part of your life

No matter how long you hold onto them
Wish them well... let them be free... you be free

To live without judging them... them judging you
Go in peace... everyone live their life

Let 'things' go to people who'll appreciate having them
Yes, another man's trash really is... someone else's treasure

Sure, there will be tears... hard feelings along the way
Letting go of the past... is never easy

One wonders if they made the right decision
Who knows if it is or not... we never know until... we let go

In my life, I face reality... know that I'm not important to anyone
Outside my small world... the truth is the truth

I accept that... the things, people I have let go of in 2013
Will be happier to have new homes, places... to go to in peace

I wish only good things to follow them, I smile as I see
In my mind... probably how glad they are, just as I am

To take a deep breath of relief... no strings, no commitments
No one has to pretend anymore to be what they aren't

It's easier to let go of people who are like glass
Like glass... so, easy to see through

They resent, become afraid when one can expose them
While they live in a fantasy world they build... a rock can bring it all down

Don't live in glass houses, everyone can see... know
You aren't what you claim to be...

In real life though... who cares, when you go on to be a good person
Who cares?  The world needs bad people who become good people

They've been there, come back... they are the backbone of the world
Some only visit 'there'... run away back to the real world to be good

These are your real people... they know what life's all about
You can't fool them.... they can see you, know what you really are

They have seen it all... heard it all
The only thing is... no one wants to listen to them, to learn... to keep from making the same mistakes

So, it's time to let them go their own way... let relationships go... that can never be
No need to waste time when you can very well see... it's like sitting, spinning your wheels in the mud

I am not going to be stuck in a quagmire any longer
I've let go... said goodbye to the past... including people


Author's Note:

I have done as I wrote... let go of material things I've tried to hold onto... gave away to a young family to help them.  I need money... but, I gave instead of trying to sell.  I'm not looking back...

I've also, let go of 'family' members whom I am better at loving from a distance... instead of in my immediate life.  It's not that I don't love them... but, through time ... I've never known them, nor communicated with them.  I do care... there's an invisible wall there, one can't see.  It was there ... before I was born.

For a short time in the last couple of years, our lives touched... for a short time, it was wonderful.

One could pretend, feel how wonderful it would be to have 'real family'... there's no feeling like it in the world.  The strange thing is... as quickly as it happened... it was gone.

No fault of the other... we are like that... it's like a plant that has shallow roots.  It can only grow into the ground so far... some can be dug up easily.  The plant... dies.

Maybe it's me... how I've been affected through time... I used to want 'family' with my very heart through time.  Maybe it's me... I'm like that plant that has shallow roots... I'm easily 'dug up'... I don't feel the same way, anymore.  Maybe... it isn't just me...

Just maybe, now... in my 'old' life... I can't develop ties with 'family' now.  I only know in my life, it isn't possible... maybe in another lifetime.  In this life, if it didn't happen 'before' this time in my life... it can't ever happen ... never.

I've gotten past the pain of realizing this... I don't want it to hurt another person at all... though, I know it does.  It also, angers some.  I can only say I've never meant to cause pain, anger.  I'm being real.

Maybe, I'm really a bad person who just thinks I'm a good person.  Here, I am... letting go of things, people that cause me pain, grief ...I can't keep on stressing over.  I don't want to be a bad person at all.

Maybe...  I'm the one I keep writing about from time to time.  Maybe, I'm the one who can't form attachments to people, things at this point in my life.  I wonder if it means I'm just an awful, awful person?

I thought about all of this... I could be onto something here.  I know that I can't get close to anyone other... than the very few people in my life.  I can't bear to care about, love ... any extra people in my life.  Look at how many I have lost in my life that I truly cared about... I can't bear the grief, pain.

I only hope, pray... I won't lose any of my closest people, Pups...  I have in my life that I can count on both hands.  I've known pain, grief my whole life.... after losing my son... I almost didn't make it this far.  I died with him... for two years I just as well have been dead... I didn't know, nor care if I was alive.

Now... I don't want 'more people' to lose... to have to feel that pain.  I don't know if I can 'bear more'...

This is my way of thinking... I share it with the whole world.  It's something to think about.  Maybe ... there are others who can understand, go through the same thing.  Maybe ... I'm the only one who thinks like this.

This is my way of... protecting myself.  We all do that in one way, or the other.  Self-preservation.... I'm all I've got.  Now, I want to live forever... I would like to know life without pain, grief now.

I'm wondering what you think, feel?  Am I a bad person for thinking like this?  I always try to be a good person... I've been through 'all my bad'... I try to be as good as possible... though, I'm just not perfect... no matter how good I try to be.

I've enjoyed talking to you.  I look forward to hearing what you have to say.  :)))  I'm a good listener, also.  :)))  Gloria

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• Time To Let Go Of You ... And You ... And ... You

Unstained...

Unstained...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

I think... all the time.  I come up with the darnest things... sometimes.  This morning when I was in my wonderful shower, enjoying the sudsy bubbles (I love suds, I love bubbles that smell beautiful!)... I began thinking about laundry.

I knew I was going to get a little laundry done today.  I don't usually let it build up.  I didn't have much today... but, I wanted to have it done.

I was thinking about how when we spill something on our shirt, dress, blouse, whatever the material we are wearing... we get stains from it.  Catsup, mustard, grease... coffee... you name it.  Try spilling it on a white blouse....

As I was enjoying my sudsy bubbles, my eyes closed... smelling the beautiful scent as they wafted up around my face... a thought came to me.  One that I had never thought of ... before.

Yes, I know you know how I think things that are... different.  How when you think I'm writing about one thing... only to find out... you can't ever take me for granted to write 'what you... think I will'.  I don't even know what I'm going to write prior to sitting down to write... I know what 'I think'... I 'm going to write.  Like 'now'...

Anyway... the thought came to me as soon as I opened my eyes... I was scrubbing my fingernails with a little, purple nail brush I keep in the shower.  I never bathe without using it on my nails... I love to be... clean.  I love my showers, I love my baths.  I love bubbles, suds!

I stopped, looked at my hands... the skin on my arms.  Unstained... through the years when preparing foods, or painting with my acrylics... cleaning house... I've used stuff that when gotten on my clothes... would leave permanent stains.

I stood looking for a moment, while holding my hands out in front of me.  So soft, nice... clean.  Smelled good, too.  I got out of the shower... thinking.

I took my towel, gently toweled off.  I toweled my hands off, making sure every nail was dry, cuticle gently pushed back.  Do you know... as I did that I was thinking... how clean my hands really were.

I looked closely to see if I had any kind of stain on my skin.  No... I didn't!  For years, I've used all kinds of things... and I don't have any kind of stain on them.

I began to think that... if we came up with some kind of material like our ... skin, wow!  We would never worry about spilling something on our clothes.  We would just wipe it all off... and leave it... unstained.

(Photo of Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee... taken summer 2013...).

How Fortunate, Thankful... I Am

How Fortunate, Thankful... I Am
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee... 2014

I felt a burst of happiness in my heart
It felt as if it would soar like a pink balloon
In the sky so blue... the clouds fluffy, white

Birds singing, flying... flitting around
I sat watching... a little, soft smile on my lips
Thinking how fortunate, thankful I am

Life's been hard... life's been good
I know what it is to have... have not
No matter how bad something is, everything will be alright

Many paths I've walked on in life
I know what is it to be poor... to be rich
I know what it is to be cold... to be warm

One extreme to another in my life
I have lost everyone I've loved with my heart
They are all long gone now... ashes to ashes... dust to dust

There are a few left... I wish them all well
In this lifetime... we will never meet again
If by accident we meet, we'll each go... our separate ways

I have my husband, and three Pups
They are my world... my very life
How fortunate, thankful...  I am

My real friends, I can count on one hand
I treasure, love each one
How fortunate, thankful... I am

I Notice One Strange Thing ... Since That Day

I Notice One Strange Thing ... Since That Day
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee... 2013

I sat in the old pickup truck, waiting.  Waiting for the tow truck to come.  I had to pee some kind of bad.  I wondered if I could cross the ditch on the side of the road I was parked on...

It was a wide ditch with dark water in it.  The water looked like... I didn't want to finish the sentence in my mind.  I was very tense... and having to pee didn't help.

I got out of the old pickup truck.  The grass was high around my feet.  I stepped on an old broken beer bottle.  Damn!  It almost cut my foot.  It did prick my toe where it was bare.  A fine time to have on sandals...

I looked across the ditch to the other side... there were trees I could go into, have privacy.  I had a bad feeling about this place.  I looked around me trying to see, sense why... I felt this way.

No... I'm not crossing that damn ditch just to go pee.  There could be an alligator, or something just as bad ... lying just beneath the surface waiting, watching... I'd pee myself, first.

I became aware of myself moving side to side, doing the pee dance. My legs tensed together trying to hold it.  I began doing the wiggle... Something's got to give... I can't hold it much longer.

I walked to the passenger's side of the pickup, opened the door ... I pulled my dress up, and pulled my panties down only ... just far enough....  Oh my God... the relief I felt.  I closed my eyes tightly as I relieved myself.

I heard a sound behind me, I had just begun to pull my dress down.  I froze as my skirt fell around my legs.  Oh, what is that noise?  I made myself begin to slowly... turn around.  I could hear the grass moving...

I held my breath hoping it wasn't something to hurt me.  I began praying.  Oh, God... please don't let it be something bad.  Please, please...  Please let me get home safely, I'll never be caught out alone again...

I felt a cold chill on my arms... I was breathing fast, shallow.  I turned completely around... I couldn't believe my eyes!

A midget stood there.  A little 3 foot midget stood there!  He had on a green cap, vest, pants and a yellow shirt.  I closed my eyes, opened them.  I know I'm not seeing this... I just know I'm not seeing this!

I was expecting an alligator, boa constrictor or something worse...  My mind couldn't comprehend... a midget?

I just stood there... I didn't know whether to laugh, or to run.  I was ... blank.  A midget?  Should I be afraid?  I didn't know what to do!

The midget and I stood staring each other in the eye.  I was ready to ... to ... to do whatever I needed to do.  Fight, run... laugh...

My expression had to be a sight to behold... a face twisted in a half-laugh, and a question mark.  I didn't know what in the hell to do!

I looked to his hands to see if he was carrying a bag of cookies... I saw they were empty.  I looked back to his face... he began grinning!

Now, I was faced with a three foot grinning midget!  I did have two feet on him in height.  I was measuring myself up to him... could I take that midget if I had to?

I know we stood there several minutes without anyone speaking.  I stood there with my expression of wanting to laugh, but... also, a question of 'who, what, where'?

I found my voice... I said, "do you have any cookies"?  That midget howled with laughter!  He fell to the ground with his little short legs kicking in the air.  He would not quit laughing.

This confused me more... I wanted to know if I needed to run, fight... or just relax, have a good time.  I watched the midget in amazement...

He stood up, brushed the grass, dirt off his clothes.  He began singing a song...  it sounded like this...

Hey, little girl... come follow me
Let's go up into that tree!

I don't have any cookies
I only have myself for you to keep

I need a loyal mate
I'll give you all the wishes you want to make

Hey, little girl... come follow me
Let's go up into that tree!

That midget held his hand out... waited for me to take it.  I stood there looking at him in disbelief.  He thought I'd just follow him like that.

I said back to him....

Hey, little midget... I don't have time for you
You don't have any cookies, I'm hungry

Further more, I bet you don't have no milk either
I'm thirsty... how do I know you'll let me have wishes

Wishes to make all I want to make
All I wish for ... is to be home in my bed, wide awake

I sat up in my bed in amazement, looked around me.  I looked around to be sure there wasn't a midget in my bedroom.  I began grinning, thinking it was a dream... until...

I saw a green vest, hat laying on my dressing table chair!  I searched the room over looking for that midget. I haven't seen that midget now... and it's been five years ago.

I notice one strange thing since that day... I always have to be careful... when I make a wish.

I wish, I wish for you... for me... the most wonderful, Happy New Year 2014!