HONEST, I WASN'T TRYING TO ... PICK YOU UP!

HONEST,I WASN'T TRYING TO ... PICK YOU UP!

BY GLORIA FAYE BROWN BATES aka GRANNY GEE

As I walked, I smiled... laughed aloud as I talked to Skip. We love to talk, though we've been married many years... we have alot to say to each other.

I was looking at the brands of coffee in the supermarket at Walmart... I was deciding if I wanted to change brands this time. I change brands all the time... sometimes price does have something to do with it. Alot of times.... the colors (yes, the colors! :))), and the packaging help me decide what I want to get.

I was standing there laughing as I looked, trying to decide if I wanted Dunking Donut coffee or Gevalia, or Maxwell House, Sanka or Folger's. I stayed with Folger's this time. I walked alittle way to look at the teas... all the while laughing and talking with Skip.

I'd noticed several older men as they walked near deciding on their coffee, tea. Some smiled at me, and I was already laughing, smiling so, it was easy to smile a bright smile at them. I just went back to doing what I was doing, never paying any mind until.....

I began to notice espressions on several older men's faces.... why they must be thinking I'm either talking to myself... or I'm 'just plain crazy'! I did see a twinkle or two.... I do think a couple of those men thought that 'I was trying to pick them up'!

Of course, these thoughts made me begin to laugh .... making me really look guilty of doing all these things. I began telling Skip what I thought was going on, he laughed.

I'm glad I didn't feel mischievious and do something really silly. I have been known to do some silly, funny things in my life. I decided not to... I didn't want to cause a 'situation'.

I began to feel alittle embarassed as I 'talked to myself' going down the aisles... I did appear to be talking to the different products that sat on the shelves, in the freezers. I seemed to be talking to the meats in the meat counters. Why, I even appeared to be talking to the water, drinks I was buying. I was even laughing, twinkling as I selected all the things I wanted.

When I laughed, it seemed I would look straight into someone's eyes... they smiled at me, as we passed by each other. I'd forget that I was using my.... Bluetooth device, the wonderful gadget for hands-free cellphone!

I was in my own world laughing and talking with Skip... all the while 'the world looked on' thinking.... 'hey, that's a crazy woman there'! She talks to herself, not only that.... she even laughs aloud! I would look at 'them', smile brightly as I walked by pushing the shopping cart, chattering away.

I began telling Skip 'I'm sure people think I'm talking to myself because they can't see the Bluetooth device for my hair'... this would be in front of someone standing close by. This was to let them know I really wasn't crazy, and I really was talking to 'someone'.

I didn't feel so self-conscious after doing that. I did notice that I saw a woman talking as she walked alone... for a moment 'even after experiencing what I did'.... I thought she was talking to herself!

I just hope those men didn't think I was 'trying to pick them up'... or was 'hitting on them'. I really hope they didn't think I was crazy, either! I did reach up and move my hair back to expose that Bluetooth device! :)))

　

　

　

　

　

　

　

'SHARKS'... WITH TEASED HAIR, RED LIPSTICK, AND A COCKED-UP EYEBROW... THAT GLEAM IN THEIR EYES...

'SHARKS' ... WITH TEASED HAIR, RED LIPSTICK, AND A COCKED-UP EYEBROW... THAT GLEAM IN THEIR EYES...

BY GLORIA FAYE BROWN BATES aka GRANNY GEE

I am a free spirit, soul... I am 'myself'. If I change to what you want... I am no longer 'myself'. No longer 'Granny Gee'... no longer 'Gloria'.......

These words came to my mind as I was thinking about people whom I love, but, never see. I was thinking that they don't know me any better than I know them.

Where I think they are pushy, dominating... they really aren't. It's 'just their way'. Just as the more I'm 'pushed, dominated', the harder I fight to 'get away'. That's 'my way'.

I've learned through many years to 'just be myself'. As a young girl I 'would have thought I was loved' when someone wanted to push, dominate me. Through the years I learned 'I don't want to be loved like that'. I'd rather be lonely for the rest of my life than for someone to 'crush my soul'. I'm ..... going to be myself.

Mr. Skip and I are 'perfect' for each other. My hero, my best friend, my husband... I would never think about another man 'if he weren't here'. All these many years I've known true, real love... I don't know if it possible to know that 'twice' in one's life.

I walk into fast food restaurants in the mornings... I see many 'lonely souls', mostly women.... sitting, watching every person who comes in the door. Hoping, praying that they'll catch the attention of some man... somebody. Somebody to be their friend, lover... someone to care about them. Just someone.... it doesn't matter 'who'.

Teased up gray hair, 'blonde' hair..... lots of thick make-up to hide life's lines, lots of jewelry sending off signals to every man who walks through the door...telling him to 'watch out, watch out'... there are 'man-eaters, sharks... in here'. He averts his eyes as he walks to the counter to order, walks to the table where his buddies are. They all have watched what transpired as he walked in the door... they've all experienced it... every morning.

It's sad, humorous, embarassing ... to watch. The woman, women think they are clever about hiding what they want... they are transparent. I always watch because.... I've always been a people-watcher... not only that... I've always watched others.... so, as to not make the mistakes 'they make'.

Sometimes... this is just a thought.... maybe we should have signs to alert us when we walk 'in the waves of humanity'... there are 'sharks, maneaters, woman-eaters, people-eaters... be aware, proceed at your own risk'. We have signs for everything else.

I wonder if Granny Gee teased her hair up high, put on thick blue eyeshadow, red-red lipstick and a ton of jewelry, high-heel shoes and a mini-skirt, with low-cut blouse........ I wonder what would happen if she walked into a fast food restaurant?

First of all.... I would be the one to 'look away' from everyone, not wanting to be noticed. I would be afraid of the expressions I'd see. Expressions of surprise, pity, 'maybe some interest'... eyes full of laughter at the 'gall of that woman'! Guess what! I'm laughing and.... I haven't done it! I know that 'would be a mistake'!

Can you see it? Close your eyes ... see Granny Gee like this, see 'yourself'........ do we need to go any farther? It's just too much for my mind to bear!

No... ole Granny Gee wouldn't want to be a man-eater, shark. She'd prefer to be quiet, noticeable in a 'good way'... holding her head up high, sweet smile on her face. She wouldn't ever worry about 'attracting just any man'... she likes, loves herself too much. She'd wear her 'life lines' ..proudly. She knows she is lucky to have had all these 'extra' years.

When you've loved the best, and they loved you.... there's nothing else but... friends. For-real good, clean friends.... friendship that will last a 'lifetime'. Granny Gee would only want these kind of people in her life... she's old enough to know what matters in life... now.

No... I wouldn't want to sit there with 'that gleam in my eyes', my teeth showing in a smile, my tongue hanging out, my eyebrow cocked in a flirty way.... hands fluffing my teased up hair, challenging 'just any man to come get me'....................... I'm lonely. No... that's not Granny Gee's way. She likes herself... and always has something to do to.

Though... it'd be fun to 'play that joke'... but, not fun. :))) I wonder if the women I've spoken of.... I wonder if they quit 'trying so hard'... accept their age, be themselves... have confidence, quit signaling to 'just any old man'... I wonder if they would attract more 'real' friends... even the men they desire?

Alot of times when one goes after something 'too hard', they only succeed in pushing it back 'away' from them. I wonder if they 'relax in themselves, slow down, quit being desperate'... I'm wondering if what they desired... would 'come to them'... instead?

How would I know? I'm just an 'ordinary-extraordinary-unusual-everyday' person! I am Granny Gee/Gloria... I do things 'my way'. :))) :))) :)))

Sometimes.... I am mischievious, silly... I'll never be 'too old' to be any other that way! I'll write more later... I have to 'go fix my hair.... I wonder if I should use that blue.......... red......'

'NOT'!!!

　

I'M SURE THAT WOMAN WISHED SHE'D NEVER MET THE YOUNG GRANNY GEE! I DIDN'T MEAN FOR 'ALL THAT' TO HAPPEN!!!

BY GLORIA FAYE BROWN BATES

        I was nineteen, a pretty girl with a happy smile and I was glad to be around ... people!  I had left the North Carolina mountains to come back home to Raleigh.  I wanted to be around people, lights, town... yes, I was happy 'to be home'!

I was isolated living in those mountains... fourteen miles from both towns I lived between.  I'd never been left alone in my entire life.. I was abused, mistreated as a child... but, I'd never been left alone.  I had gotten married too young... I ran away to marry a man... at that time he was a 'God' to me.  I was too young, and he was 'too worldly'... he loved lots of women.  

I was younger, he told me what to do and, he left me all alone in the countryside, while he'd be gone.  I'd never been in the countryside before going there to live.  It terrified me... I wanted to go back to town to live where there were lights to warm my soul, light my path... to keep the darkness away.  I was afraid of the dark.... I had grown up knowing 'things happen in the dark!'  I was left me alone for days and nights.  That's very scary for a 16 year old girl who was used to living in town, around people at all times.

I needed a job, and I decided to apply at Shoney's.  I was thinking in terms of salary plus tips... I would make good tips!  I went there, talked to the manager, and filled out my application.  I knew I had the job before leaving because, she asked me to come to work the next day.

I'd never worked, never had to work.  I wanted to work and learn how to take care of myself.  All of this lasted .... one day!  You wouldn't believe what could happen in just.... one day.

I showed up early for my new job with expectations of having a fun day on a new job... one I'd gotten all by myself.  I had all kinds of plans in my mind now,  I was going to make my own money.  I was living at my mother's home, and soon.... I wanted to get my own place.  This is what I had in mind ...until...........................

The manager was a very nice woman, she liked me but, I am sure she hated my guts when that night came!  I'm sure she wished I'd never come in to apply for that job.

I was smiling brightly with happiness at all the other waitresses, and waiter.  They were all smiling back at me!  I 'knew' I was going to like it here.  I was shown how to carry a giant tray that was 'bigger than I was'... with plates of food, saucers of pie (that strawberry pie sure looked good!).

The dishes on that tray that I had to carry were big, thick, heavy dishes.  I was strong, young.... but, the weight was almost too much for me!  Not only that... that terra cotta tile floor was too slippery to walk on!

The customers liked me, they were giving me lots of tips.  I loved hearing the coins rattling as I dropped more in my pocket.  What I loved best were the dollar bills, and five dollar bills that were silently stuck in my pocket!  This was in that one day!

There was one thing that disturbed me early that day when I took my first break.  My feet were really hurting from walking on that terra cotta tile floor.  I was shown to the employee breakroom, I immediately sat down to rest my feet.  I was alone at the table, and since no one was in there... I decided to take my shoes off (they were new, white and like the ones worn by nurses). 

When I took those shoes off, the pain seemed to get more intense!  They tingled.  I closed my eyes and began to slowly rub my left foot with my right foot.  It felt so good sitting there, rubbing my feet like that.  I had on stockings, and the silkiness of the stockings made it easy to slide my feet against the other!

I still had my eyes closed, rubbing my feet and was 'in another world' one where my feet were...... hurting and feeling good..... at the same time!  I heard a soft voice behind me coming from the doorway!

"Baby, keep on rubbing your feet, rub them, rub them!'  The soft, voice sounded excited, it came from one of the male waiters!  I stopped rubbing my feet, I was embarassed as I turned around to see ..... 'what in the hell!'  I couldn't believe my eyes... that waiter was standing there 'humping his hand!' 

I'd never seen such, much less knew what he was doing.  I knew he was in the throes of passion by the way he moved quickly!  I wanted out of there.  He was moaning as I ran quickly past him, back up the dim hallway to the door leading into the dining area!

Each time I was standing behind the counter to bend over to get something... I would feel pressure on my backside!  That male waiter would be rubbing up against me!  It began to upset me greatly, though I kept smiling.  I didn't like this!  He would mumble words to me that I couldn't understand.  I began to feel there was 'something bad wrong' with this guy.... I began to keep my distance, he found a way to keep invading my personal space.

I had gotten the hang of what to do... when disaster struck.  When disaster struck, it set off a chain of events that 'ended my wonderful career as a Shoney waitress!  The male waiter 'was the beginning!'

I was moving quickly carrying the huge tray with one hand, it was loaded with those big, thick, heavy saucers.  Each saucer held a big piece of strawberry pie.... I meant to have some of that later!  The weight of it all was pressing my hand 'down', I was hurrying and that slippery floor made me slip.....

Oh..... my.... God!  I watched as that big tray left my hand, I tried to stop it!  I watched those big, thick, heavy saucers fly through the air spreading.... red strawberry pie 'everywhere'!  I was so embarassed, so in pain, so 'wanting to melt into the floor'.... the noise it all made!

Red, strawberry pie on everything, on the countertop... broken, white pieces of the saucers were stuck here and there in that strawberry pie!  I heard people gasping wondering 'what in the __ just happened.... they couldn't see me!  But... they did when I began to raise up from my knee!  I don't think anyone asked me 'if I was okay'... but, I heard the manager's voice as she came running toward ............................. Oh ....my..... God!

Down she went!  She went sliding down on that slippery floor and slid up to me.... strawberry pie on her!  I looked at her in horror!  I knew she was dead!  Someone yelled "call the ambulance!"  I was asking, begging her to be okay!  She just laid there!  I wanted to leave!  I stayed.

The ambulance came, they loaded her into the truck and took her away.... I was left there not knowing what to do.  I began to help clean up the mess, all the while that same male waiter stayed behind me.... mumbling!

I could understand what he was saying now!  He kept saying "It's your fault!  It's your fault she's hurt!"  This only made how I felt worse.... and the knowledge that 'now'... I knew he was 'crazy'! 

Just before my shift ended.... a call came.  The manager's leg was broken, she wouldn't be back for a while!  When I left that Shoney's restaurant that day.... I knew I wasn't coming back either!  I never got paid for that day.... what was worse.........

I never got any of that strawberry pie! 

:)))

FORBIDDEN VIEW...

FORBIDDEN VIEW...

BY GLORIA FAYE BROWN BATES

Growing up in rural Virginia, Skip always looked forward to the summer months, not just because he was out of school for summer vacation, but also, swimming in the local river which was beautiful and had a white, sandy bottom.

The true highlight of the summer was when the harvest of string beans took place. A group of women would assemble at his grandmother's home to string and snap the green beans.

It was common practice for some of the women to not wear undergarments ( 'drawers' ). They would sit with their legs apart using their dress to hold the green beans they were working on.

Skip would find a seat on the bottom step which gave him a 'good bird's eye view' of what was 'normally concealed'!

One day when the women were snapping green beans, Skip's father drove up from work. He walked up to the porch and stood for a moment looking around.

He said "what are you doing, boy?" Skip said "I'm not doing anything". His dad said to him "don't lie to me, boy! I know exactly what you are doing!"

"Don't you know that the Lord will strike you blind?" his father asked. Skip immediately squinted one eye and said "I'm going to take a chance with this one eye!"

I have laughed over this through the years. Skip has been a mischievious person, and he has the funniest stories. I love to write about them sometimes.

You remember the story about the brownies! I'll be writing more funny things about him, too. They've entertained me so much through the years, I feel like you'll get a laugh, also.

I look forward to writing about some of his 'grandma' stories! Especially ... when she saw ghosts late one evening. Her boyfriend's name was Marley. He would come to 'court' her and they would sit in the parlor. I love how that sounds. So romantic.........

Marley saw some ghosts one night, too! Not only that, he had quite an experience with a rattlesnake! I will write about these stories in the future.

I laughed so much watching Skip as he told the above story... I could 'see' him as a young boy doing that! Curiosity! :)))

PURPLE SHAMPOO...

PURPLE SHAMPOO!...

BY GLORIA FAYE BROWN BATES

I went to get my hair trimmed yesterday at Raffles. I am going to say that the girls in there do a nice job cutting hair. I'm glad I found them.

My hair has become a 'champagne' color where it's lightened up naturally... I'm happy that the older I've become... my hair color seems 'pretty much even all over'..... where it's lightened up.

Skip likes it, I like it... and now, I don't want to put color on it. I'm going to leave it like it is. I love my natural color!

Now.. yesterday I almost made a mistake. I asked the girl who cut my hair what could I use to make my hair shine more? No big deal.

Immediately she and the other beautician standing nearby said to use Matrix Total Results, but... don't use it more than twice in one week. The other beautician told about a woman using her Total Results shampoo more than two times... now, she has purple hair! Oh... My ... God!

Well, I decided I would come home and 'use the shampoo just one time'.... and use it quickly! I jumped into the shower and got my hair wet... took alittle of that shampoo and put it on my hair, worked it in and rinsed it quickly .... I didn't want to take a chance on having 'purple hair'!

I got out, toweled off, dressed and then, began drying and fixing my hair. It has become thin since Tommy died, the beautician said stress, grief can cause one's hair to do that. It should begin doing okay now. I've always had very thick hair.

Anyway, I noticed that there was a little 'silvery' sheen on my 'champagne' color.... I decided to read the bottle! As I read that bottle I decided I'm going to give that new bottle of shampoo away! The shampoo is purple in color, and on the front of it... it says 'So Silver'....now, I don't want my 'champagne' color to turn 'silver'!!! No way! I want my own color, nothing to keep up.

How lucky I am for the way my hair is 'doing by itself'... yes, I'm going to give that purple shampoo away. If anyone is reading this who knows me personally.... and it's convenient to give it to them... just let me know... this purple shampoo can be yours with .... no charge!

SKIP LIKES THAT LOTION!

SKIP LIKES THAT LOTION...
BY GLORIA FAYE BROWN BATES


That sure is some good lotion.  I like the smell of it, and I like how it feels when I rub it on my face and hands.  It feels good!

Skip was telling me about the lotion he'd found on the shelf in the closet at the end of the hall.  I asked him what color was it, what scent was it.  He told me it had a nice floral scent, and it was pink in color.

My mind was on something else at the time, so... I didn't dwell on the lotion at that time.  I did think though... I would check it out, and use some of it..... but, I couldn't remember 'that' lotion.

That sure is some good lotion!  Skip had used it again.  This time it piqued my curiousity!  I wanted to use some, too!  I wanted to smell that beautiful scent he kept mentioning!  The phone rang, I ran to answer it, forgetting that lotion once again.

Several days later, after I had taken my shower I happened to think about that nice-smelling, pink lotion Skip kept raving about!  I wanted to smell the nice floral scent he described... of course, I love floral scents.   Also, I wanted to know 'how' that lotion come to be there on the shelf, and I couldn't remember it!

I walked down the carpeted hallway to the door, opened it.  I saw the pretty bottle right away.  I was thinking that bottle was something else, but.... I don't use my reading glasses all the time... and after a time I forget things that I do have.

I reached for it, decided I needed my reading glasses to read the pretty label.  Skip uses reading glasses, too.  I don't think he read this label with reading glasses on. 

I read:

BODY ESSENCE

Raspberry Shea Butter

Ultra-Moisturizing

BODY WASH

Shea Butter Beads

Softens and Conditions Skin

24 fl.oz.

I began laughing thinking of seeing Skip putting that wonderful 'lotion' on his face and hands, how he enjoyed using it!  I laughed until I got weak... I couldn't wait to tell him that his beautiful lotion was in actuality............

Raspberry Body Wash!!!