IT'S A WILD WORLD OUT THERE ON THE ROAD... TRUCKING, LOVING LIFE!

IT'S A WILD WORLD OUT THERE ON THE ROAD... TRUCKING, LOVING LIFE!

BY GLORIA FAYE BROWN BATES/ AKA GRANNY GEE... MARCH 05, 2012

Who knows if it's going to snow or not? I love our weather forecastors on Channel 5. They are fun characters to listen to each day... one could almost think of them as their friends. Each time I've ever lived here in this area... I turn the tv to Channel 5 to see them. As a child at Grandma Alma and George's... I watched it.

It 'looks like we could, but... probably not' get a light dusting of snow this morning. Even the schools in several places are closed or on a 2 hour delay. I found that unusual and wondered 'why'? Usually it's the other way around... school having to let out early as it began to snow. Now...it may not snow... and there are closings/delays like ... when we expect a 'significant amount'.

I have two doctor appointments this morning in Raleigh. I will visit my cardiologist, and shortly after... my oncologist. I deliberately scheduled them on the same day to 'get it done'. Now... I will be glad when I'm back home.

Alot of people hate to drive in Raleigh... I love it. I love to drive in much bigger cities than Raleigh. I loved doing it when I drove the tractor-trailer with Skip.

It was exciting, it was fun.... that big, old wind coming through. I can't tell you how exhilarating it was... manuevering lanes in that wild traffic, staying with the speed and flow.

Sometimes other women would drive beside me as I drove... rolling the window down... yelling 'you go girl'! Or give me the 'thumbs up'. All made me proud I could do something that not other women normally did.

Of course, there were the guys driving by, too. They really loved to see a pretty, young woman with long, curly blonde hair driving... especially one who was smiling because she was happy to 'be out there, traveling and making 'big' money, in comfort in a beautiful new truck'. That was me, I loved it though, of course.... there was the bad as well as the ...good.

I always stayed on the alert watching constantly my mirrors and 'the big picture ahead' of me. I was very safe, and I took pride in that. Still.... unexpected things happened... thank God, I was 'most of the time' .... alert. :)))

When I say most of the time... I will honestly admit there were times I became sleepy. I did alot of nighttime driving as I was the 'night owl'. I loved driving through sleeping cities on the interstate... all was quiet. Of course, one watched when it wasn't quiet at nights. There were all kind of 'goings on' in the night. Police chases, fast cars making one wonder if they were trying to get away from something.

This was funny, not funny... funny... and just plain ...awful. There were the predators of the night on the interstates... everywhere. They all did the same things but, had a different face, gender, body, color..... they did the same things.

Driving along at night, all is quiet and a car drives up beside you, never passing. Why would they stay even with a truck on a quiet and dark night, a truck driver has to be careful.. someone could begin shooting or do something stupid.

One can't see in the dark-tinted glass until...... that window rolls down to reveal.............a lighted interior, there sitting is a naked man doing things he shouldn't be doing 'in front of the world'! Then...you see him duck his head down far enough to look up into the window of the truck... grinning!

One knows what this man wants... there's no doubt. He wants some fun and hopes you will join him. Of course.. he is expecting to see a male truck driver most of the time. I've seen this at night driving... knowing me ...guess what I did?

Yes, you are right! I began laughing so hard because it's so ridiculous to see a naked man all................... sitting there under the steering wheel. He is feeling like 'such a man' and wants the world to see. From my viewpoint... it was funny, sad all at the same time. Funny... because can you imagine all that naked skin sitting on a carseat under a steering wheel and you see an 'extra finger' threatening to help quide the steering wheel?!!!

Sad... because that person must not have anyone else and have problems. Sad, because he feels he has to prey upon other people to either make money, or to feed his 'addiction/habit' which is being over-sexed. Sad, because he doesn't know how ridiculous he appears from 'up above'... if he could see, I don't think he'd do it ever again.

Now... this is the funny part of seeing something like what I just told you about. That never gets old with truck drivers, and believe me when I say this... it happens 'all the time'! Yes, it really does.

One can be driving down the interstate in daylight just as well as nighttime...... and see a car come buzzing up beside the big truck. The same old thing happens.... that window begins to roll down and 'lo and behold'.......... there's a woman sitting there.... 'massaging' herself... 'everywhere'!

One waits for the head to duck down and look up at the big truck to grin at the driver............... I loved it, though I hated to disappoint, the woman would be grinning up into .... another woman's smiling face! Her grin would fall into her naked lap ..... I sort of felt bad doing that.. but, I couldn't 'go anywhere'... I had to drive that big, old truck. Drive it, I did!

Do you know how women love to just bare their breasts to Jerry Springer? Well, this happens all the time.... it can be women riding with their husbands/boyfriends, or lots of time.... pretty, young girls having fun... they will come driving up beside a truck and ... boom! there it is..... they will quickly pull their blouses up to show..................................................... yes! their breasts to the truck drivers.

More than that... they will 'bare bottoms' in the blink of an eye making one wonder 'did I really see that!' You wouldn't believe... no, you wouldn't believe. Summer days bring out alot of what's hidden on cold days! Yes, you really... did see that.

The CBs go crazy .... the drivers will become excited. They will tell the driver in front of them to 'look at that seatcover'! They'll tell about the 'hooter shot' they just got. In front, one can see the driver in front begin looking in his mirror... waiting 'for his hooter shot'!

It's a wild world out there on the road. Oh ..the stories I can and will tell as time goes by. You wouldn't believe.... but, they are.... true. I didn't until I saw with my own eyes.

I was fascinated to see people 'do what I could never do'........ I was amazed at the 'nerve they had'.... most all done with a....... big, old smile. I was embarassed ... alot!!! But.... I wouldn't trade my experiences for anything... I've gotten to see and live things the normal, everyday person never does in a lifetime.... they only read about them and... imagine.

I may get embarassed, be shocked, or amazed .. never want to do such things, never want to be thought of as 'bad'.................. but, I'm glad I saw and know what I did, and do now, even being a little older. That's the spice of life.... no one never knows what people will do, sometimes even they don't know what they'll do.

Sometimes.... you never really know that person you call your friend, father, mother, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, cousin, or grandma, or grandpas........................................ they are people, too. They do 'things'... I know. It seems I'm always the one to see the 'things they do'... that they never show to the ones who 'know them'.

There are some crazy people out there in this big, old world. It's a wild world out there on the road.... it's a wild world even here at home. I know.

I'm shocked all the time... seeing people being something other than what others... think they are. It's like when reading in depth in a boring-looking book.... all of a sudden........... it's so amazing, interesting, and ...unbelievable! People are 'books'..........

Yes, it's a wild world 'out there'. Granny Gee knows, she's seen, she's heard, she's been shocked, embarassed, amazed.......... and .....looks forward .... to more. Granny Gee.... loves life!

Oh, how she loves the sunshine, soft-flowing breezes blowing in her hair with the scent of White Diamonds in it, as the sun warms her skin, her soul, her heart.... when it rains diamond teardrops sparkling in the light. Granny Gee loves life. She can see now... the light guiding her on her path as she goes.  :)))

　

"BABY SHOES"... SUICIDE BY BIG TRUCK

"BABY SHOES"... SUICIDE BY BIG TRUCK

BY GLORIA FAYE BROWN BATES

As I drove down the interstate that night I was listening to the two truck drivers I was running with. They were family men... I could tell by the converstation they were having. One was talking about his wife, it was easy to sense his love for her. The other was talking about his children, his dogs. I loved it.

I liked running with them, listening to them kept me awake. Skip was asleep in the big sleeper behind me in that big truck. I drove along imagining in my mind the pictures their conversation sparked. Sometimes, I would pass and be in front of their trucks as their conversation on the CB would begin to slow them down.

Sooner or later... they would realize that they had dropped speed to talk.... it was easy to do when talking... they both would pass me up. It was comfortable driving along with them. Both knew I was a woman driving a big truck.. what I liked very much was neither felt the need to be other than what they were... family men. Alot of drivers wanted to 'play' while on the road. One could listen to the CB to know it... they rode the highways 'having fun'. These kind of truck drivers 'left alot of themselves behind'... as they traveled up and down the highways. Alot of them gave truck drivers a bad name....

I was wanting to stop at a rest area 'really bad'. I wanted to keep going because I was making such good time traveling with those two trucks. I saw a sign saying that there was a rest area a few miles ahead. Soon, I'd be driving through St. Louis, Missouri, there would be no stopping then. Night or day... the traffic was something to be reckoned with.

I began debating whether I wanted to go on ..or to stop. I probably wouldn't get with more drivers that late at night to make time go by as it had tonight. I was in front of them now...they were talking about fishing.

I saw the exit off to the right leading into the rest area... I was on it without thinking about it further, driving into the parking lot for big trucks. I parked the big rig and turned around to see Skip sitting up on the side of the big bed. I told him I had made good time traveling with those two trucks and didn't want to stop, but, I wanted to go to the bathroom.

We got out of the truck, my legs were stiff from sitting so long in one position. It hurt and felt good at the same time to walk that long walk to go the restrooms. Drivers almost always... have to 'walk a million miles' just to get to the restrooms.

I looked down at my white sneakers and I could see from the night light that I'd scuffed it. I wanted to wipe my shoe off. Climbing down from a big truck on those steps, it was easy to rub one's shoe and get it dirty. Size 6 1/2 shoes..... that is why some drivers gave me the CB handle "Baby Shoes'... because my feet were little.

I couldn't imagine when I began driving a big truck what my CB handle (name) would possibly be... it was "Baby Shoes". I didn't talk on the CB very much, if I did... I talked like I normally talked. I didn't talk the lingo that truckers talked... I didn't want to sound 'cheap'... that was very easy to do 'if' one was a woman.

How many times I cringed when I would hear women truckers on the CB talking ... they would change their voices (or maybe they always talked 'that way') and say things I knew I would never say. No... I was a sissy driving that big truck... I wasn't 'tough where one could see or hear it......... my strength lay 'within ..no one could see or hear it, unless I was pushed. That didn't happen very often. I could hold my ground when I needed to. I didn't have to act trashy to do it... I spoke quietly and looked straight into a person's eyes to make sure they understood exactly where I was coming from.

When I say I was a 'sissy', I was in the way I could be dressed very pretty and if need be... I knew how to 'get dirty'... but, no one knew that I did. They'd see a small 5 ft. 1 1/2 inch female with long, curly hair, and a bubbly smile and laughing eyes.. sweet, clean and wholesome... most never saw that smile leave my face. I never wanted that smile to leave my face, I loved to smile and be happy.

We walked into the restrooms. The first thing I would do (my secret!)....... was to peep at myself in the mirror! Those wonderful, long mirrors all the way down one wall! I would smile at myself and instantly the tiredness would begin melting away... I loved to walk and see how I looked in the mirrors 'all the way' down the wall. Of course, if I didn't feel pretty... I wouldn't look in the mirror any longer than necessary.

I washed my hands and used the dryer... I never had the patience to just stand and wait for my hands to get dry. I wiped them off on my jeans, took a last look in the mirror, walked outside to meet Skip.

Skip asked me if I would like him to drive now, and I let him. We hadn't driven very far up the road when we became aware of the CB.. there was alot of excited talking going on. I looked at Skip and back at the CB. It's seemed like something happened while we were in the rest area.

We heard the drivers saying how awful it was! That woman... it's a mess! She jumped..... that driver is in bad shape! I was beginning to realize that the two trucks I was in front of ..... and traveling with... were somehow involved!

We got closer, and now... knew that up ahead a woman had jumped into the path of one of the big trucks I'd been in front of, killing her. She was laying on the road. I began to feel sick inside, both in heart and my body, I felt all my strength leave me. I began to feel cold chills as I replayed in my mind the time we had stopped at the rest area when I'd been in front of the other two trucks.... oh my God! It could have been me that woman jumped in front of! I began to tremble. I was in shock.

I'd always heard that there were alot of people in time who had committed suicide by jumping in front of big trucks. I had already heard drivers telling their stories and now... this was almost one of my stories on the road.

I had always heard that for some reason... people chose to jump into the path of a big truck to end their lives.... my question has always been 'why'? Because... it's so final... so 'the end'... so 'not coming back'... 'there's no turning back'. Can you imagine what in the world could be in a person's mind to make them do 'that'? I can't.

I kept telling Skip that it could have been me who hit that woman! If I hadn't exited the interstate when I did... that's all that kept it from being me. While we sat there and waited... the rescue and law enforcement came... I could see that poor driver.

He was in another world... of terror and grief, realizing that a woman committed suicide in front of his truck... making him a part of her death without any choice in the matter. My heart went out to him as I watched people putting their hands on his shoulder trying to comfort him, I saw his face.... he was in shock, not knowing anything but, the horror that had just happened in his life. This was a family man... I knew... I had listened to him talk for several hundred miles ... about his wife, children, dogs, going fishing, church. Look what happened to this 'good' man.....

Forever, that man had to carry the weight of that inside..... just like Tommy.... neither had any say-so in what happened. Both were good men to be forever scarred from something so horrible. It's so unfair, yet.... unfair things happen. I know what happened to my son helped to cause his death... it disguised the symptoms of heart trouble.... he went through so much before he died... in his mind, in his personal life... he never had the help he needed. He tried so hard to be strong........

I think about things such as this... I think to myself that if you aren't careful when 'you go out into the world'........ someone's life can just 'reach out and touch yours'....... without you giving permission. It could be in a good way... or in a 'bad' way. You have no choice if you don't 'see it coming'. Life is like that... it's sad when it's in a 'bad' way.

It makes me think of Tommy. One year after that man stepped out in front of his big truck... my son died. He never could get over what happened. It played constantly in his mind, torturing him every minute of his life. I know... my son, my only child, my baby... called me almost every day of his life to talk to his mama. If he didn't talk, it was okay... his connection was there with his mama. When a mother can't make everything better for her own child... can you imagine how helpless a mother feels? I could only 'be there'. It still didn't keep him from dying.........................................

I woke up thinking about these things this morning... it's the first time I've thought about the time 'it could have been me' that hit a person with a big truck... I never had associated it with Tommy until this morning when I woke up. Just thinking about it ...is too much. It was too much for Tommy. I can still hear his soft crying in my mind saying.... 'mama, mama'.............

"Baby Shoes" could have been a part of that woman's death when she decided to commit suicide in front of the big truck. Life happens, sometimes we 'don't see it coming'......... sometimes 'we have no choice in the matter'.