I'm smiling at the world today ... I hope it will smile back at me.
Life has once again held much pain for ME in the month of May. I am recovering from a nightmare.
Don't ask questions as I won't answer. Today is what is important ... I have made it to today. All I can do is go forward ... forward I will go.
When I say ME ... it means Skip Bates, too. He has been through ungodly since his birthday that won't ever be forgotten ... that was the beginning of all.
I removed people from our life permanently ... they are all good people in their worlds ... just not in our life. There's always love, caring, wishes for only good to touch their lives.
They are gone forever, no chance at all for any kind of relationship. I owe them nothing ... I only send love in my mind if I think of them.
I felt more pain in my life trying to keep my husband's spirits up, allowing them to be in our life ... I never had to ... I never will again. I let years go by when normally just a short time would make me get negative people out of my life.
I did this in hopes Skip could find love, peace, forgiveness from people he held important, special in his mind.
What happened in May won't ever be forgotten ... Skip can forget because of his medical condition ... ME? NEVER-EVER ... however, I truly forgive. No hate, anger in my Heart. All left behind in my Heart is the hurt, pain.
It took some years until what happened broke my Heart, my soul when pain came from something that was meant to be so extra-special.
I'll never allow our life to be shared with them again. And ... if I know of anyone sharing our life ... anything about us with them or my friends, I will remove them, also.
I don't need dishonest friends ... if I want something told about my life, my business I will tell it. One such time happened on Facebook when this nightmare began in May.
Someone put about what happened in my life on my Facebook, it quickly disappeared. No big deal, you are right ... that isn't the point. I don't believe in going to your FB page to tell everyone what happened in your life. That's not nice.
Your life is yours to tell. I'm not going to share details of your situation with your friends either ... afterwards. I would tell them you know how private so and so is ... please ask them.
I know how easy it is to step over that line/boundary ... I almost did yesterday in general talking. I caught myself as soon as my mouth opened ... I talked about something else. I remembered how private the person was ... I respect that.
I will remember someone doing that to ME ... I won't forget ... I won't ever bring it up in conversation. It's water under that proverbial bridge where everything goes to be forgotten. It affected trust forever.
I know about this happening though it wasn't meant for me to. I forgive though I was surprised as I'd never tell their life, business to anyone, never. I am a trustworthy friend, I expect anyone who associates with ME in my private life to be the same.
I write about my life ... there is the private side to my life I don't write, I don't share ... I don't need anyone else to do it for me.
We all have to remember no matter how nice a person tries to be ... or like ME when I write ... there are ALWAYS boundaries we don't cross ... there is ALWAYS that invisible line in the sand ... a boundary we never cross over.
Just simple respect not to step over into ... the most real, sacred part of a person ... their life they live out of the public's eye ... their Home life only they live because no one else can share nor live it for them. Just plain old simple ... r-e-s-p-e-c-t ... RESPECT.
I am glad to be back. I won't speak of events that have brought terrible pain both mentally, physically to ME since the month of May 2024. That's also, the month my son died in ... only living people added all the extra pain mentally ... an accident added all extra 'oh my God!' pain this time.
Life is, can be like this at times. This is from someone who knows. But ... guess what? I am still holding onto the horns of this bull called LIFE. I won't let go until I simply just die.
I've learned one lesson from this god-awful accident that hurt me so badly ... I know from now on to just simply ask for help. It took all these years to learn ... to humble ME. I've always been self-sufficient as much as possible so as not to bother other people ... I have always thought I can do any ... everything that I don't need anybody.
This morning for the first time in so long ... I sit here smiling at the sunshine shining through the window on ME. I am sitting here thanking God for everything. .. I am so grateful though I'm climbing out of HELL once again in my life.
The thought coming to mind is ... this is only temporary, everything really is going to be alright. I've been through worse and made it ... so out of HELL I'm lived in for 3 months I climb with a smile on my face. I know everything really will be okay.
LIFE ... is amazing. I still wouldn't trade living it for nothing. 🙂🙃🙂💛💛 I LOVE ... Life ... when it hurts I try hard to learn from that pain.
