Our Life Coming To An End Here ... We Have To Move So Owner Can Get House Ready ... He Wants To Sell House Before Holidays ... Happy, Sad, Scary Feelings That I Never Get Used To All At One Time ... Gracious.

Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee ... October 2018

Our Life Coming To An End Here ... We Have To Move So Owner Can Get House Ready ... He Wants To Sell House Before Holidays ... Happy, Sad, Scary Feelings That I Never Get Used To All At One Time ... Gracious.

I put on a shirt I've had 'in back' of my closet for years ... it still had a price tag on it. I can wear it now!

I am finally getting the nerve up to try on some clothes I have kept through time even before Tommy died ... also, I have some clothes Tommy bought for me through time that grew too small because I grew too big ... I can wear them now :) When Tommy died ... it didn't matter anyway. Clothes didn't mean anything to me then ... very little else did either ... I was in a dark world where I couldn't see anything but know the loss of my only child.

In fact, some are 'too big' ... isn't that wonderful?!!! :) I have one of Tommy's trucking jackets I love to wear ... this winter, it's too big!!!

Guess what? I pure treasure, love my son's jacket ... no matter how big it gets, I will wear it. I remember at one time a couple of years ago I was afraid I'd gain 'too much' weight to continue wearing it.

I find at this stage in my Life that Life has a way of being happy, sad, scary all at the same time. I should be used to it, I never have grown used to those 3 feelings all at once ... all these years. Now ... for the past 2 weeks, I've felt panicky ... sick to my Heart, afraid ... and happy because of weight loss to go with the sadness in my Heart.

We are facing having to move without money, Skip has been deathly sick especially in the past 2 years and is/will continue getting medical attention. What in the world can I do to help us?Already, at this time of year, it has begun to get very cold ... that's scary. It was 32 degrees this morning.

We don't know how to handle this yet. I am talking Skip into letting me set up a GoFundMe to help us with finding a home that we can continue to pay rent on in the future ... preferably a used travel trailer we don't have to move out of later ... when we don't have any help ... very cheap rent (I'm afraid it's impossible here now with so many people moving in every day). So far, he tells me to not do it ... something good will happen for us.

We don't have much time ... the owner wants to sell the home now before the holidays ... there is a lot of work to do to make to make a house sellable. The holidays are here in just a few weeks.

This is October 22, 2018 ... Thanksgiving is very soon. That begins the holidays ... I have begun to panic. Why?

I have no family who could even begin to help us ... they are gone ... I sit here and think ... they have all died. See ... this is what happens when a person loses all their family and becomes older ... I tell younger people to build a support system now ... they'll never know like I didn't ... your family could be gone tomorrow. Even to their children ... my only child, Tommy ... isn't here to help us ... and he would have just as we would have him. He died unexpectedly with 3 blockages to his heart and collapsed, died. So what do I do?

I've checked resources here in this county ... do you know ... there's nothing for us without a long waiting list ... and we'd have to give up our 3 dogs ... two who have been rescued by us.

We can't do that to our dogs ... we can't take their life away from them when they know security, protection, love, care, good food since being rescued, no more than giving up little children who have come to love, depend on you ... trust you.

We would live in our 2 vehicles and little utility shed with our dogs if we had to ... we'd hope someone would let us live somewhere. I've been through so much ... homeless isn't one of them ... but, I'd do my best to do it with grace, cleanliness, and being protective of Skip and our Pups if we had to. I would do my very best to live homeless if I had to.

Sometimes ... everything runs out for people and they have no one, no place to turn ... you can only do the very best you know how and can do. If not ... what is left? I don't want to die now when I've just started living having coped with the loss of Tommy, my son.

We understand very well the owner's situation, we know the owner. We are friends with him. In fact ... with no family left I've grown to love him 'like family'. I don't think he would do this to us at this time of year all of a sudden unless it was having to do so. So you see ... there's no bitterness, no anger or hard feelings against the owner, our friend. I hope no one will make any negative comments at all about the owner.

He has been very good to us ... we have been very good back to him doing, going for him to take care of paperwork, business, so-on. We have taken care of his cleaning house, other things for him, mow grass ... and watched his property for him while being away. This has been both night and day ... we have always been there for him. We have been his property caretakers.

Many things too numerous to mention we do ... and I'm not trying to win Brownie points. We have done things people who are real friends do for the other ... always jumping to do for them, never questioning ... just glad to do things for the owner. We do that because we want to. He was there for us if we needed him.

I understand that it is embarrassing to go public, create a fund to raise money to help us move (deposits, utilities, gas to look for places, the lists go on) ... truthfully, we are that close to being homeless. Gracious ... where does a person turn? This is the only way I would know to ask for help, something I rarely ever-ever ask anyone for. Everyone who knows me ... know 'if I ever ask for help' ... Gloria is desperate. I am at this moment just before being desperate ... especially when Skip is asked if he has found a place yet ... if he is looking and such. I become completely sick at Heart.

I've found out that people in offices where I thought I could go to, get answers, help... can look you straight in the face ... never blink an eye and tell you ... "I have nothing for you". No heart, no emotion, no caring in their eyes ... on their face. All I could say was ... "thank you", and leave. I understand they all have a job to do ... I've worked in an office with the public. I also, understand showing compassion, caring can make people feel better. Just act like you care even if you don't. I left just as nice as I was when I arrived.

Skip is older now, has medical conditions ... I won't mention mine because I never think about them if possible. Skip's medical conditions are more important to me ... and our Pups3. Even if I don't think about it, want to admit it ... we have gotten older ... we are senior citizens now ... is that amazing or what? That's why I have to be strong for us ... I have to put how I feel physically aside and be very, very strong. I will, can do it.

I am writing about all this ... why? Because I may have to go public in asking for financial help to find a place for us to live ... I am also, hoping for advice if someone knows something I don't know ... and I exhausted that 2 years ago when I almost lost Skip to stroke, heart conditions. That's when I discovered you can read one thing online showing resources for older people ... go to places offering them ... they aren't there. And today ... oh my ... look at the people young, old who need help now from all these disasters ... it breaks my Heart.

I will say what I hope can possibly happen ... and if it doesn't ... we will and have to take one day at a time ... even if it means to move into our vehicles and do the best we can.

I hope I could somehow, some way raise enough money to purchase a used travel trailer in good condition for us, our Pups3 ... I would always have a roof over our heads ... we wouldn't have to move out of 'home' again. I could move it anytime if we needed to move somewhere. We have a limited income and I could pay monthly utilities, buy food for us, Pups3 ... gas for appointments, etc.

This is what's on my mind this morning. I'm thinking of what I can do to help our situation because in just a few weeks the holidays will be here ... the weather has already begun to get very cold.

I don't want us to end up with no place to go ... the embarrassment of saying we can't find a place that's affordable for us to live ... we would leave quietly if asked to go ahead to leave here and live in our 2 vehicles.

While I can ... I am going to create a GoFundMe or Facebook FundMe in the near future ... and everyone can see why I would need it for us.

Just know this, if I had any other choice ... I wouldn't do this at all. I'm just before desperate ... and I am asking for help to purchase a used travel trailer in good condition so we can have walls, roof around us.

Also, I don't want anyone to say anything negative toward the homeowner. We all have to do what we have to do. Life is like this ... I understand it very well. I have been through many battles in Life ... this is going to be another one just as important as any I've been through. We are older now ... who knows the years we have left? I am going to try to do the best I can to help us, our Pups3. Thank all of you and if you know something to help, let me know. <3 Gloria Faye Brown Bates  

Note by this Author:  Life is like this sometimes ... it's called real life.  You see a person doing with only what they have and the best they know how.  That's a real person ... life is sometimes too real, scary, happy, sad.  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Orbs Around The Satellite Dish...

Orbs Around The Satellite Dish...

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

One evening I sat at my computer, it was dark underneath the canopy of trees.  I looked up on the mantle where the monitor sat.... to watch it switch views.  I noticed something strange on one of the cameras.  In fact, it made me feel scared.

I stood up, reached to press the button to stop one of the camera views to watch something I'd never seen before in my life.  I was afraid especially when I went outside on the deck to peer out toward the satellite dish for Directv.

I stood still as I kept trying to 'see' what I was seeing on the monitor... there was nothing there!  I ran back inside to the monitor and stood there in shock... there they were!

On the screen I could see the satellite dish very plain (we had a good surveillance system)... as I watched, I saw many orbs of all sizes ... rotating around the satellite dish!

I couldn't believe my eyes!  I was feeling afraid, I couldn't understand why I couldn't see anything with my naked eye when I'd step outside on the deck to look!

I was by myself that night as back then... Skip was driving a big truck.  I became very nervous.  I went outside on the deck numerous times hoping to see 'what I was seeing' on the screen of that monitor.  I never did see anything.

I wonder, dear readers.... what in the world was I seeing?  What do you think I saw?  Tonight as I sit here to write, this is what my mind went back to.  I wonder if anyone has had a similiar experience?  I hope to hear from you on this subject.

I will admit ... I was afraid and guess what I had to do?  I had to turn off that particular camera until time for me to go to bed... I couldn't watch it anymore.  Also... I never saw that ever again on the cameras after that night.  When Skip was home ... I wasn't afraid to watch the satellite dish.... I wanted to show him what I witnessed.  I never got to.

Orbs around the satellite dish... I wonder what I witnessed?  I wonder who else has seen orbs around their satellite dish?

'FAYE... FAYE... FAYE'

'FAYE... FAYE... FAYE'

Saturday, 31 December, 2011

The night was beautiful and the young teenage girl loved to walk under the big oak trees that lined either side of the street.

Don't step on the crack, you'll break your mama's back! She said this each time she came to a crack in the sidewalk. The thick tree limbs with their beautiful leaves were making shadows on the sidewalk and alot of places were .. dark areas.

She thought she heard a little sound and put it off to her imagination. Don't step on the crack, you'll break your mama's..... back! There it was again... she felt alarm and began to listen closely.

As she walked she changed her pace to see if she'd hear something other than her feet walking on the sidewalk.. she did! She clearly heard another person walking... walking in the dark behind her. She looked back and couldn't see anything and she began to run on the sidewalk to get home as fast as she could. She lived in town and so, she wasn't far from the house.

She could hear someone behind her .. also, running! She got to the corner where she needed to turn... and she heard it....

'Faye... Faye... Faye'... and it sounded like a familiar voice, but, who was it? Why were they chasing her? She waited though, she didn't know who it was.. yet. She had alot of young cousins who walked also, that was how teenagers did... they walked alot in town to get to their destinations. Her mother didn't have a car.

In the nightlight she saw a young, black male coming toward her and he was calling softly 'Faye... Faye... Faye'. She didn't know him and she was so afraid! She didn't wait for him to get to her and began to run up the street... it was uphill, but, she was strong and ... she was fast!

She kept running until she got to her yard and slowed down to walk into the house. She didn't want to alarm her mother who would make her quit walking if she knew she was afraid. As she walked toward the door to her home, she kept looking back to see if that guy was there! She didn't see him.

She walked into a spider web and instantly began violently shaking.. and almost went to pieces. She kept slapping and 'wiping' to make sure if there was a spider on her... she got it off of her. She couldn't stand a spider and ... she was already so afraid!

She calmed down enough to go inside, all the while watching all around her, hoping her mother wouldn't see how afraid she'd been. All she wanted to do was to go to her bedroom to be to herself.

She walked inside and her mom said 'Faye, what's wrong? You look as white as a sheet!' I told her that I'd just walked into a spider web and it scared me!

I never knew who that black guy was who called me by a name only 'family' knew me by. I've wondered through the years why he was following me and I didn't wait around to ask him why was he running behind me. Something kept urging me to not stand there and 'run!'

I was talking to Skip about this... this evening and was wondering what would have happened if I'd just stood there so innocently to wait for him to get to me? I do remember I was so afraid but, I was so confused.... by him calling me by my 'family's name' for me... it was so familiar that while he was in the dark, it caused me to slow down long enough............................ 'Faye... Faye... Faye'.

I feel cold chills now, thinking about it. It causes more memories to surface that has to do with 'Faye, Faye, Faye'. God, I hate that name. I associate it with danger, fear and not good things... not many 'good' things.

That night I was almost fooled into thinking a family member was calling my name... it may have been the last time I would hear 'Faye'. I was afraid after that to walk though I lived in town... when I had to, I was so alert.

I just wonder...... don't you ever look back and wonder 'what would have happened?' It's one of those things one never knows the answer to.... I can sense that I was in danger and did the right thing.

The strange thing was that for a moment I remember thinking that 'tomorrow someone is going to laugh at me for running'... I had alot of pride, but, thankfully... I didn't stay to hold my ground on that one. Normally, I would have.

I don't answer to 'Faye... Faye... Faye'... I am going to run like h_____! I still feel that creepy feeling these years later.

Don't call me 'Faye'.... please. I have several cousins who do it today and it's okay for them to... I don't feel anything 'bad' from them.

Just call me ... Gloria, or call me Granny Gee... I like those names and my son named me Granny Gee... so, that's so special to me now. 'Gloria... Gloria... Gloria'................ 'Granny Gee... Granny Gee... Granny Gee'. I just tried them out ... they don't hold anything that makes me feel anything 'bad' about them.

I will go on to write about my aunt's boyfriend calling me 'Faye... Faye... Faye'..................