*****
(I look for 'myself' everywhere I go... somehow, when Tommy died... I went missing... I can only catch a glimpse of 'myself' once in a great while ... I have to hurry to see 'me', I try to photograph 'me', I have to be quick... because 'I get gone'... again.)
*****
To Get A Glimpse Of The Real... Me
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
I saw myself today in the mirror, I smiled
Hello! How are you? I've been searching all over for you
I told myself... now, here you are
How wonderful to see someone from the past
I only smiled bigger, watching how pretty my face became
I looked into my hazel green eyes, thought how kind they are
From my case, I took my cellphone out to use the camera
Captured 'myself' in several photos, looked at each
I saw an old friend as my fingers pulled each photo to look at
My old friend was myself whom I search for always because
You see... I have become an 'older' woman since Tommy died
I didn't know when I became one as I was living in a dark world, the world of grief
I can't describe how wonderful it is to see such a familiar face
In the mirror... one I know so well, see only rarely now
When I do, I stand, smile at myself, feel joy in my heart
As I try hard to not let me go away ... again
I want to stay young always, pretty forever... somehow the real me
Disappears... an older woman takes my place, when she smiles
It's a smile of sadness because she knows she's not the one I want to see in my mirror
Smiles with her pain-etched face, her grief-tired eyes... my heart goes out to myself...
I do like you, older woman, though I'll always try to look past you
Hopefully to regain my youth whenever I can from the mirrors who
Used to be my best friend in life, the only one I ever had love affairs with
I would smile at every mirror I saw... flirt, walk and dance, twirl in front of every one, all over the country
The mirrors loved me back... shining with a light within each
Shining out at me, on me as I made my world a stage where I reflected
Such joy, such happiness at being the 'prettiest girl in the world'
The young girl I'm always searching for ... to get a glimpse of the real... me
