See What Thinking About Something ... Gets You!!!?

See What Thinking About Something ... Gets You!!!?
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka #Granny Gee

Photo is of me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ aka #Granny Gee.  It is also, owned by me................


　

We stopped at a local grocery store today to pick up several things. We opened the glass door, waited to enter.

There are always so many people at this store ... people have to be patient with each other. Sometimes, one's patience wears thin. In the area we live in ... everyone knows the store I'm speaking of ... I don't even have to mention the name.

It's really nice to have a store like this, close by. A lot of people eat meats, because their meats are cheaper. Not only that, they are cut up each day, fresh.

Well, we finally got into the store, turned to the right to get a shopping cart. I went to put my hands on the handle ... I tell you right now ... I almost lost it!

I felt cold chills go down my spine, and I began going to pieces inside ... it almost made me ... create a scene. Now, I'm not ... going to create a scene if at all possible. If I do create a scene ... you know it was ... a 'have-to'.

I was having a heeby-geeby fit right in front of everyone ... but, no one saw a thing. I felt faint!

There was a darn ... praying mantis on the handle of that darn shopping cart! I almost put my hand on it! Oh, my God! I closed my eyes, and felt my body shake all over!!! I held my hands to my chest!

A Spanish man, and woman was standing behind us ... they did know something had just happened. The Spanish woman picked the praying mantis up ... took it outside. I admired that! They were very nice people ... we spoke to them several times as we waited to walk through the store.

The thought went through my mind ... that I had just wrote a story about the praying mantis in the butterbean vines! See what thinking about something ... gets you!?

Remember? I also, wrote about thinking about something ... and it appearing? Mmmmmm-mmmmm!!!

　

Photo/story credit is owned by me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka &grannygee

Greed ... Jealousy ... Spite ... Justice?

Greed ... Jealousy ... Spite ... Justice?
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka &grannygee

Photo of myself as a younger woman ... 'then' ... I had become as beautiful as my mother.  It was the first time I learned to love myself, happy to be 'me'!  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ aka Granny Gee





　

A little nine year old girl wades out into the ocean. She could hear her step-mother call her two ... sisters back. Don't go out too far, you hear?

She was the oldest; her middle sister was eight, and the youngest sister was seven.

No one ever called her to come back. Strange, this older woman today ... remembers that little nine year old girl at that ... particular time. This was a moment frozen in time ... in her mind.

It stands out to me because I can see it vividly in my mind ... the sunshine was very bright. I can see this little girl wading farther, and farther out into the water. I'll never forget turning to look back, and feeling the most alone in the water I'd ever felt.

I never thought about a shark ... I'd never heard the word shark at that time ... I didn't know 'something could get me' in that water.

I did hear shark! later, though. I heard my sister scream there was shark under the boardwalk! It was only a drunk vagrant squinting up at everyone to see what the commotion was about!

Everyone was on the sand ... no one had come out as far as I had. They seemed so far away. I remember looking at the people on the sand ... I couldn't see their faces, but ... I knew where my 'family' was. I saw two little girls standing there.

I tilted my head down on my right shoulder, looking at them. Why ... didn't they tell me to come back? They must not have worried about me, I was the oldest.

I never forgot this moment in time ... I must have instinctly known something was wrong, 'then'. Because 'now', I know what they hoped. It took all these years, and events to convince me. I've always 'connected dots' ... if I'm patient, I do a good job.

I made it back to shore, turned around to look at how far I had waded to. It was ... so far away.

No one said a word to me. Maybe ... they were glad I made it back, and didn't ... want to make a big deal out of it.

A nine year old little girl just met her father for the first time. She was sent to live with him ... he had a wife, two children. She cried hysterically for her mama ... she heard her stepmother tell everyone not to mention her mama's name near her.

This was the prelude to Hell ... to prepare her for the ... real Hell, she was sent to live in, after she left her father's home. The strange thing in that Hell ... she was loved at the same time everyone wanted her out of the way. If she was beaten, she was still ... loved. If she was hated ... she was still loved.

The little girl was too naive to wonder why ... the stepmother was so strict with her ... she was always fussed at. 'Gloria Faye'! 'Gloria Faye'! It was always 'Gloria Faye'!

She won ... in the end. She paid me back for being my father's first child; and being his first wife's child. She did the unforgiveable ... just before she died. I forgave her, and ... the others.

She did what she did at the time I, myself had almost died. I had had surgery ... diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma (cancer). She did 'what she did' in the three years I fought for my life.

The irony of it ... she died with cancer not long after she 'did what she did'. Justice?

I connected the dots, asked the right questions ... yes, she did a terrible thing. Greed ... jealousy, spite ...to hurt a person who only happened to be the child of someone she dearly hated. She paid me back for being my mother's daughter. She hated me for being my father's first child.

I hear her hateful voice in my mind, sometimes, yelling ... "Gloria Faye"!

Greed, jealousy, spite ... justice?

　

Photo/ true story by, owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ aka #Granny Gee

That's What We Get ... For Skipping Church!

That's What We Get ... For Skipping Church!
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Photo Credit is mine, owned by me.  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ aka &granny gee .  Photo is of me!



　

I was trembling inside with excitement! For the time-being, I was free as a bird! Not only that, I was with a group of wild girls. We all were thirteen, fourteen. We might meet a boy!

We were all walking toward the ocean, where an old fort was at. I couldn't wait to see a ... real fort! I was fascinated ... I wanted to see!

Everyone was giggling, laughing. We bumped into each other playfully, grinning all the while. Someone said we might just meet a handsome boy on the way! A handsome boy! My, that would top our evening!

We were at summer camp in Fort Caswell, North Carolina. I'll never forget how excited I was to get to go. Why? I never could go anywhere other kids went ... I missed out on all the wonderful kids' movies, events ... I always listened to the girls talking in the background ... wishing ... I could have went.

I remember being in the Brownies for a short time ... oh, how I loved it. When my my mother left me in Hell ... I never remembered going back. It seemed everything I loved, meant something to me 'got gone'. Looking back to then ... that's exactly what happened.

A little girl who was growing up to be somebody ... became nobody when she was left in Hell ... what a way to go.

No one had money to give me to do anything other kids did. I began to think how 'things were possible for others ... not possible for me ... I had become a ... nobody'. The other girls got Barbie Dolls; how I always wished for one ... but, I never told anyone.

I knew there wasn't any money to buy me one. I don't recall asking for a lot as a child ... I just 'knew' ... the good things weren't for someone like me. The rich kids got them ... they were better than me.

Who, what, when ... where ... I don't know how I got to possibly go to summer camp! It was wonderful ... just pure ... wonderful. I was the happiest young girl in the world. I was at the ocean! I was away from Hell ... all I heard was laughing, happiness all around me!

We didn't notice it was beginning to be late evening. We arrived at the old fort ... I could see huge, flat ... round steps leading to a big, rounded doorway ... it didn't have a door.

Now, I was a chubby, young girl, but ... I was used to fighting for survival, playing ball, climbing trees, running, walking. I didn't think about being chubby at that time ...

All of a sudden ... my eyes caught something white ... I quit laughing. Not only that ... a quietness came over all the girls at the same time! We all were facing that big, rounded door full of black ... darkness!

A white ghost appeared ... in his right hand, it held a long, pointed knife (all was white!) He was coming toward us ... we couldn't move, we were all frozen to the ground.

I remember holding my breath ... I felt weak! I couldn't believe my eyes. A ghost! He was coming to get us! Oh, my God! Run!

My foot wouldn't move ... I tried to take off. I felt like I would faint! All of a sudden, where my foot was frozen to the ground, it let go! I ran like hell ... it broke the spell over the other girls ... I could hear them behind me! We were like racing horses running to win a race!

We saw a big, wide ditch ahead ... I never thought I couldn't clear it! I sailed over that damn ditch like nobody's business ... I looked back quickly to see other girls jumping, landing in the ditch only to scramble to get out! I didn't slow down.

I beat them all to the church we were supposed to be at in the first place. I ran quietly into the bathroom. I put my hands over my mouth, I was laughing hysterically. Fear makes one act just damn crazy!

One by one, the girls came into the bathroom. They were laughing with their hands holding their mouth! Their hair, eyes looked wild. I never thought about myself.

We began asking each other what the other saw ... we all saw the very same thing!

It came to my mind, and I voiced it. "That's what we get for skipping church"!


Photo, and true story are mine; both are owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka #Granny Gee

Things Have A Way Of Appearing , If You Think About Them!

Things Have A Way Of Appearing, If You Think About Them!
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ aka Granny Gee

When we were little ... children played outside all the time ... every chance they got.  We played tag, marbles, in the sand ... ball.  We even threw clods of dirt at each other (that wasn't nice!).  We pitched dimes up to the line drawn in the sand (we were mean little kids ... I learned a lot when I was sent to Hell ).  Photos are of me before being sent to Hell ... a trusting little girl.  They are owned by me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka #Granny Gee


　

Sitting there ... hidden from the world, a little girl sat. She was trying to make herself be quiet. She was afraid she was going to be found! She was breathing too hard! She ran to find the first place she knew she wouldn't be found at.

She was inside ... the butterbean vines. They draped over a cord to hang down on each side. They were full of butterbeans, and lush, green leaves. She loved hiding here. She didn't want to be found! She didn't want to be 'It' ...

She sat there listening to the squeals when the other children were being found ... when she froze.

Do you know how you look at something ... and all appears to be fine? But ... as you stare, things become clearer to you?

The little girl pulled the vine back to peek out, quickly pulled it back. There her cousin was! She held her breath ...

As her little head went back to get another deep breath ... she saw it! She almost fainted! Oh no! It was looking straight at her, and it was turning its head! It seemed to stare through her! It was the same color as the leaves!

The little girl froze, hoping it would just go away! It didn't, in fact ... it began rubbing its 'hands' together. The little girl knew he was warming up to get her! She was trying so, hard to be quiet ...

The damn thing jumped at her! It was long ... it was going to get her! She began having a hissy fit! She began screaming, breaking those vines from the cord that held them. She came out of the butterbeans like a banshee from hell!

She ran until she had to stop ... began shaking all over. Just the idea of that thing touching her!

From then, on ... she was afraid of praying mantis ... they looked too intelligent. Their 'arms' were too long! Even today ... she can't look directly at one ... nor touch a photo of one!

In fact, she doesn't let herself think of one ... because things have a way of ... appearing if you think about them! Same way with those damn ... kididdlehoppers!

　

Photo/Story Credit belongs to me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ aka &grannygee

You Don't Have To Look The Part ... To Cheat!

You Don't Have To Look The Part ... To Cheat!
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Photo Credit:  is of me ... owned by me.  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ aka Granny Gee





At one time in my life (no matter that I am a sissy!) ... I would have made a good mechanic. Yes, a mechanic. I am mechanically inclined. Sometimes ... I like to take something apart.

I had a computer some years ago ... it was still new. I take good care of my things. It quit working one day ... this was when I sat down ... took it apart. Of course, I didn't know what worked what.

I looked around at the shiny parts in it ... all were new, all was 'clean as a whistle'. I put it the cover back on ... and plugged it in. It worked!

I didn't know it, but ... the power cord needed replacing. Later, after I learned an expensive lesson ... not only an expensive lesson, but ... also ... what kind of computer person I took it to, was dishonest.

I took it to a local computer shop, asked the guy to find out what was wrong. He called me to say it was the ... mother board. He repaired my computer ... I took it home, opened the tower up to see what he did.

I sat there in shock. He had put a dusty box the power cord plugs into ... inside my computer. Not only that ... the box had a name printed on it with a Sharpie pen ... it had been marked through! I was angry.

I didn't want to call him while being 'burning-mad' ... I waited until I could talk nicely to him. I told him that he'd put someone else's parts in my computer ... I knew my parts!

His answer was ... "I must have gotten someone else's part mixed up with yours". I knew it wasn't so ... I 'knew' it.

He told me to come by, he'd give me a brand-new part. I did ... it was in a box that'd never been opened. I never went back to him ... I couldn't trust him at all, now.

The sad thing is ... both Skip and I thought a lot of him. He sure didn't look the type who'd cheat. Later, I found out ... we weren't the only ones.

You don't have to look the part ... to cheat!

　

Photo/Story Credit belongs to Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee ( &grannygee)



　

Black Widow Spiders!

Black Widow Spiders!
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Photo of Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka #Granny Gee ... Owned by me.  You don't want to be bitten by a Black Widow spider! 


　

Not long ago, when Skip was out on a big truck, he was in an area where one had to use the portable toliets provided to the workers. He didn't like to use them ... in this case, it was a 'had to'...

His experience should be a lesson to us all ... look around you if, when you have to go ... in a portable toliet!

He went inside, and as he took care of business, his eyes were drawn to the corner of the toliet. Lo, and behold ... there were spiders there! Not just any spider ....

There were young Black Widow spiders moving around. Skip said he got the heck out of Dodge!

He went to the supervisor there, told him about it. Someone could be bitten by a Black Widow spider. The supervisor placed yellow tape around the toliet to prevent someone going in there.

Have you ever been bitten by a Black Widow spider? I was bitten as a very young child ... the spider was beautiful with the red on it. Of course, I was attracted to the color ... innocent of what a Black Widow was.

I do remember my arm being on fire, and the Emergency Room. I've been deathly afraid of Black Widows, and any spider since. I can't even put my finger on one ... in a photo!

　

Photo/Story owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka &grannygee

This Was A Walmart Funny!

This Was A Walmart Funny!
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Photo of me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee ... what's funny to you ... might not be funny to me.  Yes ... I realize what's funny to me ... may not be funny to you.  It's the way life is!  Regardless, I thought this was funny!




　

My husband, Skip, stopped by Walmart to pick up a couple of things. He went up to the cash register aisle to pay for all.

As he walked up, the cashier told him he sure looked bright today! Skip had on a neon green shirt (I love that color!). He made a funny comment to her, she laughed.

She picked up a pair of gloves, began putting them on her hands. Skip looked at her, said ... "What are you going to do!? I only came in here to purchase a couple of things"!

The cashier stopped for a moment, it dawned on her what Skip meant ... she began laughing.

Skip used to keep Tommy laughing with all his jokes. Skip is very quick on his feet to think of a 'come back' ... when there are jokes involved. I love his sense of humor. So, did my mother ... because she had to watch him to be sure if something was true, or not. Skip kept her on her toes!

I laughed a lot when Skip told me ... it's hard to make me get tickled at something ... but, when it's really funny ... I love it!

This was a 'Walmart' funny!

Photo/Story owned by me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ aka #Granny Gee

I Came From A Hell Of A Family!

I Came From A Hell Of A Family!
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Photo of me being silly ... you know ... life is life ... we are what we are ... no matter how one tries to pretend they are something else.  I am myself ... and that's the way it is.  I hope people will like me, if they don't ... I hope they will decide to.  I am a good person, regardless of where I come from.  Looking back, I can see the humor in the Hell I grew up in, also.  There was some good things ... sometimes.


　

When I'm dead, and gone ... you are going to wish you'd been good! Oh, Grandma, you're never going to be ... dead and gone, never!

My Grandma Alma would always say that, and say ... when I'm dead and gone, you are going to miss me. I just thought she was saying that ... you know how ... old people are! They are always talking like ... they know everything!

Even George thought he knew everything! You are going to wish you had listened to me, he'd say. Blah, blah, blah. As much as I loved my Grandma Alma, George ... I ... was the one who ... knew it all!

I wonder how in the world they ever stood all of us kids? They never complained. When I saw tears was when one of the mothers would come get us, take us away for God knows how long. Some grandchildren they never saw again ... for the rest of their life. I could see the pain in Grandma Alma's eyes.

It's a good thing Grandma Alma couldn't walk ... she had five daughters who gave her a time ... especially four of them. She would have done some ... serious ass-kicking. She was a force to be reckoned with in the shape she was in.

Grandma Alma was paralyzed, and she could throw a mean glass of water, though! Not only that ... she could lay a cussing on someone that make the flowers wilt. Not that she liked to ... but, what else could a paralyzed woman do in a world she couldn't control. I'd break ... some kind of bad, too! I'd crawl to whip me an ass! Low-crawl! (Tommy and Skip taught me that word, what it means! :)

Poor Grandma Alma, and George. What a pathetic life they had ... everyone else determined what their days were going to be like. If they wanted a peaceful day ... someone would come in to raise Hell ... the devil lived in that house. There was never no peace.

They were only two ... they were out-numbered by the many family members who came to 'stage a show' in the center of their sitting room. More blood was on that old, wooden floor than anyone could shake a stick at!

Hair was pulled, teeth gnashed, and the God-awful sounds came from someone beating the hell out of the other. The strange thing was ... all the Hell was never beaten out of anyone. I still carry a little of that Hell in me to this day.

I have a very high temper ... the good thing is, I've learned to control it. It's very rare do I lose it ... and when I lose it ... I want to get out of Dodge. I inherited that famous temper ... I'm not proud of it at all. The only time it's a good thing is ... when I ... need to take care of business ... I will ... hold my ground.

All of my family members had a 'hell of a temper'... and they always held their ground. I don't know of one, when looking back ... who would walk away when someone tried to dominate them ... no matter how little they were. If for any reason someone did ... that person had better watch out later on in life. If I did, I would just smile ... and be patient.

It's no fun being angry. I grew up in a quiet way, when I could control my world. I have never liked to hear angry voices ... it makes my stomach feel shaky ... and if I hear someone hit the other ... I feel anger. What kind of reaction is that?

Anyway, I love peace ... not many of my family members did. There were always instigators who thrived on the excitement of another family member or 'friend's' .... turmoil, unhappiness. They would wear a gleeful smile on their faces. I think of several ones right this moment ... see their expressions in my mind. Some of them could be pure evil ...

I just don't like to hurt anyone physically ... or mentally. I will do all I can ... to not hurt anyone. On the other hand ... if I'm pushed, dominated, treated bad ... all Hell's going to break out. It's the way I am ... I have to be a damn to my own Hell. It was born in me.

I've heard people all my life say, "Gloria, you're too sweet to ever get mad". All I could do was smile sweetly ...

I'm not proud of having Hell in me ... but, whether I like it, or anyone else likes it ... it's there, and has been since the moment I was brought into this world. I came from a Hell of a family!

　

Note by this author:

I came from a hell of a family, that's true. But ... I loved everyone of them. Everyone had a good heart when they weren't angry, or hating. We were all born that way, hated to see it in the other. No one could ever be close because ... everyone was too much ... alike.

They'd give you the shirt off their back, but ... if you pissed them off ... they'd damn sure take it back! I can see the humor in some of it ... I smile even now. I wish they were all living again. I wasn't afraid of the ... big, bad wolf.

There's not one that I wouldn't welcome back ... no matter how mean. Everyone of my family members had a place in my Heart. I wish they hadn't ... died. They loved life, too.

Photo... Story Credit: Is mine, both are owned by me. Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ aka &grannygee
　

You Are A Damn He Man!

You Are A Damn He Man!
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Grandma Alma, and George ... the most colorful characters in my young life.  I loved them with my very Heart.  They lived in Hell ... they didn't have a choice.  They had a lot of love, though.  Sometimes, even that ... wasn't enough.


　

It ain't no such a damn thing! The blind man was mad. His wife had just accused him of the next door neighbor! What was she thinking? He was blind ... couldn't see a damn thing!

The woman sat in her old, upholstered rose-colored chair. She was paralyzed. She had one good side, one 'bad' side' She could use her left arm, hand, leg. She reached with her left hand for her famous glass of cold water. It sat up on the old, dusty dresser beside her chair.

The old dresser held Grandma Alma's many bottles of medicines. The mirror on it had a permanent 'fog' ... you could only see shadows in the glass. George always had Grandma Alma a glass of water, with ice in it ... it always sat there for her. There was a permanent water ring where it sat.

Faye was holding her breath ... she knew what was going to come next if George didn't quit hollering. She looked around ... she saw her cousins in the room next to George and Grandma Alma's sitting room. All the kids were snickering ... they all knew what Grandma Alma was getting ready to do!

You damn he man! Grandma Alma yelled at George that he was a 'he man'! Those were always her famous words. She had just pressed the right spot with George ... he began hollering that he wasn't a he man ... and he didn't go with the next door neighbor!

Well ... that did it with Grandma Alma! That hollering pissed her off! She dashed that glass of cold water on George, right in his face! Talk about hollering, George did let out a roar.

In the next room, unknowing to them ... all the children were rolling on the floor. They had their hands over their mouths ... it was so funny! They had seen this scene play out time after time.

George would make Grandma Alma mad ... and the next thing they knew, she would make him roar like a lion ... then, she'd throw that famous glass of cold water on him! That should cool your ass off ... you damn he man!

Grandma Alma would sit there afterwards ... with a grin on her face. It reminded one of a cat ... licking its lips in satisfaction! She'd say it again ... 'You are a damn he man'!

..........................

..........................

This is a true story from my childhood. George, my step-grandfather ... was the only grandfather I knew. I loved him dearly. He was blind ... couldn't see anything.

Grandma Alma was paralyzed ... she could drag her foot when George helped her to walk. Her 'bad' arm would dangle as she walked. She held onto the walker with her 'good' hand. George would walk her each day to the front screen door.

She would look out at the flowers she loved ... the flowers she used to work in ... in the heat. She had a stroke that put her in a coma for months. She woke up paralyzed.

All of us children were very young. One day Grandma Alma was walking ... the next, she was in a sterile room with all white around her ... she never spoke anymore. We'd tip-toe into the bedroom where she was, reach up to touch her face. She never woke up.

Grandma Alma, George had only Hell in their lives. It wasn't that they chose to have it ... all the bad stuff would come there to them. They didn't have to look for any of it.

How they lived in the world they did, blind and paralyzed ... I'll never know. My mind goes back often to 'see them' ... I could see they'd fuss at each other to blow off steam.

It would look, sound bad to anyone ... I'm sure. But, they loved each other with their Hearts. They didn't mean to be like that ... but, what else could they do to get out pent-up frustrations.

They were the kindest people in the world. They never turned anyone down to come live with them. They had no money, barely enough food for themselves. They just had lots of love. Even with all the love in their Hearts ... they couldn't stop all the 'bad stuff' that happened.

Both would cry for the children, and what happened to them through time ... all of the children ended up at their house at one time or other.

Hell ... no one knows the Hell at that house ... in my young mind ... that house sat over the portal of Hell. The devil was always around ... hell was raised all the time!

Story/Photo are both owned by me ... Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ &grannygee

They Were The Kindest Of Them All ...

They Were The Kindest Of Them All ...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Photo of Skip, and our Kissy.  We have two more Pups named Chadwick Elsworth, and Camie Rose.  They are my whole world ...


　

The elderly, blind man sat in his old wooden chair on the front porch. He was smiling softly ... the smile even lit up his sightless eyes.

The little girl sitting at his feet looking up at his face ... smiled back at him. She loved to see George smile ... she always tried to make him smile. His smile touched this little girl's Heart ... it was so kind, sweet. George was the kindest man she ever knew in her little girl life.

She was excited ... wished the other kids would come on. George was going to tell stories about Brer Rabbit, Three Bears, and who knew what else! George could make the kids 'see' the story as he told it!

She sat on the cool cement of the front porch, waited eagerly. She saw her cousins walking up to the house. They're coming, George, they're coming!

She picked at her big toe ... she'd stumped it the other day. She was always getting hurt. To keep up with all the boys, she had to be tough ... it wasn't easy. No, it wasn't easy at all ... but, she damn sure did it!

The little girl leaned her head against George's knee. She listened to the other kids as they were shoving, pushing each other to sit down. I'm sitting here! No, I want to sit there!

George told them to hush that noise if they wanted him to tell them stories. That shut the children up ... there wasn't nothing like George's stories!

Everyone quietened down. They sat in a semi-circle around George. They waited.

George cleared his throat ... and began. He began to talk in Brer Rabbit's voice ... the story was on!

The kids sat mesmerized for the next hour. George had transported them into a make-believe world. It was wonderful, special. The little girl loved it. She could tell stories, too. She'd learned from George ... only his was the best!

George finished up with the last story. He told the children it was time for him to go inside, and see if Grandma Alma needed anything.

Faye, the little girl, looked up at him ... thinking he was the best grandpa in the world. She loved him with her little girl Heart. He was always so kind to her, to others. He sure loved Grandma Alma.

Until this day ... she only knew three of the kindest men she'd ever known. George being the first ... Skip being the second ... and their friend ... being the third.

In her whole life ... that's saying a lot ... those three men were the most kindest men of all. She loved them all with her Heart. They were the kindest of all.

　

Photo is owned by me ... Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ &grannygee

Story is true ... I was the little girl named Faye. Story is owned by me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Colors Of Life Make The World Go 'Round ...

Colors Of Life Make The World Go 'Round ...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Skip and I ... we were always told we were a beautiful couple.  My Hero, Soulmate, Best Friend.  Photo owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee  ...





　

You are scaring me! Don't tell anymore scary stories, Faye! Of course, this prompted me to tell more gory stories ... embellishing them with all kind of details! I loved scaring my cousins with my made-up stories. I could tell funny ones, too!

One of my cousins ... would tell me I was scaring her, and she could see my eyes glowing in the dark! She died in a horrible crash with a log truck. It was really a bad time ... our home had just burned down several days before.

I remember in my shock ... that both of us were in the newspaper at the same time... house burns down; horrible crash. We would have never imagined such growing up ... several months before that ... her brother, my cousin committed suicide (many people say it wasn't suicide).

My imagination works overtime ... not all the time, but ... a lot of the time. I think of the craziest things ... don't ask me 'where' it all comes from. I have cousins who are like me ... they also, loved to write. In fact, no one knew that I loved to write all these years! Not until after Tommy died ... I think I shocked everyone.

In fact, some people seemed to resent it very much. Especially when I got a book in print. When I'd see 'old friends' ... it seemed to piss them off. In fact, one woman began backing away from me ... she didn't believe me ... she thought I'd lost it because my son died.

I'll never forget how she hurt my Heart ... I would have expected better of her. I don't even acknowledge her when I see her ... it's like she is a stranger. You know ... give a polite smile, go your way.

I guess I would have to say, expect losing some 'friends' if you write (notice I put parentheses around 'friends' ... that means ... they were never friends to begin with ... I 'see' through people).

They hate you, are jealous of you ... or they hope you'll be famous, and 'they are your friends, relatives', then. If they find out you aren't famous ... they quickly drop you. It's funny ... when/if the day comes ... they won't be a part of it.

I am not famous, just an unknown author. I don't mind being that ... I did what I wanted, I'm so glad I did. I wrote a book about my grief when my only child, my son ... Tommy, died. He won't ever be forgotten ... never- ever. He is the reason I began writing, letting others know I write.

I accomplished what I meant to ... people all over the world know who Tommy was ... they won't forget him for me. It means the world to me.

My second book is a thin book ... an introductory to Victoria Fairchild. She is my main character ... she's the kind of person who takes care of business if she sees someone mistreating either animals, or people. She will do whatever it takes ... even to the point of making sure ... it never happens again.

My third book, is about the little puppy I rescued. For some time, I couldn't write at all after that book. I went through a lot of pain, grief never knowing 'why?' As the months rolled on, I began to come back ... to write again.

My three published books can sell ... or not sell ... I don't worry about them ... I just keep writing. Not only that ... I have copyrights to them ... I'm happy to have them! I've never held a book signing, yet ... it doesn't matter. Maybe it will some day, right now ... it's no big deal ... don't ask me 'why?' ... I sure need the money, would welcome the money.

Lately, it's felt really good to write about something ... about nothing ... just write. I'm inspired enough to work on my second Victoria Fairchild book. I want it to be just the scariest book! Victoria Fairchild is a wonderful person ... and the best person to have on your side. She is going to be just as bad ... as she is good. She will use her imagination to take care of 'bad' people.

No matter what someone thinks ... the world always needs someone mean enough ... tough enough ... to protect the weak. Someone who will go to any lengths to protect once ... and for all; Victoria Fairchild meets all that ... and more. She doesn't leave loose ends that can come back to bite one in the ass.

She has a cousin who is 'tit for tat' ... she has powers, also. You'd never believe what she paints her paintings with. She is just as dark as Victoria is fair. Neither knows how far the other's powers go ...

These are some of the thoughts in my mind on this Monday evening. Fall time is around the corner ... it's my favorite time of the year. I actually feel excitement this year.

In fact, since Tommy died in 2010 ... it's taken this long for me to begin to feel excitement about anything. I can't believe the actual thrill inside when I think about fall things, the State Fair, holidays. I'm so thankful to feel all these things once again.

Once I accepted Tommy can't come back no matter what I do ... and that he knew I loved him with my Heart ... he loved his mother with his Heart (me) ... that it's okay to begin living life again ... gradually, I have gotten better.

I look back at the journey I have been on ... and think 'Oh God' ... it was so scary, lasted so long, so dark. A part of me died ... my only child ... I can't believe I've come this far ... I made it ... I really made it through. I'm amazed ... because I ... knew the thoughts that were in my mind, 'then'.

Yes, I made it through the darkness ... the darkest of dark I've ever experienced in my life. I'm glad I can't remember 'all', now. Everything seems ... like a dream. But ... that's the way of 'bad' things ... it really does take time ... to get past them.

I think sometimes, I worry someone will think ... I am bad ... when I'm writing my scary story :) Then again, one can't control the characters in a book ... the story has to go on. The characters do, speak for themselves ... you just write them.

You don't tell your characters what to do ... they tell you what they will do ... your hand just brings them to life, just as a potter makes a beautiful vase. You weave your words like a weaver ... splashing colors here, there to make it interesting to read.

Scary colors ... happy colors ... sad colors ... mad colors. Colors of life make the world go 'round.



Photo/Story owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ aka Granny Gee
　

I Learned The Hard Way!

I Learned The Hard Way!
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Photo of a much younger Granny Gee ... Gloria Faye Brown Bates .... photo owned by me

　

I wonder what stays in the back of everyone's mind? I know I have several things in the back of mine. Worry over this, worry over that. Do you do that, also?

Though, I worry ... I pretty-much stay positive ... knowing somehow ... everything's going to be alright. Do you think like that?

It's because 'I know' ... without knowing, all will work out in a good way. Still ... I do find myself worrying at times. Life is a struggle at times; do you agree?

I remember the 'good old days' when we didn't struggle. I remember how it felt for all to fall into place. Didn't worry about bills, eating in nice restaurants, going here ... there; traveling. It was a happy time. Especially, going shopping at any given time. I never looked at a price tag.

Well, I remember my mother saying, "Faye, don't fly so high that you can't fall". :) I'm old enough to understand what she meant. Damn, a lot of those old sayings are so ... true! I fell right on my ass! :) I flew too high ...

I've learned many of life's lessons the hard way ... I promise you, that I learned good not to repeat mistakes. It isn't worth wasting time, nor ... feeling the pain from them.

I've also, tried to learn from ... others' mistakes. It's much easier to do that ... then, it saves time ... not only that ... it doesn't hurt at all!

Of course, just like I've always told you ... I am not perfect at all ... and I still say, do things that just aren't perfect at all! Doesn't it seem like one could get perfect after learning so much?

Younger people who think they have the world by the tail ... might heed some of the 'old people's sayings'. Why? Because, I, now ... know they knew things I didn't know. Why? Because ... they did things, and like me ... I learned the hard way!

　

Photo/Story Credit: Both are owned by me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka &grannygee

The Keeper Of Ashes ...

The Keeper Of Ashes ...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

　

That fateful morning, around 7:30-8:00 am ... I opened the back door to go out to my truck. I was going to exercise. I always went early, to have it behind me.

Something made me look back through the house. At first, my eyes couldn't comprehend the red glow coming from the window where the other porch was. My heart caught in my throat ... Skip! Our house is on fire!

Instantly, we went into action. I began saving our three dogs while Skip ran to see what was happening.

We lost everything in that house fire. It was in the dead of winter. I'll never forget rummaging through the debris, trying to just find ... something of ours, that didn't burn. I'll never forget the people stopping there who ... began to pick up things, leave with them. I never knew people stole from someone when their whole life lay in a pile of rubble.

I came across a gray container ... oh my God, it was my mother's ashes. They'd been burned once again ... cremated; now, the container was partially melted where the fire burned it. I couldn't believe it. It hurt my Heart, deeply.

I picked the container up with my freezing hands. I was so cold. I got black soot on my bare hands. I put the container with my mother's ashes in a little pile of 'things' I'd found in the rubble.

My heart was grieving for my mother as I searched for any little thing that survived the fire. I didn't know anyone was there until a voice said, "take these gloves, Gloria". It was a man Skip and I liked very much. He told me he knew my hands must be cold. My Heart was warmed, because someone cared.

The container of ashes now, sit in the Rose Chest, I have for my mother's ashes. I have other things inside that are hers, also. I can't tell you exactly what ... because like my son's chest, I can't bear to open it.

It sits beside my brother's chest. It holds my brother's ashes. Also, in it are some things that were his. I don't know who will care for the ashes if something should happen to us.

I did have my cousin's ashes, until I sent them to his sister in Oregon. He is where he belongs, now. I'm so happy she has them ... they are buried beside their mother, in a beautiful place.

I remember some years ago ... my grandson's mother called me ... 'the keeper of ashes'.



　

Photos owned by me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee (My mother's ashes/charred container... Mama's Rose Chest) ...

Story is true, and is owned by me ... Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

She Ate Her Dog ... Without Knowing It!

She Ate Her Dog ... Without Knowing It!
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka #Granny Gee

Artwork by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ aka #Granny Gee.  Her glasses are litte wire glasses I shaped with my hands; also her earrings ... bracelet on her right arm.  :)

He made supper for his girlfriend. Candles sat on the table ... creating a relaxing atmosphere. Her face looked beautiful in the candlelight. He kissed her on the forehead as he went to sit down across from her.

She felt a soft glow in her heart. He had went to all the trouble of making her a beautiful meal. This was very special, indeed. What made it more special was ... they'd had a big argument that morning. The biggest argument ever.

She saw a new light come in his eyes, that she'd never seen before. It was disturbing, because at the same time ... a sinister little grin came across his lips. She had all but, forgotten that now, as she sat at the beautiful meal he had made for her.

For a brief moment, she felt grief for her little dog. She usually fed him tidbits under the table when she ate. He went missing several days ago.

Her boyfriend was speaking. He told her he'd fixed her a special meal because he wanted to make her feel better. He knew they'd argued, and her little dog was missing. He was sorry for both.

As they ate, they talked about many things. For a moment, she wondered if the tender meat was pork, or chicken. They tasted similar. The gravy made it delicious. She asked him which it was ... but, he didn't hear her. He kept making conversation.

The evening wrapped up, and they went upstairs to bed. She slept close in his arms the whole night through.

The next day at work, she heard his special text tone on her phone. She had to wait several minutes before reading it. She finished making copies, went to her desk to sit down.

She turned her Iphone on, and looked for his text message. She came across it, eagerly looking forward to what it said.

The message appeared on her screen ... this is what it said:

How did it feel to eat your dog for supper, yesterday? I'd love to be there this moment to see the expression on your face. I hate you, you bitch! You and your dog deserve each other ... now, you both ... are one, and the same!



　

Photo Credit is of me, owned by me ... Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka &grannygee .

Story is mine, owned by me. It is based on a true story ... only I embellished it by writing more details I imagined ... to tell it.

When I Love ... I Love

When I Love ... I Love
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

My son, Tommy's photo, sitting on the upholstered chest that holds the only things I have left of him.  I didn't know my Heart could be put back together again when he died ... Skip, my Hero ... and Pups ... made life worth living again.  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ aka #Granny Gee




　

Afraid ... to become close to another person

Outside my private world ...

Pain ... the thought of losing yet another loved one

When for now, I only have my world I'm close to

Realizing life ... death is the way it is

You, I ... there's nothing we can do about it

Acceptance ... takes longer for some to reach

I reached it in four years after the death of my child

I had no choice in the matter

Either I accepted ... or I quit living, or ... slowly ... go crazy

Three choices I had ... I've always loved life

No matter that life has been hard for me at times

I chose to accept ... to live my life out

Why? Because, there is nothing I can do, say

To change a thing ... I can cry, scream, roll on the floor

It doesn't get me a damn thing ... I'm tired of being sad

I can be happy while ... I grieve for my son ... in a good way

He has done something ... we all have to do one day

Die ... we are born ... live life ... and whether we want to ... or not

We each are going to have to die ... no one can change this fact of life

How many times have I told myself these things in the past 4 years?

I can't remember ... I can't see back through the darkness I came through

How in the world ... did I make it back out to the light

Learn to smile again ... to feel the wind on my face?

Live life once again ... care?

How? My precious husband ... my hero ... made me strong

Strong enough to come back ... from the worse thing to happen in my life

I made it back through many 'bad' things ... this time, I wouldn't have if it hadn't been for ... him

My whole world left now ... is my husband, three Pups

Outside them ... I'm careful whom I become close to

I don't invite unwanted, extra pain

I only become ... so close ... to anyone today

I don't fool myself ... I know my Heart

It cares a lot, I just don't show it ... when I Love ... I Love




Photo/words are of, by me, owned by me ... Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka #Granny Gee
　

Black Softness ...

Black Softness ...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Artwork by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ aka Granny Gee ... I did this doodle while thinking about Tommy, my son ... who died May 29, 2010 by the ocean, running ... playing with his three-year old son.  He collapsed ... no one knew he was sick.  He had two blockages to his heart at the age of 40.  I went into the soft darkness ... for almost three years.  I've learned to cope with his death ... I can be alright, now.  It was the worse thing to happen in my entire life (and many, many 'bad' things have happened) ...

　

We squeal with joy when we are surprised

Scream with pain, when a loved one is injured



Smile when our loved one walks into a room

Cry when they have to go away



We become frightened if something happens

Until we know all is right, we calm down



Become numbed by shock when bad happens

Live in darkness, a blanket of protection



To hide us until we become strong once again

Black softness ... what would we do without it



I've lived in black softness all around me

Blocking out the pain ... knowledge my son was dead



Only if I tried to come out to the light, did I feel

Grief, pain until I could run to darkness for safety



Safety for my sanity ... I would surely go crazy

I didn't have to see, feel, hear in darkness



I guess I could describe darkness as being as close to death

As I could get ... I didn't know there was life ... anywhere



Grief ... should be part of my name ... I know it so well

Grief, shock, pain have been so much a part of my life



The strange thing is ... no matter how bad something is

I still believe ... everything's going to be alright



If I didn't believe, I would have stayed under the blanket

Of ... black softness

　



Poem is written, owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Photo is owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ aka Granny Gee
　

If You Lie To A Dog ... You'll Do Anything!

If You Lie To A Dog ... You'll Do Anything!
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Precious, sweet Camie is napping after getting her medicinal bath.  She is the Pup I rescued.  She has many friends on her Facebook page:  https://www.facebook.com/camocameobates  Come be her friend ... I keep her page updated. 




Have you ever watched from afar ... people who don't realize you notice them?


Have you ever notice how people deceive, lie to their loved ones? How the loved ones will justify all they do, give them undeserved credit? Isn't it sad?


When a person is in love ... they trust, believe in the person they love. You are ... supposed to be able to do that ... whether married, or not.


I notice relationships that make me sad. I wish I didn't think about them ... notice. I am a person who believes in being loyal, true to the person who trusts you. It's an honor for another human being to trust one. Do ... you know how hard it is to trust? Sure, you do.


I see people play on their loved one's emotions, constantly. Lies are constantly told. No matter, the loved one can't see it for the love in their hearts. Love blinds some people.


People who lie, cheat, deceive ... seem to get to 'have their cake, eat it, too'. Have you noticed? They make out 'like fat cats'. Even the ugliest people ... because 'everyone knows they can trust an ugly person'. They 'can't get anyone else'. That's where people get fooled, and get ... what they deserve when they think such things.


An ugly person can cheat, lie even better. No one expects them to do that. But ... I'm not talking about ugly people, beautiful people ... or in between. I'm talking about relationship trust ... trust from a person who loves the ground you walk on ... even trust from a dog.


I've never cheated ... but, that doesn't mean I'm perfect. I am just very loyal, and mostly very ... truthful. I don't like to lie, deceive ... even to people I ... don't like. I don't even like to tell my dogs ... a lie!


It feels bad to tell them something ... not do it. A dog's feelings are important, too. They love, trust unconditionally. The sad thing is ... they love you even if you are a lying, deceitful person as long as you treat them good. Lying, deceitful people have dogs, too.


You know you don't want to lie to a dog ... if you'll do that ... you'll do anything!



Photo is of Precious Camo/ Camie ... owned by me. Camie is the puppy I rescued. She has her own Facebook page I keep updated. You can visit, be her friend if you want. This is her link: https://www.facebook.com/camocameobates


Story is owned by me. It's really a serious, humorous article. Still ... I don't lie to my dogs! :) We have three!

White Pages ... and Frederick's Of Hollywood!

White Pages ... and Frederick's Of Hollywood!
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka #Granny Gee

Photo is of me as a young woman who loved to dress in the most beautiful clothes ... I loved myself ... I may have been a little vain ... but, I was a 'good' vain;  I cared about others, not just myself .... Photo is of me, owned by me... Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

　

　

The old, brown, wooden floor felt cool to the back of my naked legs. I sat in front of Grandma Alma's wooden bookcase. Oh, the many books she had! They all had ... white pages ... in them!

I looked down beside my crossed legs, saw my crayons, pencil. I would be here for some time. No one would miss me at all!

I sat cross-legged, my favorite way to sit. I still do that as an adult; I feel it in my knees ... but, I still make me do it.

I pulled several books out to examine them. I looked only at the white pages this time. Sometimes, I would read.

I saw drawings on some of the white pages. They were my drawings. I loved to draw clothes on women. I wanted to be a fashion designer when I grew up! I was only a child at this time.

There! I had drawn a girl with pretty, curly hair. I drew a beautiful dress on her; colored it. I'd never seen anyone wear a dress like that! I would even made paper dolls, draw ... color the dresses, cut them out ... place on my dolls. In my eyes, they were beautiful ... I remember people liking them.

Later in life, I was a teenager ... married, living in the mountains of North Carolina. I received a catalog one day ... I stood there with my mouth opened wide.

I had been drawing some of those clothes as a young girl! I loved the beautiful women, clothes in that catalog! It was a ... Frederick's Of Hollywood, of all things!

I didn't go to fashion design school. I had married too young. I had a young child. My Grandmother Lola was going to send me to fashion design school. I 'messed that up'... by the choices I made.

I sometimes, look back ... see the little girl sitting on that old, wood floor. I can still feel how cool that floor was on the back of my legs. I can see how she sat there drawing, coloring ... forgetting the harsh world around her. Colors, dreams occupied her mind. Oh my, what that little girl would have done if she'd only lived her dream! White pages ... one day to see my style was like Frederick's Of Hollywood!


Photo Credit/True story are both owned by me ... Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka #Granny Gee

It's Just How It Affects ... Me

It's Just How It Affects ... Me
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

Photo is of clean drinking glasses ... sparkling clean glasses that shine like diamonds!  I love to drink from them!  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee (Photo Credit is mine)...


　

　

A little girl's chubby hand stretches up to open the old kitchen cabinet door. She tried not to touch the cabinet ... it had stains on it; she didn't want to get anything on her.

The old kitchen cabinet was a dirty white ... but, so ... beautiful white when it was washed down. Now ... it was filthy. The glass windows were smudged where a blind man's hand would reach for a door.

Inside the cabinet were dishes, glasses. The little girl wanted a glass. She was thirsty ... her stomach was in her throat! She began panicking ... please don't let one get me!

She saw the bugs crawling around inside the cabinet. She was afraid ... every time! A bug would fall on her, down her sleeve or the neck of her dress! She would scream, cry ... jump up and down!

The glasses were hard to see through, had a funny smell. The little girl rinsed it out ... as well as she could. She tried to put 'just barely' her lips to the rim ... to drink

She stood there as an older woman ... looking into the warm, soapy suds. She used the sudsy sponge to wash her glasses until they were shining ... spotless. Not a smudge, stain was left on a glass. She held each by her fingertips, to put in the dish-drainer.

She held the last glass up to the light of the kitchen window ... smiled. It was so beautiful ... clean; just the way she liked them! She put it in the dish-drainer to dry naturally.

Glasses ... shiny, clean glasses without smudges, stains ... were like diamonds. Hold them up to the light ... they would sparkle with their own light!

I love clean glasses to drink from ... I love to hold them to the light to see the sparkle ... I, also, do that with my rings. I want my glasses as shiny as the diamonds in them. Drinking from a dirty glass as a child ... 'did something to me'.

If I see someone drinking from a glass with greasy hands, leaving smudges on their glass ... I have to look away. I am always so careful to not get anything on my glass, when drinking.

Sometimes, I see people get food on the rim, or inside their glasses. I can't help it ... it bothers me. Yes, I know we all aren't perfect ... I honestly ... am so far from perfect ... it's pathetic. It's just how it affects me.


Photo Credit/Story Credit ... both are owned by me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka #Granny Gee

I Held Her Ashes In My Hands ... Close To My Heart ... On 9/11

I Held Her Ashes In My Hands ... Close To My Heart ... On 9/11
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee

 My mother as a younger girl ... her eyes were always so beautiful.  She was just as beautiful.

 My mother as a young girl ... those beautiful eyes.  Her eyes were always made up beautifully. 
She got up faithfully as a young, older woman every morning at 4:00 am ... to put her makeup on.

My mother as a young girl ... when I first became aware of my mother as a little girl .... she had long, flowing, curly hair.  I've always loved long, curly hair.

My beautiful mother is on left in black outfit ... with her cousin, Carol... so young, vibrant

 My mother as a young adult woman ... she was so beautiful.  She was standing beside her own mother, my Grandma Alma.

My beautiful mother, Daisy Earlene Strother ... and my little brother Rick-Rick in Camp Lejune on the Marine base.
　

MAMA

Tommy was talking on his cellphone ... I could hear him talking to his soon to be ex-wife. I could sense it wasn't a 'bad' phone call.

Skip was dressing after taking his shower. I was ... I don't know what I was doing. I do vaguely recall standing in the middle of the floor ... not seeing the tv in front of me.

My eyes were full of tears ... it was like trying to see out of a foggy window ... things were distorted. It didn't matter, I didn't see what was in front of me ... I didn't know to. I was in shock ... my mind was seeing, hearing ... inside me.

My mother was dead ... my mama was dead. Something wasn't right ... too soon to know ... what. My mind was seeing reactions, watching different ones that ... evening she ... died.

I was trying to 'see' regardless of the shock I was in ... have you ever tried to do that? It's like trying not to forget something ... you are already ... forgetting.

Shock ... I have been in the state of shock so many times, you'd think I'd be used to it.

No ... the shock of new things, more family members, friends dying ... events taking place ... many 'bad' things ... create mind-numbing shock ... it never affects one the same way. I can tell you this ... firsthand.

I've experienced shock more times in my life than ... I can count. I never chose to ... I never wanted to ... if I'd had my choice, I'd been more like you ... only have two or three 'bad' things happen in my life, and live life out ... without anything else happening.

I've lived several lifetimes ... of shocks, 'bad' things happening. I am stronger for it ... I know you probably think that. Well, I am ... and I am not. When it's my life ... it's too close to home. I'm not strong at all.

Suppose you saw a horrible wreck in front of you ... you run to see if you can help someone ... only to discover ... that ... someone ... is your daughter ... your son ... laying there ... hurt badly, broken ... bleeding; or worse ... dead.

Shock takes over ... these are the type shocks I have suffered through time ... I just told you that so, you could 'imagine' the kind of shocks I have suffered through time. That means bad things have happened in my life ... some, I can tell you about; some ... I won't tell you about.

Normally, people live out their lives with just a few shocks. They are the fortunate ones ... life's been good to them. Life has been good to me, also ... and no matter how bad ... I still believe good things come from ... bad things. I believe, I believe ...

I don't question 'why?' Why? Because, I know I won't get an answer. I stay positive even when it appears that I'm not. Why? Because ... everything's going to be alright in time. Does it make me hurt less? NO.

Sound began penetrating my mind ... my eyes became aware for a moment, and I saw a plane fly into a tall building. It's a movie, I thought. I ... closed back up, until ...

My eyes were trying to see out of the watery curtain before them. Was that breaking news of some sort? I heard the man's voice ... he was talking excitedly ... what was he saying. It sounded like something 'bad' had happened. It wasn't a movie ... oh my God! I had been watching a plane fly into one of the twin towers.

I went into another shock ... the shock grew. I was overwhelmed with grief ... knowing we had to ... go to the funeral home shortly ... to pick up my mother's ashes; oh my God! My mama was dead!

Something equally as bad ... had just happened, somewhere ... I still didn't understand 'what' at that time. The man was pointing toward the tall building ...

I do remember thinking as I was getting the gist of what was happening, how frightened my mother would have been if she'd been sitting alone ... watching tv ... we'd been attacked on American soil for the first time!

The second plane hit ... my mind couldn't comprehend ... all those people!

All those people! I saw things falling in the sky ... later, I knew they were bodies of people who were jumping into heaven ... to keep from burning in the flames of the hell they were caught in.

We left the house ... I felt I was in a white fog. I was numb from the inside out. We were going to pick up my mother's ashes at the funeral home ... oh my God! My mama was dead! My mama was dead! My mind screamed with pain ... screamed loudly. No one heard me.

I vaguely remember the man handing me a bag ... it was heavy in my hands. The bag sure was smooth, neat-looking ... new, brown. My hand caressed the texture ... (the artist in me).

It was open at the top ... my eyes could see ... oh my God! My mama ... was in my ... hands! Mama! My mama is dead!

I was holding my mama in my hands ... her ashes weighed almost as much as a baby. Maybe like how much I weighed as a baby, when she once held me in her hands.

I held my mama close to my Heart. Mama! I cradled her in my arms; carried her out to our vehicle.

The saddest thing happened ... more tears, grief on top of grief ... in my Heart. My brother was in the parking lot. No one had thought to call him! He'd come to go to a funeral. Oh my God. My poor brother ... my very Heart broke for him. He had driven fourteen hours to get here.

Life can be so cruel ... sad, happy. We all make it be either way; sometimes, unintentionally. My Heart cries for many things..... it will until the day ... I die.

Maybe when I die one day ... my last breath will be one of such relief ... as it goes out of my body, it'll leave my face looking as peaceful as my mother's face was. I will never forget my mother's face ... it seemed to almost ... have a little smile. Maybe she was glad to be out of ... her Hell.

There are things I'll write ... there are things ... I won't write. My mother was going through a lot just before she died. I knew some of it ... learned the rest through time ... after she died. She shouldn't have died ... there are others who live now, know this to be true.

We walked into the house; I sat down with my mother's ashes still in my arms. I sat quietly, lost in my own thoughts ... swimming in the sea of grief somewhere in my mind. Grief ... shock ... go hand in hand. I'm familiar with both ... and with it ... the darkness it brings.

Voices from the tv began to become louder, excited. My attention was drawn to the tv. I began learning about the deaths of thousands of people on the day we picked my mama's ashes up from the funeral home.

　

　

　

Photo Credit ... photos are of my beautiful mother, Daisy Earlene Strother; it is owned by me.  Story is written, owned by me.  This is a true story/color of my life.  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ aka #Granny Gee 

She Called Me To Please Help Her ... I Was Too Late

She Called Me To Please Help Her ... I Was Too Late
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ aka Granny Gee

My beautiful mother, whom everyone always said was the prettiest woman 'in these parts'.  She always looked like Elizabeth Taylor.  Daisy Earlene Strother.  Photo is owned by me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates/ aka Granny Gee. 



We were shopping at Sam's Club, enjoying walking around. Each of us were pointing out things that caught our attention.

I saw a beautiful, big vase shaped like an urn. The thought went through my mind as I looked at it (later ... that haunted me). It was made of porcelain, blue and white. The big vase had a matching top. I was thinking ... I really want that.

Later, we walked back by the vase ... I put it in our shopping cart. Besides, we both loved the Biscotti biscuits that were inside. We would have them to look forward to when we drank our coffee.

We paid for our purchases; pushed the shopping cart to the food area. We ordered the special they always have ... the big hot dog, and huge drink for a couple of dollars. The hot dogs are wonderful, though ... we could never eat but, one.

We drove up in our driveway, began taking things into the house. I walked by the phone, saw the flashing light ... someone had left a message. I didn't listen to it ... then.

When we finished putting things away ... I stood looking at the red light ... walked to the phone, pressed the button to make messages play.

I began going into shock ... (I know shock only too well, as I've experienced it over, and over in my lifetime ... one would think I'd be used to it).

An eerie, unearthly sound began coming out of the message machine. My mind worked against my ears ... to understand what I was hearing. Skip! Skip, please come here! Help me, Skip! Something bad ... something bad!

We both walked out of the house ... not knowing to think. My mind kept replaying the awful sound from the phone ... my mother was calling for me! I had to get to my mama!

She was saying in such a sound that wasn't from this life ... she was 'keening' ... 'Help me, Fay-eeeeee-eeeeeeeee'. It played out 'long'... it went straight to my Heart. I couldn't get to her ... fast enough!

We drove up in the driveway ... got out, went inside. I saw her big, upholstered recliner (it was a rocker, also). My mother wasn't sitting in it ... she always sat in it.

My eyes were drawn to the floor in front of it. There were all kind of things lying there . The one thing that drew my attention was a white hairband sold by Avon ... I saw my mother's blood on it. I saw a strand of her hair ... I picked it up.

Oh, my God, what happened to my mama! It's hard now to think back to that day ... September 09, 2001. I sat down in her chair trying to feel her. I couldn't ... all I could feel inside was ... panic!

Soon, people were standing, sitting on the front porch of her home. We went outside to stand ... the shock froze me. I couldn't move, think. I stood ... the phone rang inside the house. We all had a reaction to it ... soon, someone came out of the house.

She walked over to my mother's husband, told him it was the hospital calling ... did he want to speak to them. This stood out to me all these years; he said ... in these exact words .... 'she's dead, ain't she, goddamn it'!

I don't remember anymore from that evening. My mind doesn't want to remember ... I can't take it. Something wasn't right ... I won't remember back ... then.

No one went to the funeral home to see my mother before she was cremated. Skip had no choice but, to leave on his big truck. My son, Tommy, and I were the only ones to view her.

I walked into the room ... my eyes paid attention to everything to do with my mother. Did they think they had disguised the hose that went to her body ... to the place where they were draining my mother's blood?

I am going to look, see what we all aren't supposed to notice. It's my nature ... I look at the background ... while you look at what's in front of you. But, sometimes ... I can't.

I'd worked in the hospital where I had been used to seeing 'everything' ... so, it didn't offend me. It did hurt my Heart ... that was my mama!

I stood there ... noticing how tightly someone had wrapped the pure, white sheet around my mother's body.

I'm sure that sheet was wrapped purposely like that ... to discourage someone who might think of pulling the sheet back, only to discover the tube ....

My eyes went to my mother's face ... oh my! My mother's face had become so much younger! She looked like she was in her thirties ... she was so beautiful. My mother had been the most beautiful woman around 'these parts' ... when she was young.

Her hair had been washed. I reached out to touch it ... I rubbed my hand over her hair, fluffing as I did. So soft ... that was the last time I ever touched my mama. My hands 'remember' the softness of her hair, so clean ... fresh.

My hands 'remember' me touching my son's head in death ... to discover the stitches in the back of his head ... as he lay in the wooden box. My mind ... I don't want to remember ... now.

As I fluffed my mama's hair, something wet fell onto my hand. It was a teardrop from my eye ... I stood looking at it. It was like a crystal ball where one could look ... hoping to see the future. I couldn't look that long ... life was in front of me ... no, death was in front of me ... staring me in the face.

Mama! Mama! What happened to you? My mind closed up to what it knew ... felt. Through the years since her death ... I've had to do the same thing. I won't, can't think about it.

I played the recording of her on our message machine, two months ago. Through time, no one ever wanted to hear it. Skip asked me to please not play it when he wasn't around ... maybe not play it at all. He is the only person to know the effect it has on me.

Two months ago, I played it so, both Skip and I would hear it. I instantly became sick, panicky, upset. Her voice came over the recording ... 'keening'... for me to please help her! Something 'bad' was happening to her ...

Since September 2001, I've tried to listen to the recording ... I go to pieces. I try to play it ... sometimes. That is the last time my mother's voice spoke ... it spoke 'from another world'.

There are certain sounds now, that pierce through my Heart, that I can't bear to hear ... it sounds like her! It's a certain 'high' tone ... not one you usually hear everyday.

The strange thing is that the message on our machine said 4:10 pm ... the call to the rescue was at 4:00 pm ... her husband said he was doing as they told him to do ... to revive her. He was ... doing ... CPR.

My mother didn't sound like she was in this world on the recording ... I'd never heard her voice sound like that. When she was dying ... how did she call me for help.

No one needs to answer my questions ... I have many more that need answering. I'm waiting ... to add what I don't know ... to 'what I know'.

Either way ... my mother 'called me', begging me to help her. I got there too late. In my mind ... I don't think my mother called from their phone ........... how could she? Knowing what I do ... you would wonder the same thing. No way ...


Photo is owned by me; it is of my beautiful mother.  Story is written, owned by me.  It is a true story.  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee