Sunday, November 29, 2015

Tommy Dragonfly ... is Reality Today



TODAY ... NOVEMBER 28, 2015

MY TOMMY DRAGONFLY BECAME REALITY TODAY.

(11-28-2015)








Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter









Many of you know that for the past several years I have been wanting to get a ... dragonfly tattoo in memory of my Son, Tommy.



Not only that ... it had to be in a certain place ... on my right shoulder where ... I already knew it belonged.  Because ... all this time I have 'felt' a dragonfly sitting there.



Today, I had an appointment at Dystinkd Tattoo here in Louisburg, NC with Jason Wilkins, owner and tattoo artist.  215 S Bickett Blvd, Louisburg, NC 27549   ...  (919) 265-7353 ).





I had a wonderful first experience getting a tattoo.  It made all the 

difference having a person who is kind, caring doing the actual tattoo. 








I was very emotional inside ... no one but, Skip and several others knew how much this dragonfly tattoo meant to me.  Now ... I have something to actually see, touch for comfort ... a link to Tommy. 



His love for dragonflies is why I chose a dragonfly ... not only that, since Tommy died ... dragonflies have appeared in the strangest places, oddest times.



I would like to thank Jason for making this perfect dragonfly for me ... reality to remember my Son, Tommy with.  Thank you for your kindness, caring.



Thank you to someone who knows who they are ... for being a special part of this beautiful dragonfly experience.  Thank you, Skip for being there, and part of this.  Tommy was special to you both.  I love you both.



Each time I look down at my dragonfly I feel a soft happiness all the way to my soul.  So much ... that tears fill my eyes.  This means the world to me.  This is from a person who just knew ... she would never have a tattoo.  Now ... don't tell Skip yet ... I'm thinking about a flower tattoo!  :)



Photos owned, article written/owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/Gee Granny on Twitter.





#My Tommy Dragonfly  #In Memory of Tommy  #Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee  #Dystinkd Tattoo Parlor, Louisburg, NC  #Jason Wilkins, a very talented tattoo artist

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

IS IT POSSIBLE WE BECOME BOTH ... CRACKERS AND FISH?


By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter





Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee





Humor me ... I've been thinking about the GMO fish we will be eating in the future ... near future. They don't have to label it so, we won't know when we are eating it.


Just humor me for the moment ... I'm wondering 'why?' they won't label it as such ... and why? they don't want us to know what we are eating.  Why would they take away our right to know about this 'fish' we will be eating?

Do you remember my story about we might be crackers someday ... 'We Are Going To Be A Damn Cracker Before We Know It'.  Remember the movie ... Soylent? People ... when they died ... were turned into crackers to feed 'the world'.  Look at end of this ... you can read my story:  We Are Going To Be A Damn Cracker Before We Know It.


Now ... you are getting the picture ... I see your face.  I hate to even finish what I am wondering ... but, I will.  Just because I am wondering something ... thinking it ... doesn't mean it'll be so, or ... it's so.  You know how we all become suspicious when we are told we aren't allowed to know something ... especially when it comes to what we are eating, putting in our bodies.  I'm no exception.


I heard on tv today that the fish is 'long, eel-like'.  A picture came into my mind ... pink, flesh-like. Are you getting the picture?  Pink ... flesh-like?  Human?  I wonder if there will be any bones in it? What kind of bones?  If no bones ... will the fish be processed and ... sliced?


I'm grinning now ... of course, we aren't going to be eating each other ... are we?  Is it possible we'll become both crackers ... and 'fish'?



*****


WE ARE GOING TO BE A DAMN CRACKER BEFORE WE KNOW IT ... By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee



I was just reading another article that makes me think we really are going to be a cracker before we know it. I’m sitting here thinking I don’t want to be a ‘damn’… (yes, I know I said ‘damn’, once again… I have the right to say it… just read back in my stories!)… damn cracker. 


Why? Because I don’t want anyone to be eating on me! I can’t imagine anyone spreading peanut butter between crackers… that are ‘me’! Then… bite me! 


I knew when I was a young girl that the movie ‘Soylent Green’ made little alarms go off in my mind! I knew it! I knew by the time I got ‘old’… probably old people would be turned into crackers… to be eaten by the whole world! I knew it! 


I just read an article about a ‘mock’ petition being signed by younger people… to euthanize ‘old’ people to lower healthcare cost. Here’s the link: http://myownheart.me/2013/07/31/obamacare-supporters-sign-petition-for-mandatory-euthanasia-of-senior-citizens/ Guess what? People were ready to sign the mock petition… they wanted the old people out of the way… 


Okay, what would happen next? Yes, you guessed right… they wouldn’t want to waste all of ‘us old people’… so, what could they do with them? ‘Old people’ are already thought to be ‘dry, airy, light’. Why, they’d turn us all into crackers! ‘We’ are already part of the way ‘done’!!! 


Now, can you imagine apologizing to your grandma, grandpa… great-grandma, great-grandpa… saying, ‘I’m so sorry I’ve got to eat you, granny, I’m hungry! If your grandchild never liked you, he’d say, ‘I’m gonna eat your ass’! Lord, only knows what people would say, do …when eating someone else’s grandpa, grandma! 


Skip said if this ever becomes a reality, and he’s still around… he would like two dozen Barbara Eden crackers! That Skip!  )) Can you see all of us…. ‘old people’… packaged up in pretty boxes, each with our own name on them? I would want my box to be a very happy, colored box inviting people to eat me. Oh no! I’m ‘old’, even I was wanting to be a cracker in a happy-colored box! Just to be in a happy-colored box… I’d be a cracker! No way! 


If you see a box with my name on it… you better not bite me, think you can chew me up…. swallow me. I’m going to make you sick! I mean it! I’m worried now, because…. we are going to be a damn cracker before we know it!


As a young girl I watched Soylent Green... alarms went off in my young mind... I knew by the time I got old... old people would be turned into ...crackers!


 






Note by this Author:

My thoughts above are exactly what I wrote.  Just suppose ... they have found a way to remedy the problem of having room to bury people.  Just suppose, they make us ... into crackers and ... fish!  :)

Photo/real thoughts owned, written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

I'M NOT HERE ... BUT,THERE

I'M NOT HERE ... BUT, THERE
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter
(I dedicate this poem to a special person who was once in my Life ... Earline Jackson Williams)



























I'm not here ... but, there
I just can't tell you where

I'm inside myself
I have nobody left

To hold, love me
I'm just the shell you see

My life here on earth is done
All I can do is wait for Death to come

No, don't try to bring me back
My Life's spirit ... I lack

My love has gone away
I have nothing more to do, say

You see my shell moving around
I live in my house without sound

The only life you see are my tears
That fall on on my face as Death nears

Let me go to him ... let me die
I'm so lonely ... I cry

I sit in my chair each day
I can't focus on life ... what did you say?

I hear you but, I don't ... why?
Because I'm already gone I sigh

I'm not here ... but, there
I just can't tell you where




Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee






Note by this Author:

I woke up thinking about our elderly neighbors (couple) we lived beside once.  They loved Skip and I ... we loved them.  

In fact, I was the first person she called when he was dying.  I held his hand as he took his last breath, talking softly to him ... telling him everything was going to be alright and that we loved him.

I'll never forget watching her as I would check on her ... I never saw anything like it.  She began to 'be not here' ... she turned off all sound in her home ... when I would knock on her door, I would see her sitting in her chair through the window ... staring into space.

It broke my very Heart.  This woman who was full of energy, laughter ... loved her flowers ... always working in her yard or making something ... quit living once her husband died.  

She was here ... but, she was ... there.  I dedicate this poem to Earline Jackson Williams, whom we loved with our Hearts.  She and Bill were the best people in the world to us ... we all were close.  We didn't think 'neighbors' ... we thought of best friends we trusted to look after each other.  

They were close just as Skip and I are close.  When he died, she died inside.  All her beautiful Life sounds of laughter, talking left her body.  She became a shell of herself.  

I tried to bring her back by encouraging her to turn the tv back on ... get happy sounds to surround her.  To do the beautiful things she always made, always was working on.  She would smile her sad smile at me, nod ... being polite.  Her family took her away to live with them.  I never saw her again.  She died not long after.

I loved you, Earline and Bill, with my very Heart.  You both were a big part of my world.

Photo/poem owned, written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.



























Monday, November 23, 2015

BIG, OLD WORLD

Big, Old World ...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter






Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter








Have you ever thought about ... what separates you from being at the mercy of this big, old world.


I look at things probably in a way you don't.  In fact ... I look at things in several different ways ... not one.  I don't take anything for granted.


The thought came to my mind as I drove back home from town.  I was thinking about if ... people realized just how small they are as an individual ... by themselves ... when they are out and about ... in this big, old world.  Have you ever thought about it?


Like when you travel by yourself miles from your family ... no one knows you, or cares what, when ... where you go.  It just doesn't matter ... you aren't anyone to them.


In fact, as long as their life is going well ... they probably never know when you pass them.  If they never see your face ... your eyes ... it won't make any difference anyway.


Only special people notice you in a good way ... only ugly, mean people notice you in a bad way. We just have to be careful when alone ... whether you like it or not.  There are predators ... out there.
You do always have to be alert.


I don't know if you are like Skip and I ... but, you just may be when you have big Hearts, care about others.  We are always paying attention to others ... we are some of the first to open the door for you, help you get your groceries into your car ... help you if you need it ...


If we are so fortunate to have a little extra money ... we will help you pay for something when we see you came up short at the register.  If we were rich ... we would do more.


We pay attention to little children running around without their parents nearby until we see them reunite with their parents.  We would step in ... if we saw someone begin to hurt them or make them afraid.


We notice older people, if they seem to be having trouble with something ... we walk to them ... and help sometimes, without asking.


If all people were like this ... no one would be murdered, injured, robbed by ugly, mean people. Unfortunately ... not everyone is like that.  I think about when being isolated ... one does have to stay alert.  I don't mean be afraid of their shadows ... but, stay alert when out and about in this big, old world.


Now, back to what separates me ... you ... from being at the mercy of this big, old world.  Unlike many of you ... I only have Skip and our two Pups and less than the fingers on one hand ... of friends that I treasure between me and the world.  Many of you have big families, lots of friends ... big support system.  Do you realize how fortunate you are?  I hope you do.


I feel fortunate to have what I have to keep me, buffer me ... from being alone in this ... big, old world.





Note by this Author:


This is something that popped in my mind this evening.  As I drove back from town ... for some reason I felt very small, fragile in this big world.  Have you ever done that?  I'm so grateful for the world I have ... Skip and the Pups, and our best friends.


Photos/my thoughts written, owned by me ... Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.


Damn Truck Driver!

Damn Truck Driver!
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny on Twitter





This is photo of me, Gloria Faye Brown Bates, when I drove truck with Skip.  My turn to drive!





Many miles away from home
Broke down on a big truck
Waiting for parts to come ... sometimes, taking days

Sitting in a big truck at a shop
Snow, ice covering the ground
Trying to stay warm ... wishing to be home

No one knows all a trucker goes through
Nor do they care as long as they get all
They want ... need ... never give out

No one cares about a trucker who risks his life
To get loads delivered on time
They are mentally abused where they go

People who work in offices talk down to them
Treat them less than
Not caring what the trucker went through ... to get there

Not caring if the trucker has been up all night
Driving through the rain, snow, wind, ice
Avoiding road hazards at every turn

Not caring that the trucker has been verbally abused
All the way, when they stop at truck stops
Because someone's had a bad day

People who hate their jobs treat truckers badly
When they arrive on time, making them wait
While people they work for ... treat them badly on the other end

What's a trucker to do when he/she is abused at every turn
They go quietly their way, trying to get back home safely
Where they hope to find rest, peace, happiness for a short time

Then ... they do it all over again to get your luxuries to the stores
Making sure you don't go without
Your pretty clothes, perfumes, foods and toys

You never think what a trucker goes through
As you wear your clothes, eat your food, play with your toys
Walking around smelling of perfume

A trucker has to go through so much
Just to stop to eat a meal, take a shower, rest
Sometimes, he can't get either for many hours

While you sit in your homes
All warm, cozy ... safe and sound
Do you hear the trucks going by late in the night?

Do you think of what truckers suffer
To get everything you see as you look around in your life
From your nice bed, your easy chair ... tv?

You become angry when a trucker is late
Or if he gets in a wreck, dies ... all because you don't get
Your material things ... never giving a thought to his life

Never giving thought to his family, what they go through
Your mind never goes past your comfort needs
And what you want ... when you want it

Damn the trucker for dying ... for not getting the load there
Damn that trucker ... you needed hairspray, make-up
To make yourself pretty ... you don't care if he died

You don't give a damn ... all you want is what you feel you need
Never giving thought to what a trucker goes through
Making it hard for them wherever they go

Won't even back-up to let a truck go through
Blowing your damn horn because ... he inconvenienced you
Damn truck driver ... taking up the road

Only special people know what they suffer
People who have walked the walk ... talked the talk
Experienced the abuse, perils of the road

No way a soft person could understand past their needs
Just get all my comfort needs ... I'll be satisfied
I don't give a damn about ... a damn truck driver!

Damn truck driver ... you know they are no good
They have such a bad reputation for all the things they do
Why they piss in bottles, throw them out

They womanize ... play games in the truckstops
They look down into cars to see women's legs
We know they are no good ... damn truck driver

No one thinks about bad apples in everything
Messes up all for good truckers who take pride in all they do
It's like judging a book by its cover ... never seeing any farther

Because ... like a mother-in-law ... we know they're no good
Just a label dooms one ... doesn't matter how good they are
Truck drivers ... we know they're no good ... damn truck driver!



Note by this Author:

I have walked the walk ... on the Trucker's path.  I watched, listened, studied how people treat truckers.  It's a damn shame what a trucker goes through ... from the company he works for to the company he delivers to ... picks up loads from.

I drove with Skip, my husband ... for 3 years.  I can't tell you all the things I witnessed.  You wouldn't want to be subjected to such things as a ... damn truck driver goes through! You'd raise Hell with your soft, spoiled self.

The employees take out their bad days on truckers by deliberately making them wait hours longer than their appointment times.

When the trucker does get backed into a dock, the people unloading the truck will deliberately take their time by taking breaks ... never seeing the trucker as anything more than a robot with no feelings.

I say ... damn the people whom I see, know ... do such things to a ... damn truck driver.  They ... like people in a church ... get on power trips and play their games ... making people suffer.

Like a church ... it's not the church who does those things ... it's the people in it ... the bad apples who do things they shouldn't.  Nobody knows ... why?  Because the trucker is so tired, all he wants to do is find a parking place that is hard to find ... go to sleep, rest.

He takes the abuse knowing he/she would look bad ... be the loser if all came to light.  It's not ... damn the truck driver ... it's damn those people who make their life ... pure Hell.

Not all people are like that ... when a truck driver meets up with a person with kind words, voice ... it means the world to them ... like putting soothing salve on a wound.

In my opinion ... my way of thinking ... when you go out of your way to play your games ... power games making you think you are so important thinking no one knows ... know this ... someone is always watching, listening without you being aware of it.

Oh ... and damn you for being ugly ... you will reap what you sow!  The quicker, the better so you know how it feels.  An eye for an eye ... a tooth for a tooth ... yes, I believe if you can dish out unkindness, ugliness from your soul ... you should get it back ... tenfold.

This is strictly my ... Gloria Opinion.  If you don't like it ... go be kind!  Damn you if you don't ... that's right, damn you if you don't.  I hold my ground ... here.

Photos/true poem written, owned by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.  Oh, so is my 'Gloria Opinion' ... I stand behind every word.

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Death ...

Death ...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny





Death ... the end ... no more chances
To say or do the things we put off doing
Never enough time to learn to do it now ... not later

Death ... having to let go whether we want to or not
Pulls us from this world when we don't want to let go
We leave when Death calls ... no matter we try to hold onto Life

Death ... makes me panic, fear
It's the end of all things ... no more here
Just the ever-after ... darkness no light

At one time it didn't matter if I died
If I had died I wouldn't have known the difference
I was already walking in darkness, I was gone

That's what happens when you lose a child
A precious baby you carried, brought into the world
You never expect to outlive it

I can't think of a worse pain for a mother
She's very fortunate to recover from it
It almost took my life ... my fighting spirit took over

Took over when I didn't know
Began to pull me from the depths of darkness
Darkness kept sucking me in

Knowledge of my child's death
Was bigger than me, hard to live with it inside
I couldn't walk away, leave it behind

Every moment of my life it tortured me
I couldn't see light for darkness
When I did it was gone in an instant

Grief ... so much grief
No room for happiness, fun things
Pain greater than great

No one can understand unless they walk the path
To feel, really feel the pain
Only when they lose a loved one will they understand

I'm afraid of dying ... I want to live
No longer do I want to let go of Life
I can live now, knowing my son is gone

Five years ago he died playing on the beach
With his three year old son
He died a beautiful death, the way anyone'd want to go

No pain, suffering ... quick
The angels buffered his fall to the sand
As he collapsed, drawing his last breath

The sea gulls sang, the ocean waves were background
The sun caressed his sweet face
As his soul lifted to fly with Angels to Heaven

Death ... I've been almost through the door
How I came back I do not know
I would have never known I died, I was gone

When someone we love dies
It's hard to accept we won't see them anymore
Hear their voices, see their smiles

In order to live we have to learn to accept
The fact they aren't coming back
We have to help ourself to cope

If we don't, we are doomed
I helped myself after 3 long years
Of darkness in the land of grief

It began with me helping myself
Through writing the Hell away
Releasing grief word by word

Putting steel in my backbone
Getting to my feet, dusting my pants off
Facing Life once more ... head on

Since ... little baby steps by baby steps
I have made it after five long years
I'm alright now ... this year being the best

Death didn't claim me, I don't know why
Grief, sickness took me to its door
I'm living proof that miracles happen

I'm still here when the others aren't
Others being all my loved ones, my son
I don't know why ... I won't question why

I will go on with my life being the best I can
I'm not perfect nor try to be
I will live until I die ... until Death comes for me







Note by this Author:

Sometimes, on gloomy days when Skip isn't around ... I become very sad.  The thoughts of Death will sometimes bother me.

Thinking of Tommy ... my son, my mother, father, aunts, brother, grandmothers, George the only grandfather I ever knew, cousins ... everyone I grew up loving with my very Heart ... make me very sad.

All my family is gone ... the ones left are gone, too.  Only a few communicate with me ... it means the world to me.  Our lives are so far apart that we could never have relationships.  It is the way Life is ... sad.

It's the legacy left to us of our family before us ... distrust of the others knowing if you get close ... reveal your weakness that that's the first thing they will use against you if they become upset at you.  No one can trust.  Life is what it is ... no more, no less.

Some of us try ... but, we are always on guard.  We have been conditioned to be that way since a little child.

Today is a gloomy, rainy day.  These sad thoughts came to my mind.

Photos/ poem owned, written by me.  Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.



To Know We Have Righted All Things Wrong ...



To Know We Have Righted All Things Wrong ...
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny






Bodies swaying as they danced
In beat to the music playing
Eyes closed ... in another world

Hand in hand, bodies close
In sync, perfect rhythm
Each body knows what the other wants

A step here, a dip there
Bodies coming back to touch
Tightly to one another, never missing a step

Love is in the air warming it in its glow
Two bodies loving one another
In every move they make

Becoming one, blossoming into two
Once again ... two have become one
Never wanting to leave the other's side

Love forming a lifetime bond
Soulmates finding each other
Perfect for no one else, perfect for them

Love ... like a soft glowing fireplace
Softly burning colors of red, orange, yellow
Warming one to the soul

Emotion filling each Heart
With a deep caring so much it hurts
Lay your head on my shoulder he says

Rest your mind knowing I'll protect, love you
Trust in me for I'll never hurt you
Never will I let you go

Laying her head on his shoulder
Closing her eyes in trust
Believing in him ... that was thirty-two years ago

Bond unbreakable, lasting a lifetime
Being young ... getting old
What happens if one loses the other

Like a faded rose and stem separated
Leaves fall off in sickness
The rose fades until ... it fades away

The beauty of love through time
Everlasting ... sadly there's an end
Nothing can change it when its time to go

Is that all we come to when we grow older
To lose our beauty our spunk in life
To leave our loved one behind?

We come to an end through sickness, death
Leaving our soulmate behind to grieve
Isn't it sad to know the beginning is just the end

Loving until we die ...  no chance to practice
The things we learned life
No chance to do things over, make things right

Make things right where we went wrong
As a younger person ... never getting to say I'm sorry
To re-do things so, our minds could rest

Rest until the day we have to take our last breath
Have to go ... go knowing we did all things right
Leaving nothing undone

Couldn't we all go to our graves
Knowing we righted all wrongs
To make all right before we died

That would be the ultimate to carry with us
Into the ever after
To know we have righted all things ... wrong








Note by this Author:

I look around me ... look at myself, Skip ... I see us growing older.  I see others growing older.  Like many before me, I ask where did time go?  We think we got forever ... forever comes quickly.  I think of so much I have wanted to do, say ... never will get to do but, try to say.

I notice that at times I feel panicky.  I become afraid.  I worry about death because in my mind ... Tommy died so, that means 'anyone could die' if he did. I have been to the door of Death ... somehow, managed to escape it several times in my life.

I keep seeing a friend of ours in my mind.  We lived next to him.  I watched him worry about dying.  He had emphysema, was on oxygen.  When he'd see an ambulance come to pick someone up in the neighbor-hood he would walk outside, stand watching.  He never knew I saw the fear of dying on his face.

When he lay dying, his wife began calling my name.  I heard her, ran to their house.  I went to the bedroom, saw him already 'in another world' ... I went to him speaking softly, took his hand.

I talked quietly to him telling him he was loved, and everything was going to be alright.  The EMS guys came in, I walked out of the room.  I was with him when he took his last breath.  I went to his wife, held her as she cried.  My Heart was breaking.

Later ... I watched her go downhill.  She made her home into a tomb ... no sounds whatsoever.  When I'd go knock on the door I would see her sitting through the window.  Her life, her smile and energy ebbed away.  Her soulmate had died ... she had died inside ... she was waiting for her body to catch up.  She died soon-after ... on the path of dementia, then death.

I loved those people.  They were elderly.  I learned by watching how sad it is when one of them died ... how the other grieved.  I cared with my Heart only I couldn't get to her to please be alright ... please keep her beautiful energy, smile.  She faded away ... no one could stop her.  Just as a cut flower dies ... she did.

The thought came to my mind ... is that all we come to after going through so much in life, learning so many lessons?  We just die and ... that's it ... the end?  Isn't it sad?

Skip and I are best friends, soulmates ... he and our Pups are my whole world.  Yes, sometimes ... I become afraid ... no matter how old we get ... we always wish to live forever never leaving the ones we love.

Photos/poem owned/written by me .... Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.