I Want to Know How that Feels Again ... Before I Die
By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/aka GeeGranny
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
Well ... I went to the doctor yesterday. When I was weighed, I found out I'd lost 7 more lbs. I'm so proud of that ... but, it sure isn't easy to do!
I have been keeping a food journal for the past month. I mean I write everything ... really everything I eat ... drink. Do you know what? It's hard to hide what one eats when you keep a food journal.
I noticed as time went by that I began to change my eating habits. I have been eating non-fat, sugar-free foods. I also, am eating smaller portions.
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee
The one thing I am very proud of is ... I haven't drank a carbonated drink in a month. Truthfully, I had cut down to only one Diet Pepsi a day for months prior to dieting. So ... before I knew it ... I had come this far and I haven't missed drinking one! It's amazing.
My mind is on wearing smaller clothes, dressing pretty as I once did. There's no way ... I'm only saying this about myself so, don't take it personal if you are overweight ... I could look so pretty in clothes right now. Well, I know I can look neat, and okay ... I mean the way I have in my mind's eye the way I want to look.
Being 'older' ... doesn't mean someone is going to give up, cut off all their hair and get a tight perm, dress in 'old' clothes. Hell no ... that's not for me. I don't knock it for anyone else ... I'm just not going to do it.
I feel I've missed a lot of years on my life from battling cancer, grieving the loss of family members, the loss of everything in a house fire ... the worse, the loss of my son. I've been through so much shock, pain, grief.
I want some of those years back ... and I'm taking them back. I laid claim to them a month ago. I've lived with myself since 1998 ... in so many 'bad' states of mind. Years have gone by without me realizing it.
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny
I've thought about weight-loss surgery. I may or may not do that. Time will tell. I don't know that I would ever discuss it 'if' I did that. It's an option. I've been studying this for the past couple of years ... watching, listening until I'm very familiar with it. So, there's no need to tell me not to, or what the risks are ... if I decide to do it ... I already know. I have support if I decide to do it.
For now, the weight is coming off slowly. The food journal makes me accountable for what I eat during the day. It wouldn't be any fun to have to write down 'a lot' of bad foods I've eaten ... I couldn't bear it. So, I have to be careful of the portions, and what I eat.
I drink a lot of water throughout each day. That's so good for everyone, not just me. We all need 64 oz. water every day. I just simply drink all through the day. I drink a lot of decaf ... unsweet tea, also. I drink one cup of decaf coffee with a little cream each morning.
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny
I have a plastic tub with sweaters inside ... new, beautiful sweaters that I bought over the years. I never wore them because when putting them on ... I felt 'too fat'. I'm excited now ... when it gets cold, I will begin pulling them out.
I know there are others who are on this road in their life ... who want to lose weight. Like me ... they probably have a ton of smaller clothes in their closet they can't wear. All because of gaining weight.
I gave a 'closet of clothes' away one month ago. I meant not to ever wear the big clothes again. I have a few clothes left so, I have to lose weight.
I messed up one time this month ... almost went back to being the same old way ... accepting being overweight ... accepting eating what I wanted ... accepting I would grow into an over-weight, old woman one day.
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny
I looked around me when being out at the people who have gone that path. I can't do it ... I just can't do it. I didn't see any happy expressions on anyone's face. I could tell the extra weight made them feel self-aware, made them feel awful.
Do you notice I don't speak in a 'bad' way about people being overweight ... me being overweight? I try not to. I understand how it feels to need to lose weight. I know better ... I used to be the 'perfect' weight ... somehow, I got lost along the way. I see I'm not the only one.
I would be the last person to tell someone to lose weight. Why? Because I know I don't have to tell them 'what they already know'. I know they know ... I am, have been one of them. Being overweight is always in my mind almost every moment of the day.
I wish everyone well who is on this same path I'm on. I have lost enough weight now ... to make me feel very excited about the future. I know I want more of this good feeling. :) I can't change that I'm getting old, but ... I can change how I feel, look.
Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny
Note by this Author:
Since the summer until today ... I have lost 28 lbs since the summer. It hasn't been easy at all. The truth is ... at least for me ... food makes me fat. Snacking makes me fat ... eating whatever, whenever makes me fat.
Do you know how hard that was to admit? Food ... too much of ... makes me fat. In today's time ... oh my, when out and about ... I can't believe all the people I see now, who are fat. It makes it easy to just let go and be like everyone else. No one will lack for company today.
I am getting older, and I want to know once again how it feels to get into pretty clothes again ... look pretty again. I told Skip that I want to know how that feels again ... before I get old, and die.
Photos/true story owned, written by me ... Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee/@GeeGranny.
