Well, this makes probably the 4th-5th pickup load of 'stuff' ... treasured things I've kept for many years ... I have 'let go' of.
It wasn't, it hasn't been easy to arrive at such a mindset I'll tell you. I will tell you this ... since I've come to such a mindset I was very surprised at how easy it became to 'let go'.
I tested myself this way ... I went out to where I had stacked all very neatly ... stood, looked at it all expecting to feel big tugs at my Heart over something I had held special, treasured to my Heart. I didn't feel ... anything. My things had become ... strangers to ME. It WAS time to for-real ... let go.
Instead of feeling sad ... and rushing to 'save this, save that' ... I made myself walk over ... handle things, think about each. I saw only 3 things I decided to keep out of 'millions' of things. That was a purple/green cowl scarf (my lucky colors) ... one sweater, one shirt. Amazing ... as I loved all my ... stuff.
I will say all my things were very important to ME ... it's strange ... the more I learn in Life I realize I don't need all the material things we think we have to have in Life.
I have realized that letting go means ... freedom. Freedom ... space to be whatever I want it to be. Space to move, breathe in ... to stand, take deep breaths of relief knowing my life is lighter for it. Not only that ... I chose the person I wanted to have them because of all she does for others ... I felt she would enjoy going through, choosing whatever she wanted to keep, treasure. That makes me feel good because all my things were nice, not junk.
Why don't I want to keep all ... leave them to family as everyone else does? There's no one left in my immediate family to do that ... no one like my own child to have, treasure one day ... to hold dear anything I had ... knowing I was his mother so, my things would become most special to him.
Have you ever thought that one day ... all your family could just die quickly ... leaving you behind with only grief, sadness in your Heart? Oh my, who would have thought so many would die in such a short period of time. What is truly sad is ... their deaths weren't in any way natural, normal.
I've written through time about my life ... so much grief, pain ... tears. Thankfully ... I strive to always be as positive as possible. If I fail for a time ... I know in my Heart it is only a matter of time ... I will be positive again.
Sometimes ... I think I try on negativity just like trying on an ugly dress ... knowing I'm going to take it off ... but, get to feel what it looks like for a short time to make me appreciate the beauty of ... at least being as positive as possible.
For that short time of 'trying on' ... I can have the freedom of thinking mean, ugly things ... say them ... then 'let go' ... take off that ugly, horrible dress ... go on with Life. It's easier said than done but, somehow I manage ... because I mean to go to my grave a good person ... one who isn't a negative, hateful, mean, ugly ... disgusting old ... bitch.
Sometimes like everyone I know ... I CAN be a bitch but, I'm not really one. Sometimes ... Life can make us be like that no matter how good our intentions are. Sometimes, even the nicest, best person has to hold their ground, speak their mind ... make boundaries for others not to cross ... demand respect, protect others.
How in the world can one be 'beautiful' doing that? Sometimes in Life, we have to be fierce ... be a force. Think about protecting your child, pet, family, friends ... you are going to turn into the most fierce force ever to 'save them'. That's my nature ... I am protective and I 'walk through fire' never thinking first. I walk into the fire meaning to ... save, protect. Love is the most powerful force in this world though sometimes it seems the opposite is true ... especially now.
This morning I have been looking around ... to see if anymore of my things have become ... strangers to ME.
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