I Don't Know How To Be Homeless...

I Don't Know How To Be Homeless...

By Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee



I opened my eyes, they are even with the ground
At this position I can see every grain of white sand
I'm glad it's white sand, not dirty

I want to close my eyes, go back to sleep
My body, mind are so tired... tired to the bone
I know I have to get up, so no one will see

So no one will see me, sleeping here on the ground
They might report me, I be made to leave
I'm afraid to go into the homeless world

I don't know them, they don't know me
I don't know the rules upon entering such a world
I've just entered the homeless world, I don't have a home

Every minute, every second I have to look around me
To see what to do next, decisions made in a split second
With the barest of thoughts

What do I do now, where do I go
Is there any one who will befriend me, care what happens to me?
Dare I ask for help, God... what do I do?

I sit on the bench vacated by a homeless man
He left the newspaper that covered his body while he slept
I sat on it, hoping to feel warmth from it

I sat straight, wanting to appear normal
I still knew how to do that; I still have pride
I don't want to be homeless... I don't know how to be

I've got to pee... oh, where do I go?
I want to brush my teeth; wash my body
I don't have a toothbrush, I don't have clothes

Where do I find a bathroom, shower?
How do I get a toothbrush, find clean clothes
I don't smell bad... not just yet

Please Lord, help me to know the way out of this world
I've only been here 24 hours
If I stay here, I'm not going to survive

I sat there, looked around, watched an old woman
As she tottered by in her worn out shoes
Watched her until she went out of sight, pushing her shopping cart

Two bums were arguing close by, my attention was drawn to them
One shoved the other, he fell to the ground
Where I laid just a short while ago

I got up, walked over... I didn't want them to fight
I asked them to please be all right
"Mind your own business", the one standing... told me

I thought to myself... I'm not strong enough yet
To enter this world I care about
I'm going to have to become stronger, learn what to do

I thought I could just come here, enter easily
I can't... there's more to being homeless than just what I've seen
For now... I can't imagine what is past the knowledge I have

For now, I decide not to sit down anymore
I turn around, begin walking down the sidewalk
Walking to my truck, opening the door, driving away