After years of suffering in a self-made prison ... one needs to ... bust the Hell out of it.
You tried, failed ... let go ... just let the Hell go ... begin living again.
We can almost see the end of our Life's road now ... quit wasting time ... you truly tried.
Yes, now ... it's time to simply ... let go. (Yes ... I said that)
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I was glad to wake up this morning ... looking outside I could see beginning daylight. A good night's rest can make the difference when you go through something emotional.
Now, I wait for Skip to wake up hoping his frame of mind is much better. He has had a hard time lately. I care with my Heart.
A new day ... going forward, no looking back. Looking back at things that could have been ... might have been after such a long time, years even ... has been a true waste of time. Then again maybe it wasn't ... because at times it felt good ... one could close their eyes for a few moments pretending all is good with the world.
Sadly one can pretend, hope, wish ... try to make amends for the past ... it can't be done alone. One can be truly sorry for mistakes made when young .... the day of reckoning comes. We punish ourselves day after day hoping whom we've hurt in the past forgives, will want to move forward. No, one can't do it alone no matter how hard they try.
Do we keep punishing ourselves, stay in the rut hoping others will come around to make good of our remaining time on this earth? Do we continually hope, wish for even the smallest crumbs to come to us to make us happy for a moment enough so, to hope once again?
After years of doing such there comes a time when it needs to stop. Sadly, wishing ... hoping ... praying good things can come from bad ... we stay in that same rut way too long.
Sometimes ... like the old saying ... a straw can break the camel's back. Sometimes ... we see little red flags ignoring them ... when you play with fire you are going to get burnt no matter what. Some things aren't meant to be ... won't ever be no matter how much you pray, wish, hope. Let go ... let go ... let go.
You can try to do the best you can, be the best you can be ... it won't ever be enough to make certain people in your life care about you.
I've watched through time someone dear to my Heart hurt, grieve over mistakes made when younger. Wanting forgiveness for things done in the past ... being young, doing things that shouldn't be done.
Young people make awful mistakes ... if they have the chance to grow older ... they reflect on everything they've ever done ... they hope for forgiveness ... a chance for new beginnings. In the process of waiting for years hoping, praying, wishing ... one stays still in a rut punishing oneself day after day. How much should a person punish themselves?
I've watched this happening for years now ... I've seen the beautiful happiness a few little crumbs thrown created. I have watched as the magic those little crumbs created ... disappear ... until one day down the road ... magic crumbs are tossed out again giving hope that mistakes can be forgiven ... people can live in the present not ... the past.
I watched day after day a person grieve over the past at times wishing to die because they are in this rut ... one person can't do it all. Sadly ... that person is really the only one who suffers, his life stands still while others live.
It isn't their fault, they are just living their lives never knowing ... maybe knowing and can't quite care because of feelings from the past ...knowing someone who loves them only wanted to be a small part of it ... just enough for a kind word here and there ... maybe even a happy day or happy birthday, merry Christmas or even words of get well soon, hello ... or just kiss my ass.
Forgive, put bad, sad feelings in the past. As you grow older you will one day be sickly, old ... reflecting on all your mistakes wishing to make up for them before you die. One person can sit and sit ... waste all the years left in their life hoping, wishing .... if no one cares to move forward ... nothing positive can come from it. Nothing. When that person isn't well at all he lives in Hell on earth, tormented from past mistakes.
In my Gloria Opinion ... I have a lot of them ... quit kicking a dead horse, it damn sure isn't going to get back up ... it's dead, it's gone ... nothing you say, do is going to phase it ... never-ever in any shape or form. That horse ain't never going to get back up.
You've wasted all these years living on magic tiny crumbs of kindness hoping, wishing. It's not going to happen. Let them live ... continue to be tormented by the past. It's more than time for you to move on.
It's time for you to let go ... let go ...let go.
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Note from this author:
In life we wait, waste time ... caring with our big Hearts we earned from our Life's Lessons ... we are vulnerable because we learned from past mistakes. We feel deep pain ... we let people continue to kick us thinking we deserve it. No ... there comes a time when it has to end ... sometimes, it takes that proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.
In life ... when mistakes are made ... they can't be taken back no matter how good you become, no matter what BUT ... we can go on to be the best we can as soon as we wake up, become aware.
I have been watching, sensing, hurting for the past years seeing someone waste their days caring, hoping to make all right before dying ... if it hasn't happened in all this time ... it's time to put it to rest.
It's time to move forward again ... we don't have that much time left. Get your ass out of the past now ... you have been in your own self-made prison for years.
Now, break the Hell out of it ... put one foot in front of the other ... let's go forward. We have places to go, things to do. No time for the past anymore. I don't have time to continue to watch you suffer anymore.
I know you are a for-real, kind, good person. Your Heart is in the right place. I won't stand by to see it crushed anymore.
To be fair, the 'others' who cause all this pain probably aren't even aware this person cares so much. Not only does that person care, so do I. I'm a very good person, too.
Sadly ... people through time have always put labels on people such as mother-in-law ... sister-in-law ... step-mother ... step-father ... the list goes on. They leave a bad taste in people's mouths, they expect them all to be the same because of bad apples.
I'm here to tell you not everyone is alike ... I am the exception to a lot of things. I'm not your typical person who is a troublemaker who is always stirring the pot ... I'm sure not your typical woman who plays games to hurt others.
No one can put a label on ME ... only my name ... Gloria. Paste your labels somewhere else ... I don't deserve, nor accept them whether you ever like, care about ME or not.
I don't play games with anyone. I know Life is far too serious to hurt other people. I know how pain feels only too well. I am going to use my power now ... to help this person moves forward ... he's been stuck in time too long.
I have respected, loved, cared all this time for others while watching him hurt causing ME such soul-deep pain. Enough! It's time just like that song ... let it go, let it go ... let it go.
How many, many, many parents are there who live in this torment in their older age, sick, dying ... praying for only forgiveness if nothing else. How many, many parents live in their own living Hell ... self-made prisons? How many ... many parents live for the magic, tiny crumbs of kindness to be tossed out to them?
The ones tossing the tiny crumbs never see the magic their little ... tiny crumbs create! They never see the sunshine come out on a rainy day! They never see the crystal tears rolling down lined, old, tired cheeks. They never know just how much one, two, three or more little words mean. Maybe ... they might not care?
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